This thread is addressed to people who have lost a lot of weight. When did your body image change? Was it a gradual process or was there one triumphant moment when you realized that you were looking good?
I had gastric bypass surgery six months ago and have gone from a size 26 to 10. Despite the weight loss, I’ve persisted in thinking of myself as a fat person. Until yesterday, that is … yesterday evening I’m in a department store looking at handbags, trying to decide whether to buy one now or to wait until the after-Christmas sales. While mulling it over, I catch a glimpse of another shopper out of the corner of my eye and I think, absent-mindedly, “What an attractive woman.” Then I do a double-take and realize that the woman is me - it’s my reflection in a mirror. I hadn’t recognized myself.
If this sounds vain, I apologize. Honest to Pete, this is an expression of astonishment, not vanity. After years as a fattie it comes as such a wonderful surprise to look normal again.
When did it dawn on you that you weren’t fat any more?
I have never lost a large amount of weight but I used to participate in a message board that includes people who had lost 100+ and lots who had lost 50+. LOTS of people described the issue you are, inability to “see” their weight loss. For this reason, it was generally advised to take pictures of yourself throughout the process. For some reason people could “see” it in a photo but not in the mirror.
I’ve lost more than 75 pounds. I lost 70, gained and lost 50 while pregnant and afterward, and am now down another few from then. I have only very recently begun to realize that I’m not a fat chick anymore. I have skin issues that prevent me from fitting into those size 14 pants which I covet - but since I began at a Lane Bryant size 24 (which is totally like a 26), I’m pretty okay with being in a 16.
I’ve worked hard on my diet and exercise and I’m proud of myself. I’m in the best physical condition of my entire life, now at the age of 35.
I’ve lost 180 pounds since January 2004 and have gone down from 3XL shirts and (very tight) size fifty pants to mediums and somewhat loose thirty-fours and while I sometimes look at myself in the mirror and think I’m looking great, I still oftentimes see myself as the morbidly obese person I was despite everyone else giving me looks of astonishment when I tell them I am on a diet and hope to lose another thirty pounds. (my goal is 150.)
To illustrate how screwed up my self-image is, my best friend at work is probably 6’0" and approximately 280 pounds whereas I am 5’7" and ~180 but I still think of him as much smaller than me because, for most of the past ten years, I was.
about 8 years ago, I’d lost over 150 on a medically supervised liquid fast. (I’d since put it all back on and had the band put in and am on the road to losing it again) I can remember at one point, after losing about 70 of it, being startled by the image in a mirror I rarely used. I had a “who the heck is that moment”. As I dropped the other 80, tho, I became used to it, and actually enjoyed shopping for a change - but I did this over 18 months, not six. It was a great feeling to go into JCPenney, pull an 18 off the rack (I’d been a 30) to try on and discover it was too big! :eek: :D. I am so looking forward to that feeling again.
Sonia, please be careful - there are all sorts of malnutrition issues with the bypass which is why I went with the band. Please also ne very careful of falling into “wow, I’m a 10! I don’t need to watch my intake as much” I personally know 2 people who had similar dramatic losses and noth gained back the weight when they got lazy (3 if you count me) and one of them had had the bypass!
Anyrose, thank you for your wise words. I am aware of the nutrional dangers, so I am:
working with an R.D.
seeing my doctor often,
having blood tests every couple of months
getting a vitamin B shot monthly
cramming down vitamins and supplements the way I used to down candy.
So far, thank the good Lord, I’m very healthy. Like you, I was on a medically supervised fast a few ears ago. Was your program Optifast?
I ate 300 calories a day and lost a whole big chunk o’ fat, but it all came back and then some when I went off the fast. Same thing with Phen-fen - lost the weight but it came back and brought extra pounds with it when the drugs were taken off the market. I’m very happy with my gastric bypass. Hope you’re just as content with your band.
Congratulations, Ginger! I have some of the “skin issues” of which you speak. Are you thinking of having skin-reduction surgery, or have you decided to live with it? I don’t mind the loose skin much, except for the “batwings” on my upper arms.
