I know we’ve all puzzled, as puzzlers do, as to the exact nature of the essential difference between human beings and those other creatures with whom we inhabit the glorious Earth.
Theories have been put forth and dismissed over the years, some bouncing off wildly like badminton shuttlecocks, others departing with reluctance and dismay, perhaps clinging like a piece of toilet paper to a hard-soled shoe.
Possessing no advanced degree I nonetheless presume to set forth my findings on the basis that such a theory of distinction should be simple and obvious, clear to the educated and layman alike.
Familial love was proposed long ago as the difference between man and beast, but gorillas and dolphins, and even turkeys display evidence of that (at least according to Mike Binkley).
Cats rescuing their kittens from burning buildings are clearly being heroic and self-sacrificing, so that can’t be it. Communication? Quite a few chimpanzees have shown an ability to master some symbolic language and have a handle on syntax at least comparable to that of our dear Leader. Plus Ernie, my cat, speaks quite clearly (further explanation would degenerate into a cat hijack, so I’ll just leave it at that).
Elephants paint, birds use tools (breadcrumbs, to catch fish, we’ve got pix). Ants have societies. And sadly, the show on walruses featuring two adult males bashing another male’s offspring to death proved to me that cruelty is not entirely a human quality.
Well, I was at a loss.
And then yesterday, peering into the displays at the Shedd Aquarium, it hit me. The difference is “Day Jobs”. Those sea anemones, they’re sea anemones all day long - they don’t put on little uniforms with nametags and sell burgers in order to support their anemonie-ness. No! Their anemone selves are all they’ve got and for some strange reason that’s enough. Same with the clown fish - never would they attempt to pass as crabs, lobsters, or barracuda. They may not live long, but they’re clown fish from the first day until the last.
Scoff if you will, but a truth has herein been described.