[ul]
[li]“Wait a tick…this means I’m single again! Oh, BEHAVE!!!”[/li][li]“What a pisser!” (Airplane)[/li][li]“No one is to throw anything until I blow this whistle! Even…and I stress this…even if someone says Jehovah!” (Life of Brian)[/li][li]<song lyric> “And pray that there’s intelligent life somewhere out in space, 'cause there’s bugger-all down here on earth!” (Meaning of Life)[/li][li]Lawyer (waving large dildo): “Young lady, are you aware of the peGotta go to work now, back with more later! nile code in this state?” (Kentucky Fried Movie)[/li][li]“The tower, the tower! Rapunzel!!!” (Airplane)[/li][/ul]
“The fog is getting thicker.”
“And Leon is getting laaaarger!”
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
It reads, ‘Here may be found the last words of Joseph of
Aramathea. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the
Holy Grail in the Castle of uuggggggh’.
What?
‘… the Castle of uuggggggh’.
What is that?
He must have died while carving it.
Oh, come on!
Well, that’s what it says.
Look, if he was dying, he wouldn’t bother to carve
‘aaggggh’. He’d just say it!
Well, that’s what’s carved in the rock!
Perhaps he was dictating.
Oh, shut up.
Rushmore
Say, can you tell me where the pool is located? I might want to take a dip after I have dinner and hit the bar.
Caddyshack
People say, you know, that I’m an idiot or something, because all I do is cut lawns for a living.
People don’t say that about you, as far as you know.
Bill Warren: And I gave up analysis.
Hannah Warren: I heard that. Why did you quit?
Bill Warren: I went sane.
Outrageous Fortune
“Nine years of ballet, asshole!”
“You go, I’m busy bleedin’!”
“It’s a fuckin’ pencil!”
“Needledick, the Bug-Fucker.”
(riding in a taxi through a very very bad neighborhood)
“There’s a white guy! …Oh. They got him.”
(as Bette Midler “foofs”)
“What? Nothing for the nose?”
“You defiled a Christmas tree?” “No one saw!”
Hi all…
Office Space :
“You’ve been missing alot of work lately…”
"Well… I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it…
or the quote I like so much I’m going to hell for it…
“The Nazis had pieces of flair…that they made the Jews wear.”
I have just two words for you: Shut. The fuck. Up.
Beetle Juice:
Ah. Well… I attended Juilliard… I’m a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I’ve seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT… NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU’RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY… NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? You think I’m qualified?
“Who made that man a gunner?”
“I did, sir. He’s my cousin.”
“Who is he?”
“He’s an Asshole, sir.”
“I know that. What’s his name?”
“That is his name, sir. Asshole, Major Asshole.”
“And his cousin?”
“He’s an Asshole too, sir. Gunner’s Mate, First Class, Philip Asshole.”
“How many Assholes we got on this ship anyhow?”
“YO!”
“I knew it. I’m surrounded by Assholes. thunk Keep firing, Assholes!”
Old School:
"True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend… "
“You can use a little teeth but we don’t want to be a biter. Now ladies these carrots are not gonna ejaculate themselves. Get into it!”
“He left me with a little something called herpes. Which I then gave to the dog. But thats neither here nor there.”
“Please be honest with me. Tell me this is the first time this has ever happened.”
“Well, do you want me to be honest or do you want me to tell you this is the first time?”
“I’ll have what she’s having”
“And I think what we’ve got on our hands is a dead shark.”
“There’s no crying in baseball.”
“Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac…It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole!”
“I’ve heard of fighting out of your class but this guy is fighting out of his species”
[QUOTE=RealityChuck"E-mer-gen-cy. Everybody to get from street."QUOTE]
That’s one of my favorite movies ever! I had a friend who was a Russian linguist, and he said that dialogue was just as funny as the English!
“Whitaker Walt, tell me, is everybody crazy in this country?”
[QUOTE=want2know]
[ul][li]Lawyer (waving large dildo): “Young lady, are you aware of the peGotta go to work now, back with more later! nile code in this state?” (Kentucky Fried Movie)[/ul][/li][/QUOTE]
That’s one of the most interesting coding errors I’ve seen around here. 
**Jaws ** isn’t a comedy, but I always thought the line, “We’re gonna need a bigger boat.” was pretty funny.
“If you can’t sleep, it isn’t the coffee. It’s the bunk!”
“The District Attorney is a Republican.” (In context, it’s one of the funniest lines ever.)
“If Jesus can do anything, he could make a robot with a soul.” (No one’s going to get this one – it’s from a very obscure movie called Screen Door Jesus.
“This is for ladies only!”
“So is this, ma’am, but every now and again I have to run a little water through it.”