Over the period of about a year I went from weighing 241 down to 170, but that was just too skinny for me and I stayed at around 185 for a long tike after that. After I worked in Florida all summer I weighed in at around 208, which I think was mostly muscle that was gained. Now that I’ve been back home for a while I’ve been kinda sedentary and weigh about 221 now. Time to start exercising again.
Since I had a baby after the drastic initial loss, I think that some of my issues are related to that - I was huge with child, as they say - only I was frickin’ massive with a 10-pounder. He’s two, I’m 14 pounds to goal, and I’ll give it a year before I even go to consult a plastic surgeon. I do have saggy arms, but it’s not that bad, I can live with it. If I were to go to have it all hacked off, I’d have a tummy tuck and my tricep area done.
I think, too, that as I did this by diet and exercise alone and it took longer than it would have if I’d had surgery, that it’s not nearly as severe as it could be.
Ginger and Sonia - removing the excess stomach skin is the one “recontructive” surgery some insurance companies will pay for, as long as the surgeon lists it as a peniculectomy (I think that’s spelled correctly). One of the monthly “banders” classes I attend featured a plastic surgeon who told us that calling it that puts it in a category other than purely elective I will spoiler why (so don’t look if you’re not really concerned)
frequently, when folds of skin pile up, fungus can develop and if left untreated, those can get infected causing all sorts of other problems - this can also happen in morbidly obese people, not just those who have rapidly lost a large amount of weight)
The surgeon also said that, in some cases, she could combine that surgery with others (like a breast lift or liposuction on the thighs and bum) as part of the same session to get the insurance co to pay. Not all ins co’s will pay the peniculectomy, but there are a few who do.
I’m a guy and I still shy away from anything too form fitting. My wardrobe consists mostly of carpenter or boot cut jeans and I rarely wear a t-shirt without some sort of button-down over it. I have the same saggy skin problem everyone else does, obviously, and I’m constantly concerned that if my shirt is too snug that everyone will see what I know is under it even though I constantly look in the mirror to make sure that they cannot.
It’s strange, really. I know I look okay and actually think I’m pretty cute but still have a lot of hang-ups and am not sure if or when I’ll ever overcome them.
My best moments were at the mall, like recently when I bought size 8 skinny jeans (which are now almost too big)… and when I realized that medium tops were way to big and that small shirts fit me just right.
I was up to a size 18 for a time and had to shop at the fat woman stores (ie Lane Bryant). Now I am a size 8, almost down to a six… I can shop anywhere I like. It’s awesome.
However, even though it’s been over a year, I still feel like the fat girl inside… but sometimes I will see a photo of myself or see myself in a full length mirror and I think… wow, I’m actually skinny!
Another great moment that ras repeated itself many times… when I see someone who hasn’t seen me since I lost all the weight, and their jaws drop, and they can’t stop saying “wow!”
I don’t know that there was one particular “moment”; I’ve experienced all of the following, though:
sittin in my car with a 50 pound bag of playground sand on my lap realizing at the time I had lost two of those.
I don’t wave to people in my company parking lot much - no one recognized me after a while, so they quit waving back
Friends walking past me in a mall.
The the-SO “losing” me at Sams Club.
My brother breaking down & crying when he saw me for the first time after I lost 100 pounds.
Paying off both my Avenue & Lane Bryant cards - only to have them send me platinum cards
Being able to stand in one leg (and still have room) of my size 34 Avenue pants.
I find that having friends point out other women who are my current size helped me get a handle on the enormous change.
My plastic surgeon estimates I have about 25 pounds of excess skin; unfortunately, while my insurance covered the GBS, it does not cover plastic surgery regardless of medical necessity unless it’s reconstruction for a mastectomy. So that has been difficult to come to terms with - hopefully I’ll win $30K in the lottery & be able to address it. Until then, I’ll probably spend $30K on Spanx
