Grammar Rant In The Extreme

[Cartooniverse]

Okay, by Pit standards this may be a bit lame. I got this in my mailbox this morning. This man works at a University and apparently has for many years. The depth and breadth of his illiteracy is breathtaking !!! I’ve only altered names and info so as to make this a sanitized document.

I don’t even know where to begin. I feel like the English teacher in “Up The Down Staircase” who ( sadly ) corrected a love letter for grammar and punctuation and returned it to the heartbroken girl who had penned it- oblivious to the fact that it was written about him.

My name is Bob Smith and I work for Smith University’s Department of
Music’s
Video department, for which I have a variety of job descriptions, but
one of
which is a teaching assistant for our University’s Introduction and
Advanced
Live Video Production curriculum and Experiential Learning Program. We
teach a
variety of video realated subjects from everything covering how video
works to
professional high end network level video production and broadcast. In
our
classes students learn the basics in the intro level class and upon
completion
some of our most talented and brightest individuals earn the chance to
practice
what they’ve learned with professional individuals out in the industry
as it
happens. Such events include working at the CMA music festival in
Nashville, TN
for which they are apart of a live video broadcast with ABC as well as
the live
show for the stadium. Other such gigs include Rock Festivals in Farwell
Michigan
and Bay Blues Festivals on the beaches of the Chesapeake along with many
others,
that we do year after year providing video to well over a million people
per
year. Some of our biggest gigs that we’ve used or are planning on using
some
form of a Steadicam on are: The 30 Anniversary Elvis in Concert at the
FedEx
Arena in Memphis, TN, which we did last fall and our current project:
The 2008
Papal Visit to Yankee Stadium in NY.

I’ve wrote all of this to say that we also teach the art of steadicam,
of which
I, aside from my boss and mentor Bill Callison, am the sole instructor
for
educating these eager students in this technique. However, our current
situation
needs revamping. We currently teach with a light weight XXX-Cam system
that is
barely capable of supporting a 10lb DV camera. Recently our film
department
purchased the Steadicam Pilot model and so far we have been more then
pleased
with its performance and will be switching soon and teaching with it.
For the
most part this will be sufficient for teaching the basics and letting
the
students get exposure to it as of now, but considering that most of our
work is
centered around live video broadcast production it would be nice to be
able to
teach this art on a more advanced level catering to live video and triax

adapatable cameras. We currently use in our production SONY BVP550 and
950
cameras that we would like to be able to fly off of a Steadicam rig
(particularly Steadicam because of thier world renound image for being
very
capable and professional level performance). In conclusion I would first
like to
thank you for bearing with me through all of this, and am asking if you
have any
insight or suggestions on how we might be able to obtain this goal since
we
currently do not possess the resources to purchase a rig brandnew (with
these
Specs). Is there any possiblity of possible donations or perhaps demo
rigs that
would be capable of our needs that we would be able to purchace at a
discounted
price? Again I thank you for your time and appreciate your consideration
in this
matter. We eagerly await your reply, thanks and have a good day.

The fact that this man has contact with young people and in some way may in fact influence their speech and writing patterns is horrifying. What, did this guy fail Freshman Comp ??? :eek:

Cartooniverse

[Mr_Shine]

Apart from the line spacing, I can’t see a problem. Any chance that the method he used to send it to you screwed it up, rather than him actually typing it that way?

[WotNot]

[QUOTE=Mr Shine]
Apart from the line spacing, I can’t see a problem. Any chance that the method he used to send it to you screwed it up, rather than him actually typing it that way?
[/QUOTE]

I’d have assumed so, myself: I’ve seen that sort of problem with emails before.

Other than that, there are some spelling errors in there, and that “I’ve wrote all this…” howler, but the major problems seem to be more compositional than grammatical as such.

Frankly, I’m dissappointed: Cartooniverse, if you really find the depth and breadth of his illiteracy to be breathtaking on this evidence, then I can only assume you’ve led a sheltered life.

