Great One-Liners

Just heard this on WNCW* and yes, spit my coffee:

"Void where prohibited. We do."

*WNCW is an excellent radio station: jazz, blues, folk, bluegrass, celtic, reggae, zydeco, etc…alternative in the true sense of the word. Out of Spindale, NC.

“Women: can’t live with them… Pass me the beer nuts !!”

  • Norm, Cheers, appr. 1989



“You know how complex women are”

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

Pretty much anything Norm said when he entered the bar. A handy reference for all of his entrance lines (and all other things Cheers-related) is the Cheers board game. Loads of fun.

Well, shut my mouth. It’s also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.

TennHippie: Just heard this on WNCW and yes, spit my coffee:
“Void where prohibited. We do.”*

98 Rock in Baltimore (don’t know the call letters) used to use this slogan:

“We’re the station that doesn’t suck!”

Odo: Madam, I am not like you! Every sixteen hours I turn into a liquid!
Lwaxana: I can swim.
-“The Forsaken”, DS9

105.5 WDHA, Jersey’s Own Rock Radio

Slogan on their t-shirts: “Disco still sucks.”

2 from the British TV show Chef:

Gareth’s wife, Janet has just left him.

Everton visits, to try to comfort Gareth.

Everton: ‘Women, eh? Can’t live with em…can’t even meet them, actually…’

Gareth convinces Janet to meet him, so he can try to convince her to come back. She hands him her solicitor’s blueprint for the divorce settlement. Everything’s split 50/50.

Gareth: ‘I’m surprised you didn’t ask for one of my …’

Janet: ‘If they were of any use to me, Gareth, I would have.’

Sorry, just watched that episode, and those lines stuck. :slight_smile:

‘They couldn’t hit an Elephant from this dist…!’

Last words of General John Sedgwick

Comedy Central’s tag line a while ago:

We’ve upped our standards, now up yours!

Ad for fertilizer - “We’re better because we’re #2

Check out my new signature.

Some drink at the fountain of knowledge…others just gargle.

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who classify people into two types and those who do not.

Get your facts first…then you can distort 'em as much as you please.
– Mark Twain

Treat everyday like its your last day on earth…scream and cry and blubber like a baby while curled up underneath your desk.

I know that I have put you through hell, and I know that I have been one rough pecker. But from here on, you are all in my cool book.- Seth Gecko From Dusk Till Dawn

Tengu: another from Chef! –

Gareth, firing his restaurant’s supplier:

“I have just seen your bill! It is for the sort of money that rarely changes hands without the aid of a gun and a getaway car!”

(haven’t seen an episode in a LONG time, but that line always stuck with me. Wish I could say I “just watched” an episode :frowning: )

“East is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.” – Marx

Read “Sundials” in the new issue of Aboriginal Science Fiction.

Woody: “What’s going on, Mr. Peterson?”
Norm: “Woody, let’s talk about what’s going in Mr. Peterson.”

One of the best.

Then he said, “That is that.”
And then he was gone.
-Dr. Seuss, * The Cat in the Hat*

Judge in reply to long-winded Counsel’s argument
J: ‘Yes Counsel, thank you very much for your laborious argument, but i’m afraid i’m none the wiser.’
C: ‘I hadn’t expected Your Honour to be wiser, just better informed.’

Sam: “Hey Norm, what’s up ?”
Norm “My nipples man, it’s freezing out there !”



“You know how complex women are”

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

Norm: It’s a dog eat dog world out there and I am wearing milk bone underwear.

I love Norm’s lines.


I used to hang around on, and once a woman said she’d like to have a man like the hero; that is, a reflective man.

To which someone replied “Wow. Most women are happy with a mirror on the ceiling.”