Ok so my Gran “graduated” from the 8th grade, had pictures and wore a pretty dress. But did she go on to HS , I don’t know, I don’t think so it was like 1930…she got married at 16/17 and kept working.
But today, kids still “graduate” from the 8th grade. Ok have your ceremony, celebrate the milestone, but to throw a party? A graduation party for passing 8th grade? We did not do that in my community IIRC, and my kids schools don’t host any pomp and circumstance for it but in other parts of the country it’s a time honored tradition still! WHY?
And what does one bring to an 8th graders graduation party? Cash, gifts, again WHY?
My sister’s husband and his ex-wife are throwing a sit down dinner in the private room of a restaurant for their son’s eighth-grade graduation, and no, they can’t afford it. My sister, as the stepmother, is keeping her mouth closed. I asked her what was in-store for the kid’s HS graduation and she just rolled her eyes.
I will give the kid a check, but it probably won’t be as much as the kid wants. I’m not one of those who counts up the cost of my food, drink, and entertainment when I decide how much to give. I figure they invited me, not my checkbook.
For a girl, I think a bouquet is a really, really nice gift. It’s a little grown up, it’s universal, it’s cheap (6 tulips in paper from the grocery store is fine) and it’s perishable, so it’s not another piece of crap to clutter up her life.
Boy is trickier, but I would probably go with a plate of homemade cookies or a giant candy bar. Same advantages.
I voted for savings bond, but I think a really valuable and special gift would be to get the kid a book that has a lot of personal significance to you. (One that’s high school age appropriate of course.) The idea behind that is that you’re giving them some philosophy that might be able to guide them as they grow into an adult. The savings bond idea is kind of the same - a gift that will become greater and more valuable as they grow older. A middle school graduation is a transition from childhood into adolescence - a time for growth and change.
EDIT: If it’s your kid, not you personally, that’s been invited, I’d have them give the host a $15 gift card or something.
I don’t think passing 8th grade is really a graduation. Do middle schools in the US even hand out diplomas? I don’t think so. Mine didn’t. My son’s didn’t.
If I were invited to a friend’s kids 8th grade graduation party…I’d probably not attend.
I don’t like graduation ceremonies/parties for anything less than high school. What’s more, I don’t agree with letting the kids who didn’t graduate walk across the stage, just so they won’t feel left out. A graduation should mean something other than “I attended school, most days, for a set period of time”. It should mean “I worked for this diploma”. An 8th grade graduation ceremony and party is making a mountain out of a molehill.
We had a little graduation ceremony at my middle school. It was a nice little get-together after school where our teachers said a few words and we all had lemonade and cookies after. I felt very grown-up in my new dress from Ross and my first pair of kitten heels. My mom and grandma gave me some flowers, and afterwards we went home and had cake with the close family. I think I got a few really sweet cards and maybe $20 out of it. It was nice to get dressed up in my first somewhat formal outfit not from the kids section, see my friends’ families, say good bye to friends headed to different high schools than I was, and mark what is really the last milestone of childhood.
What’s wrong with having a little celebration? Middle school is a tough time for a lot of kids (and probably for parents as well), and it’s worth having a slice of cake to say “Whew, we made it through and are on to bigger or better things!”
That’s the way I see it. We celebrate birthdays even though the guest of honor was born years ago and didn’t really take an active role in the event. We celebrate the 4th of July in honor of an event that happened two hundred years ago. We celebrate Christmas in honor of an event that happened two thousand years ago. Compared to these, an eighth grade graduation party makes great sense - it’s an actual accomplishment by somebody who’s at the party.
We don’t do graduation parties. I didn’t have one for middle school, high school (graduated 2005), college, or grad school. My classmates and I had general parties, sure, but no family stuff. My parents gave me money, and some relatives sent cards and money, but it wasn’t a big deal. The diploma and moving on to the next life stage was the big deal.
OK, when I graduated high school my parents did pay for me to go to China for a 2-week vacation with a friend. But I still didn’t have a party.