[jjimm]

I have removed the line breaks, and can confirm that it is pretty shittily written:

@Some bozo

My name is Bob Smith and I work for Smith University’s Department of Music’s Video department, for which I have a variety of job descriptions, but one of which is a teaching assistant for our University’s Introduction and Advanced Live Video Production curriculum and Experiential Learning Program. We teach a variety of video realated subjects from everything covering how video works to professional high end network level video production and broadcast. In our classes students learn the basics in the intro level class and upon completion some of our most talented and brightest individuals earn the chance to practice what they’ve learned with professional individuals out in the industry as it happens. Such events include working at the CMA music festival in Nashville, TN for which they are apart of a live video broadcast with ABC as well as the live show for the stadium. Other such gigs include Rock Festivals in Farwell Michigan and Bay Blues Festivals on the beaches of the Chesapeake along with many others, that we do year after year providing video to well over a million people per year. Some of our biggest gigs that we’ve used or are planning on using some form of a Steadicam on are: The 30 Anniversary Elvis in Concert at the FedEx Arena in Memphis, TN, which we did last fall and our current project: The 2008 Papal Visit to Yankee Stadium in NY.

I’ve wrote all of this to say that we also teach the art of steadicam, of which I, aside from my boss and mentor Bill Callison, am the sole instructor for educating these eager students in this technique. However, our current situation needs revamping. We currently teach with a light weight XXX-Cam system that is barely capable of supporting a 10lb DV camera. Recently our film department purchased the Steadicam Pilot model and so far we have been more then pleased with its performance and will be switching soon and teaching with it. For the most part this will be sufficient for teaching the basics and letting the students get exposure to it as of now, but considering that most of our work is centered around live video broadcast production it would be nice to be able to teach this art on a more advanced level catering to live video and triax adapatable cameras. We currently use in our production SONY BVP550 and 950 cameras that we would like to be able to fly off of a Steadicam rig (particularly Steadicam because of thier world renound image for being very capable and professional level performance). In conclusion I would first like to thank you for bearing with me through all of this, and am asking if you have any insight or suggestions on how we might be able to obtain this goal since we currently do not possess the resources to purchase a rig brandnew (with these Specs). Is there any possiblity of possible donations or perhaps demo rigs that would be capable of our needs that we would be able to purchace at a discounted price? Again I thank you for your time and appreciate your consideration in this matter. We eagerly await your reply, thanks and have a good day.

Run-on sentences, bad punctuation, missing punctuation, grammatical errors, misspellings (“realated”, “thier”), spelling howlers (“renound”), malapropisms (“aside from”), bad style (“possiblity of possible”), random capitalisation (“Specs”). Nowhere near the worst I’ve seen, but still painful, especally emanating from an educational institution.

[MisterThyristor]

I’ve seen worse, but from an instructor at Purdue University, that’s pretty bad.

[Cat_Whisperer]

Yup, that’s a painful read. It reads like it was written by someone who doesn’t write very often, and doesn’t have a clue why what he’s doing isn’t good.

[Giles]

My main criticisms would be that:
(1) The paragraphs are too long;
(2) The sentences are too long.

That makes it hard for the reader to digest the message.

That’s all I’ve got.

[Duck_Duck_Goose]

Well, it’s pretty bad, but…it’s from a video instructor. A tech geek, requisitioning equipment. Frankly I’m surprised that it’s as coherent as it is.

And it is actually perfectly coherent, if you ignore the occasional clunky grammatical construction and the lack of commas, the spelling errors, etc. He makes his points well, and if you read it out loud, it’s obviously a document that’s written by someone who writes the way he speaks, and someone who is accustomed to lecturing. The cadence of it reads like a speech. He outlines his main points briskly and doesn’t ramble.

He’s probably a great video instructor, probably knows how to explain widgets and frannistans with great clarity. He just says “I have wrote” instead of “I have written”. But if I’m in a class to learn how to run a Steadicam so I can make big bucks in Hollywood, I wouldn’t care about that.

[Zsofia]

I mean, it isn’t good, it’s kind of like how my dad writes, but it’s hardly what I expected when I opened the thread. I help people who don’t have computers do their work on library computers all day, and I assure you - that’s not even worth a blink.

[Liberal]

The “I’ve wrote” was pretty bad.

[Khadaji]

I liked this: My name is Bob Smith and I work for Smith University’s Department of Music’s Video department.

[WotNot]

As a comparison, here’s an extract from a press release I was sent by a PR company, promoting a newly-formed image management consultancy (the names have been changed to protect the [del]ignorant[/del] innocent:

The company is ran by Creative Director C—— O——, who set it up with the aim of stopping the drift of talent and clients going to London. Just one year after setting up, [Company Name] now boost the best teams of Photographers, Stylists, Hair and Make-Up Artists, Models, Presenters and Voice-Overs.

