Dear Husband,

You had a night that was not very restful. I understand - that sucks. You have to do some work this weekend, too, which is about par for the course, but still also sucks.

I’m sorry you only got to sleep in until 10:00. I needed to get dressed so I could clean and go to the grocery store, and despite my efforts to be quiet, you woke up.

Once you were up and around, it was very selfish of me to ask that you keep our two year old out of the way while I took some time for myself to kick back and scrub cockroach shit out of the closet where we had one of theseliving. I’m glad that you didn’t have to actually play with your child or anything, and were able to mostly keep her out of my work area while still working on your laptop, with your headphones on.

I’m also really apologetic for asking that you let me wash a sippy cup containing milk of unknown age before we gave it to said two year old. Really, I feel guilty about that whole period of the afternoon, because it was totally uncalled for to ask you to supervise the children for an hour or two while I cooked dinner for you. Asking that you hand me that cup was just adding insult to injury. It’s no wonder you blew up at me when I stopped cooking so I could supervise the girls when they went into the study, which is full of chokable items and dangerous/delicate electronics. I should have realized that you were actually watching them from the living room. While working on your laptop with your headphones on.

I’m a bad wife. Sorry.

I wish you were MY wife…and I’m a GIRL, even! :slight_smile: Hope your day got better. You deserve a massage, some great supper, some fab drinks and some bad tv. Cheers!

I bet you didn’t come back with a goddamn sandwich!

No offense intended. For the unfamiliar, see Yahoo Answers Fails. Then come back with a goddamn sandwich.

OP, I think it was very good of you to type this public apology. You might want to add a thank you to your husband for purchasing a computer with internet access for the kitchen.

Unauthorized Cinnamon, let’s not be coy here, okay?

Unless and until you also apologize for ramming said sippy cup up his ass/dropping that goddam laptop from the bedroom window/adding select bits of Mr. Oriental Cockroach to his dinner, we/he’s not going to take your apology very seriously.

You can’t just cop to the easy stuff and expect forgiveness, all right? I think we need to hear another apology. Yup.

To be totally fair, he went to the grocery store and picked up the chili powder I needed on his way back from getting his hair cut, so I didn’t actually have to go and do that. And when his mom called with an emergency five minutes after he went into the study to watch the kids, he went over, but he took the kids with him.

He’s still acting kind of pissy though. I think he has premanstrual syndrome.

As a fellow Mom of small children, with a less than perfect husband, let me just say, “I hear you, sister!”

Tell him, not us.

But maybe not on a day when he’s pissy. :slight_smile:

I think she should tell him AND us, because otherwise how are we going to get any entertainment value out of it? And our entertainment is the most important thing here.

Besides which, this seems like a more useful way of venting some spleen than, say, depositing cockroach crap into your husband’s coffee cup, not that I am suggesting in any way that the OP would ever do, or ever consider doing, such a thing.

And we men are sorry we ever got talked (or fucked) into having children. Had you women not been so incredibly selfish about breeding these little hellions, we all would have been decently extinct long ago and not suffering these daily traumas.

Maybe owning a sippy cup isn’t for you.

This is why I’m single. If I ever find a man who does more work than he creates, I will consider coupling again. Prospects are bleak.

Sorry. That is all I can say. Not all men are that way, just most of us. Once again, my sincerest apologies.

Even the best of us are little more than apology generators. :stuck_out_tongue:

not so. Im just an ‘oops’ generator. difference is I admit when I fuck up and try to improve. I actually have a good track record for this

The opposite of that is a big reason I am single too. My father always told me, “The one sight a woman is most terrified of more than anything in the world is a man relaxing”. It is true. Women somehow create work just by being around which is why they are so stressed about it all the time. It is like a sick magic trick. I have always found it much easier to take care of the kids and the house by myself than to have a woman around splitting the chores because everything becomes that much harder and then you still get bitched out about it in private and public at the end. You wouldn’t think the math would work that way but it does.

Some comedian had a routine about this – that it was a matter of eyesight. Women can see dirt (like cockroach shit) where men see nothing at all.

For much of the first few months of our separation I had to tidy my wife’s place every time I went over. It was invariably dirty and I didn’t want my daughter living in Fruit Fly Central half her life. At one point I believe the litter box went at least a month without being cleaned, to the cat wasn’t all that well off, either.

Eventually it seems to have shamed her into trying to tidy up. So this ain’t necessarily a gender thing.

Terrified, pissed off because he’s sitting around doing nothing while you’re doing all the housework and childcare and working as much as he does, tomayto, potahto. :slight_smile: