Great wife or total pushover?

OK, here’s my question. I’m a doting wife. Not a wimp or a pushover, but I love making my husband happy (as he does for me). A prime example is today: He is home sick (quite sick) with the flu or something. So I got him all set up in front of the TV, all the remotes, made him breakfast. Went to the store and got medicine, soft tissues, Orange juice, and stuff to make chicken soup. Came home, fixed above mentioned soup, fixed Theraflu. Rubbed his head and said “awwww…poor baby!” a few times (I guess that makes him feel better…)Etc, etc, etc…
This is not uncommon in our household. He’s spoiled completely. I love it…he loves it…

He was relating a story like this to some coworkers once (this is pretty much the routine whenever he’s sick) and they all said I was a sucker and a pushover because I spoil him so much. I just enjoy making him happy and I think they’re jealous. Opinions? Pushover or wife of the year?
(PS- this is meant to be lighthearted…don’t get all serious on me here…)

Some mornings it just doesn’t seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.

< In my best Ru Pual voice > Well, honey, what has he done for you lately?

< Snap, snap >

You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.

Actually that’s a damned good question…lets see…

He frequently tells me he loves me and that I’m beautiful

He works like a dog and gives me the money

He doesn’t bug me when I want to do stuff with my sister or my friends.

He pretty much buys me whatever I want

He got me tickets to the Miami/Buffalo game in November that he knew I wanted.

He tells me I sing great (I don’t)
Etc, etc, etc…

Why, Zette, if everything you’ve said here is true, you have what may be the perfect relationship, seeing as how it appears to be based on love and respect, and having the kindness and giving flow from that, in both directions. God, how I envy you.

Modest? You bet I’m modest! I am the queen of modesty!

Thanks Neuro- it is true… We’ve been together for 6 years now (I know that’s not a huge amount of time, but it’s just always been this way) and I love to spoil him. He loves it…he reciprocates. I’m not looking for approval from our friends, but many of them, upon learning of his spoiled lifestyle, act like I’m crazy. I disagree- we love to treat each other well, to the point of spoiling- I figure, what the hell. You only live once (and I almost lost him this year- see
Does anyone else do this? Am I all alone here?

Some mornings it just doesn’t seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.

My goal in life is to find someone to spoil.

I love making people happy, and if I’m with someone, then I’m going to do the best I can to enjoy life with them.

You GO, girl! < around the world snap >

You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.

It doesn’t sound like your a good wife to me. It sounds like you are a good HUMAN.

Life is too full of misery to take advantage of the joy you find. Where ever you can find it.

Sounds like you’re a perfect match. Who cares what anyone else thinks or says? Jealous? You bet they are! With any luck you’ll both feel the same way 75 years from now. Don’t let 'em poison your mind.

Some people know a lot more when you tell them something than when you ask them something.


I don’t think you’re a pushover at all. He’s a lucky man and so are you to have found each other. I’m sure you’ll have many happy years together and in the end, who cares what other people thought?



Too many fucking politically correct people would say otherwise.

I say, doing things for people I love makes me happy. Obviously you feel the same way.

Having things reciprocated makes me happy. Obviously you feel the same way.

Seems to me that you’re happy and he’s happy… So, what’s the problem again!

Yer pal,

I don’t think you’re a pushover. I know people who feel the way your friends do, but I’ve seen how they treat their men. They bark orders at them, make them buy them things, and always yell at then for no reason. They say it keeps them in line and from taking advantage of them, then wonder why they can’t keep a man.

Get this-I was dating someone years ago and one day he got the flu. I thought that was a good opportunity to show him how caring I am so I did what you did, Zette. I gave him his medicine, rubbed his temples, made him food, things like that. He was a little grouchy but I chalked that up to him being sick. Well, would you believe that he broke up with me after that because I “was being a pushover and let him treat me like dirt”? I couldn’t believe it! I told him I was trying to make him feel better and he said that he doesn’t want to be with a wussy…someone who lets people walk over them. Boy, did I let HIM have it! Never mind the fact that HE was being an ass…it was wrong of me to put up with it when he was sick! In truth, I don’t let people walk over me (and he knew it), but when someone isn’t feeling well I make allowances (to a point). He was the nicest person when he wasn’t sick. :::shrug:::

Sometimes life is so great you just gotta muss up your hair and quack like a duck!

Well, thanks for the good thoughts, all. I guess I must have done the right thing. He’s better today, and is crediting my homemade soup :slight_smile:
I know in my heart that we’re happy and love to spoil each other, but like MaryAnn said, there are people around who see that as a sign of weakness. Then again, those are probobly the same people who scream at their spouses and treat them like bad kids.
Why not take a day and spoil your signifigant other? Make a nice meal or give an unsolicited foot rub? (or some other “unsolicited” favor)

Some mornings it just doesn’t seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.

Zette - why not indeed? Sometimes it’s those little things we do for each other totally unsolicited that actually makes each others days worth it.

My SO and I don’t give equally all the time by any means - we both give all we can each and every time we can. And hey - it’s worked for us.


Zette, if all couples treated their SO in the manner that you guys treat each other and if they did as you suggest:

I would almost guarantee that there would be much less than half of all marriages ending in divorce.

My wife and I try to do things for each other and we too have a very happy relationship. My wife’s mom and sisters think she is letting me walk all over her, but we call it mutual love and respect. Of course, her mom is on her 4th husband and her sister that is married berates (sp) her husband as if he were an animal (he is not the greatest guy, but he is still human).

I guess what I am trying to say is, you have got to live with your spouse not those other people. Do what is right for the both of you.


Zette, don’t sweat the jerks. My wife and I have been in perpetual newlywed state for 4-1/2 years. Some people roll their eyes, some practically gag, and far too many ask me or my wife (obviously, not while we’re together) when we’re going to re-enter the real world, which to them, presumably, means looking out for one’s self, not for one’s spouse.

As long as the two of you are happy, stay the course and don’t care about people’s nasty comments. It’s pretty obvious you know something they don’t, and not vice versa.

Chaim Mattis Keller

“Sherlock Holmes once said that once you have eliminated the
impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be
the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible.
The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it that the merely improbable lacks.”
– Douglas Adams’s Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective

I think that it’s a sweet relationship, and something to aspire to. Keep it up, Zette!


To hell with all of them, Zette. If YOU don’t think you’re being taken advantage of, then you’re right.

I had much the same experience last week (hubby had the flu, I made him soup, etc.) I don’t think I was being taken advantage of, either. In fact, I felt empowered that I could do SOMETHING to make him feel better.

In my experience, people who think that nurturing their loved ones is a sign of weakness have problems with their relationships. Fortunately, most of my friends feel the same way. My mother doesn’t, although her theory of disease is that (1) all illness is psychosomatic in origin, and (2) don’t coddle people who are sick, it just encourages them. She’s hopeless.

The Cat In The Hat

Zette, I’m with you. I like being good to my man, and often that involves the very things I used to rag on my mother about when I was a teenager. As an adult, I see how easy these things are, and how happy & loved they make my M feel. Why not wait on him, take care of him when he’s sick, etc. when it makes both of you feel happy and loved? What could possibly be more important than that?

Zette, do what makes you guys happy. Everyone else can take a hike. PC, bah.

“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” - Humphrey Bogart

Poor Mr. Zette…he’s in for one CRUEL surprise when that baby comes along.

– Uke, proud father of two darling little Affection-Vampires