C—— certainly knows her stuff a trained Hair and Make-up artist, she spent most of her career jetting between London and the states styling fashion shoots for some of the world’s leading brands and has worked for prestigious glossies like Elle and Marie Claire. She has had the opportunity to learn from the best in the business and has created images for celebrities such as Geri Halliwell, Jamie Oliver and Jordan to name a few. C—— say’s “Watching the Devil Wears Prada takes me back. I’ve spent many a day, where an editor says when creating an image, good; is just not good enough you have to be the best”.

Believing that the North East had just as many talented individuals who equally could deliver these services and coupled with an abundant of quality locations from the region’s impressive landscape, C—— left London and now provides representation in [location] and to the wider northern regions.

As the press release later goes on to say:

They say an image is worth a thousand words but the impact of your image can be lost through lack of attention to detail. That’s were [Company Name] can really work with companies big or small to help formulate an identity.

Attention to detail: so important.

[jjimm]

Jesus H, WotNot.

[jacquilynne]

It looks to me like a case of someone who normally writes casually trying to gussy up their writing to sound formal and academic and failing.

[WotNot]

[QUOTE=jjimm]
Jesus H, WotNot.
[/QUOTE]

It’s a thing of beauty, isn’t it?

Incidentally, plain WotNot suffices – I never use my full name on the internet.

[OneCentStamp]

If you think that’s breathtaking illiteracy, clearly you haven’t been to YouTube in a while.

[Liberal]

[QUOTE=OneCentStamp]
If you think that’s breathtaking illiteracy, clearly you haven’t been to YouTube in a while.
[/QUOTE]
read ths and then copie it 3 times or your will have bad luck … no im serius … i just leat it go befor and i had bad lukc for 2 day one and nite … but do’nt believ e me at you’re pearl!1!!

[Mbossa]

[QUOTE=Liberal]
The “I’ve wrote” was pretty bad.
[/QUOTE]

To be fair, that could have been a genuine mistake rather than grammatical ignorance. He may have intended to change it from “I wrote…” to “I’ve written…” but got distracted by some cool new video-related gadget before he could finish.

Of course he should have proofread the email before he sent it, but that would have left him with less time to play with his new gizmo.

[Cartooniverse]

[QUOTE=Duck Duck Goose]
Well, it’s pretty bad, but…it’s from a video instructor. A tech geek, requisitioning equipment. Frankly I’m surprised that it’s as coherent as it is.

And it is actually perfectly coherent, if you ignore the occasional clunky grammatical construction and the lack of commas, the spelling errors, etc. He makes his points well, and if you read it out loud, it’s obviously a document that’s written by someone who writes the way he speaks, and someone who is accustomed to lecturing. The cadence of it reads like a speech. He outlines his main points briskly and doesn’t ramble.

He’s probably a great video instructor, probably knows how to explain widgets and frannistans with great clarity. He just says “I have wrote” instead of “I have written”. But if I’m in a class to learn how to run a Steadicam so I can make big bucks in Hollywood, I wouldn’t care about that.
[/QUOTE]

Oooh you snarky little McSnark Snark. Luckily I’m fond of you. See here, young lady. I’ve been a vidiot for 28 years. Seen em come. Seen em go. The fact that this person works for an institute of high education and is funtionally illiterate might be amusing except for the fact that it’s TRAGIC.

-Huffily- Teaching young people how to produce high quality video and film programming is not the purvey of the nitwits of the world. ( To be honest here, I’ve been a working cameraman for 28 years. I’ve only been teaching for 18 years. )

WotNot, from where I sit, my life has not been sheltered at all. Of course, I’m sitting inside of a shelter at the moment.

@jjimm

Run-on sentences, bad punctuation, missing punctuation, grammatical errors, misspellings (“realated”, “thier”), spelling howlers (“renound”), malapropisms (“aside from”), bad style (“possiblity of possible”), random capitalisation (“Specs”). Nowhere near the worst I’ve seen, but still painful, especally emanating from an educational institution.

We have a winnah. It IS an atrocious bit of writing. Let’s put it this way. Would Purdue accept into their Undergraduate program an applicant who submitted this as a sample of their writing proficiency?

I think not.

God. I hope not.

E.T.A. : WotNot, we’re not worthy.

[WotNot]

[QUOTE=Cartooniverse]
E.T.A. : WotNot, we’re not worthy.
[/QUOTE]

Clearly not.

It’s “purview”