Great line in a crummy movie

Last night I watched The Astounding She Monster, a zero-budget piece of rubbish from the Fifties. The director, who appears to have no knowledge whatsoever of how to create suspense, settled for a man with a deep voice delivering portentous and ominous narration during the first part of the film. I had to sit up and chuckle when I heard:

“…but Fate had already dropped its mysterious hat…” :eek::dubious::dubious:

Bela Lugosi in The Human Monster: “You are blind, Lou, and you cannot speak. But you can hear — and that will never do!”

Peter Lorre in The Invisible Agent:[spoiler]Early in the film, the German spymaster and the Japanese spymaster (Lorre) are plotting their Diabolical Scheme. The German says, “If this plan fails, Hitler will have me shot, and you will have to commit suicide to apologize to your emperor.”

When the plan fails, the German betrays the Japanese, and tries to frame him for the failure. A three-way fight breaks out, between German agents, Japanese agents, and Allied agents.

In the midst of the chaos, the Japanese spymaster sneaks up to the German spymaster and draws a dagger. He says, “I will make an honorable man of you yet, my friend,” and he stabs the German in the stomach.[/spoiler]

“For you, the day Bison destroyed your village was the most important day of your life. For me, it was Tuesday.”

-Street Fighter, The Movie

From Sheena, Queen of the Jungle:

“You will be welcomed in my village. The head man’s locust beancakes shall be your locust beancakes. His fermented buffalo milk shall be your fermented buffalo milk.”

From The Brain That Wouldn’t Die(1962)

Old Dr. Cortner: The Superintendent had it out with me. He thinks it’s you who’s been stealing those limbs from the amputee operations.

Young Dr. Cortner: So what if it is?

Chriswell at the end of Plan 9 from Outer Space:

“Can you prove that it didn’t happen?”

And from the same movie:

“Murdered. And somebody’s responsible!”

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Chriswell at the end of Plan 9 from Outer Space:

“Can you prove that it didn’t happen?”

And from the same movie:

“Murdered. And somebody’s responsible!”


Also: “We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I will spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.”

"Gamera the Invincible"

A scientist witnesses a 200 foot tall turtle, with tusks, walking upright, then crawling like a person on hands and knees, lying down, withdrawing head, tail, and legs into its shell, shooting flames out of the four leg openings, spinning rapidly until it looks like a flaming disc, and flying away like a burning disc.
His comment: “An amazing adaptation!”

Telly Savalas’ “We’ve got LOTS of innocent monks!” from Horror Express (1972).

In War of the Colossal Beast, a woman is trying to get help from the military for her now gigantic husband. Nobody knows where he is. Then a soldier enters with word that footprints have been found that “must have been made by somebody sixty feet tall!”

Wife: “Glenn is sixty feet tall!”

Two from Flesh Gordon:

Flesh, Dale, and Dr. Jerkoff step outside their spaceship. The doctor takes a deep breath, and says, “Good, there’s oxygen on this planet.”

The Monster: “This is the Tower of Murder. It’s where I hang out.”

We had a similar thread here several years ago:

“Ho-hum. A monster’s work is never done.”

And the ever-popular “Yes, Your Ass-Holiness!” and “Yes, Your Protuberance!”

Under Siege 2 isn’t much to look at but it does have the line, “Assumption is the mother of all fuck ups.”

I’m still waiting for just the right opportunity to blast someone with that quote.

From* Glen or Glenda*

“Our whole existence is one big problem after another.”

And this pithy exchange from Robot Monster

“I think you are just a big bully, picking on those smaller than you are!”
“Now I will kill you.”

Some samples from Billy the Kid vs Dracula

Billy is suspicious of his girlfriend Betty’s “uncle,” really Dracula (John Carradine):

BILLY: Betty, will you do something for me?

BETTY: Of course, Billy. You know I’d do *anything *for you.

**BILLY: ** Get your uncle to stand in front of a mirror for me.

BETTY: Oh, Billy! Will you stop picking on my uncle?

Back at the ranch, Eva (Virginia “Mrs Olsen” Christine) from the Old Country sees that Betty is upset:

EVA: Vot’s the matter, child?

BETTY: Oh, it’s Billy. Lately he’s been asking me to do the strangest things

EVA: Vot does he vant you to do, child?

BETTY: Well, just this morning, he asked me to get my uncle to stand in front of a mirror.

**EVA: ** (Gasps) The vampire test!

BETTY: What?

**EVA: ** Oh, nothing.

Later, Drac has Billy run off the ranch:

DRACULA: Now we can deal with those [Ew!] immigrants.

Confronts Eva and her husband Franz in the kitchen:

DRACULA: I’m going to lock you two in the toolshed until morning.

EVA: But that’ll be too late!

DRACULA: What do you mean by that?

EVA: Oh, nothing.

From the same film: “The paths of experimentation twist and turn through mountains of miscalculations and often lose themselves in error and darkness!”

“When you were still learning to SPELL YOUR NAME!, I was being trained to CONQUER GALAXIES?”

Battlefield Earth

Interrupting to point out that The Horror Express is not a crummy movie. It’s actually quite good.

Please tell me that the next line was, “Probably just a coincidence.”

I remember one from The Sword and the Sorcerer, an attempt to folow on Conan and make then-TV idol Lee Horsley a superstar…didn’t quite work out that way…

Anyway, nearing the climax of the movie, Our Hero is about to confront the Big Bad King, but instead runs into the Second Big Bad, an evil sorcerer/monster. The following conversation occurs:

Our Hero, eyeing the Second Big Bad: “I have no quarrel with you.”

Second Big Bad: "Cromwell (the Big Bad) is MINE!

Our Hero: “Well, now we have a quarrel.”

Only thing in the movie that I remember, the lines were perfectly delivered–unlike any others.