i’m a writing tutor at my university. i’ve started to get over the fact that 20+ year old people don’t even know that “which is a bad thing” is NOT a full sentence (well, actually, i’m not. but i’m trying to to save my sanity). but … ::: ahem :::
thank you for choosing me as your writing tutor. it means so much to me, yes, really, it does. oh, your final report for tech and prof comm? [technical and professional communications is a required class here; instead of a final you have to do a proposal, do whatever it is, and write a formal report]. sure, no problem, i can help you with that.
oh, what’s that? i just sat down to help you and you want to go outside and have a cigarette already? um, okay, sure. just don’t take too long, mmkay?
well, while you’re doing that, i might as well start skimming the report. first thing i notice is that you spelled “gauge” as “gage”, so i circle that. when you come back in, i point this out to you. instead of just politely stating, “well, that is an acceptable alternate spelling, and i prefer to use that”, you have to say, “uh, NO, that IS a way to spell it. i use it all the time in my egineering job and that’s how we ENGINEERS spell it”. i grit my teeth and say, “fine, as long as it’s accepted.” (although i still think that ‘gage’ looks stupid)(and dammit, my brother is a fuckin engineer and he doesn’t know anyone who spells it that way).
there are a few grammatical errors i notice. i see many of these by the 20somethings that make up most of the student body. but you’re 40+, have another degree in something else and have been in a professional workplace for almost 20 years. i’d expect a bit better. but hey, this is what you’re here for, right?
okay, so we’re onto the main part of your report. i see that you don’t have section headings for half of the sections. i make a note for you to insert them later and you say, “i don’t think i’m going to have time to do that, this is due today and i get all confused with msword”. well, maybe ** if you didn’t come for help the day your huge report is due you’d have time to fix things! **.
ah, the list of steps you took to complete a job. well, everyone in tech/comm remembers that “begin steps with a verb” is drilled into your head since day one. you don’t say “1 - you are going to need to check this”. you say “1 - check this”. well, most of this looks pretty good. but here’s one step where you have “3 - instrument the results”.
i say, “um, is instrument here a verb?” meaning, “instrument here is not a verb”. it can be used as a verb (although i think it looks odd), but i have no idea what you’re even saying in that step.
so what do you say? “um… i’m not really sure what you mean. i’m not quite sure i know what verbs are.”
** you’re forty-fucking-plus years old and have written how many papers and you don’t know what a VERB is?! **
so i tell you a basic definition: “a verb is something that a subject does. like “i ran”, ran is the verb, you are the one running”. you seem to understand this just fine. but once again you have to try to pull the “i’m an engineer” bullshit.
“well, in the LAB, instrument is a verb, we ENGINEERS use it all the time.”
:rolleyes: “so how do you USE it in the LAB?”
"well, we’ll say, 'go get the instrumentation — ’ "
well there you go fucknut! you are GETTING the instrumentation! “GET” IS THE FUCKING VERB YOU ASSHAT!
so i politely inform you of this earth-shattering fact. instead of simply acknowledging understanding, you find it necessary to say, “well, you know, in engineering, sometimes we use language that the average layperson wouldn’t understand. it’s just technical discussion. you know.”
** i don’t care! i don’t give a shit if you’re an engineer! i know plenty of engineers! most of my friends at this school are going to be engineers! AND NONE OF THEM HAVE THIS FUCKING ATTITUDE! **.
it’s not my fault you can’t write for shit, or even know what a VERB is! and the fact that you try to belittle me because i’m NOT an engineer makes me want to pack your rectum with m80s and jam a lit q-tip in beside them!
::: pant pant pant :::