It’s different where I’m from, as there’s no such thing as middle school, but I don’t remember there being a huge party for anyone’s 6th grade graduation, which I guess would be the equivalent transition. There was usually a small family get-together with grandparents and aunts and uncles, some hot dogs and a cake. I seem to remember getting cards and money from my grandparents, but not a huge amount, and not from everyone else.
My eighth grade graduation was kind of a big deal. No caps and gowns, our principal felt that should be reserved for high school. We wore suits and prom dresses. If you think it sucks trying to find the perfect dress at 16, you should try it with 13 year olds.
We all went on to high school, but our situation was somewhat special. We were the only district anywhere nearby that did not have a middle school. We were K-8. We also only had a single class per grade. Each year, it was just under thirty kids who had been together all day everyday for nine years who were about to be split up and thrown in with a bunch of strangers. It was a significant thing for us. They also handed out awards, both for the year and for your entire time there. I think we had a little dance afterwards.
That said, I don’t remember anyone getting presents, except maybe from parents or grandparents. I also don’t remember anyone throwing a party, though I’m sure some folks invited grandparents and aunts and uncles back to the house for cake. That was pretty much who came to our ceremony–grandparents and close aunts and uncles. Nothing beyond that. No one traveled in for it. It was special for us, but no one had any delusions about its relevance to the world at large. Even the principal understood that it was, and should be, something less than a high school graduation.
I don’t know why a party would be shocking though. If any family came to the ceremony, you’d want to do something with them, so why not a little party? It makes just as much sense to have a party for the kids, really no different than any year-end party. I’m not sure what kind of party the OP is talking about. Unless it’s an MTV My Sweet Sixteen-style extravaganza, I’m not sure why it’s even noteworthy.
I didn’t have anything like this, nobody did in my city AFAIK. My city only had one middle school and one high school, though. So, except for a few religious kids who transitioned to the local private Catholic school for grades 9-12, no goodbyes were necessary.
This party is not just cake and punch. Invitations were sent and it’s a catered affair. It’s because of the Jone’s I guess. We may decline, it’d be fun to see everyone, but impossible to just pop in and out as we live out of town. Now around here everyone does graduation open houses for HS grads. People go nuts planning for that, like a year in advance they need to paint the house, redo landscaping, install that brick BBQ etc etc. Pressure is on!
I can’t think of anything more worthless than an alumni membership to a grade school. Wait, yes I can: a graduation party for an 8th grader. Way to set your expectations high, parents. No offense, chela. I voted for savings bond.
8th grade graduation parties and ceremonies set the bar too low for future events. It’s like giving out certificates for everyone who participated in something…when it’s too easy to get something, it no longer has nearly as much value.
Graduation parties aren’t about accomplishment or expectations, they are about acknowledging a milestone. They are like birthday parties.
And I say this as someone who has literally never attended any of my own graduation ceremonies, high school or college, nor had a graduation party, nor had many birthday celebrations, nor a wedding, because I am not much of one for acknowledging milestones. But I can respect that others are, and I really don’t see any harm in it.
My son “graduated” from 8th grade last week. They had a brief ceremony (about an hour) and called it a promotion. The kids wore nicer than usual clothes, but nothing fancy, and no cap/gowns.
We did not hold a party. He did not expect gifts. My brother sent my son a nice volume of Phillip K. Dick stories. It was really nice, but we weren’t expecting it. Which kind of made it even nicer.
We did go out to lunch afterward with a couple of other families. While we were at lunch a group of the 8th grade teachers came in. They came over and said high, then all ordered drinks at the bar. One of the dads bought them a round. After having our three boys for the last year…they deserved it.
It’s a nice rite of passage. It’s an exciting day. Sure, why not a small gift card and maybe flowers if it’s a girl? Congratulations, sweetheart, we’re proud of you!
Mind you, we didn’t have a middle school/junior high in my system back in the day, so it was a long stretch from kindergarten to the eighth grade.
I think it is more of milestone if you’ve gone to a K-8th, and then are moving into high school. Around here you move schools after either 5th or 6th grade, so there is an elementary school graduation, then a couple years later 8th grade graduation. Combine that with preschool graduation and kindergarten graduation and it sort of starts to become meaningless.