Eleanor Rigby
“My Name is Mud” by Primus. The music complements the lyric to form a very pathetic figure.
Kaspar Hauser. Elanor Rigby. D’oh! Good call. How’d I miss that?
Okay – another “good” loser song is Boyz II Men’s End Of The Road. I mean-- this is taken a little out of sequence, but – it’s about a guy whose wife/girlfriend cheats on him repeatedly, he knows but never does anything about it, she finally leaves his wimpy ass without saying goodbye – and he’s begging for her forgiveness! What a waste of a baritone voice.
Your Father and I by The Beautiful South, a duet where a husband and wife explain to their child the circumstances of her conception and birth. Their accounts differ. Considerably. From the mother:
Long, Long Time
“I’ve done everything I know to try and make you mine
and I think it’s going to hurt me for a long, long time.”
Can’t get too much more pathetic than “living in the memory of a love that never was.” I don’t know who wrote it, but Linda Ronstadt sang the hell out of it.
The Most Beautiful Girl
( Charlie Rich )
Tell her, “I’m sorry.”
Tell her, “I need my baby.”
Oh… Won’t you tell her that I love her
Particularly if you hear it as being sung by George Constanza.
And then there’s http://users.cis.net/sammy/charln.htm
Pathetic on so many levels.
Seconded.
Probably the most pathetic song I ever heard was an old country tune called Queen of the House. (Same tune as King of the Road.) But country has so many that maybe it should be disqualified on principle.
I would consider “Eleanor Rigby” more of a dreary and depressing story as opposed to pathetic. However, that being the case I’ll mention
Paul Revere and the Raiders’ "Ballad of A Useless Man"
"All I got is 30 cents, gotta buy me a bottle of wine,
it’ll take my mind off the food I need but it’ll make me think about dyin’
Funny thing is, that song is not some minor-key dirge. It has a snappy beat and yes it is good to dance to Mr Clark. 
Anyone ever hear this song? It is really quite good.
It Must Be Him, Vicki Carr. I was turned on to this one by Dave Barry’s Book of Bad Songs.
Sample lyric:
I tell myself don’t be a chump
Who cares, let him stay away
That’s when the phone rings and I jump
And as I grab the phone I pray
Let it please be him, oh dear God
It must be him or I shall die
Or I shall die
Oh hello, hello my dear God
It must be him but it’s not him
And then I die
That’s when I die
Every time I hear this song I giggle madly throughout.
“Lovefool” by the Cardigans where the chorus includes nice, upbeat chorus lyrics like:
Love me, love me
Pretend that you love me
Leave me, leave me
Just say that you need me
which is pretty darn pathetic.
Or “So In Love,” written by Cole Porter,
So taunt me, and hurt me,
Decieve me, desert me,
I disagree. The titular character of the song might seem pathetic at the beginning but he quickly crosses the line into creepy and menacing.
A lot of characters in Bruce Springsteen’s songs might be considered pathetic. His Nebraska album seems to be full of them (e.g., “Atlantic City”).
Also, the couple in “Brick” by Ben Folds Five are pretty pathetic.
“Running Scared” by Roy Orbison
I think it’s a great song by one of the all time great artists. But not a lot of confidence.
Just runnin’ scared each place we go
So afraid that he might show
Yeah, runnin’ scared, what would I do
If he came back and wanted you
Hello In There , by John Prine
“We had an apartment in the city,
Me and Loretta liked living there.
Well, it’d been years since the kids had grown,
A life of their own left us alone.
John and Linda live in Omaha,
And Joe is somewhere on the road.
We lost Davy in the Korean war,
And I still don’t know what for, don’t matter anymore.”
Whew.
What about “Every Breath You Take” by the Police?
How about other Police songs:
“Roxanne” is a love song about a prostitute.
“Don’t Stand so Close to Me” is about a teacher attracted to one of his students.
It’s obvious that Sting has issues.
I can’t, I can’t
I can’t stand losin’
I can’t, I can’t
I can’t stand losin’
I can’t, I can’t
I can’t stand losin’ you
Another early Police song which has lines about his exGF giving him all his records, but they are scratched, the brother is gonna kill him (he’s six feet ten), etc…
(In deference to Truck) “Missing” by Everything But The Girl - Which can only be defined as pathetic emptiness that leads to stalking somone who’s moved away
[quote]
[ul][li]I’m walking down your street again[]I miss you - like the deserts miss the rain[]I look up at your house and I can almost hear you shout down to me[]Can I confess I’ve been hanging around your old address?[]You’re long gone but I can’t move on[/ul][/li][/quote]
10cc’s Godley & Creme: ‘Cry’
[quote]
[ol][li]You don’t know how to ease my pain[]That’s the sound of my love dying[]It’s the sound of my tears falling Or is it the rain?[]You don’t know how to play the game and you cheat and you lie[]You make me want to CRY![/ol][/li][/quote]
Just makes the listener say, ‘Get a hanky and a life’
I was gonna mention “just about every Police song”. It’s almost harder to find songs by them that aren’t pathetic than those that are, especially if they tell a story.
I think the Smoking Pope’s Pretty Pathetic pretty much says it all. Even in the title.
That’s the one I was trying to think of. Whenever I hear I think LOSER!