“I thought it was my grandmas douchebag but that’s in Iowa”
Sounds like Booger’s line from the original Revenge of the Nerds but you got it wrong – the douchebag is in Ohio, not Iowa.
“Yes, Your Honor, that is correct. This man has no dick.”
Ghostbusters.
“Nature, Mr. Allnut, is what we are put on Earth to rise above.”
Ghostbusters!
“Sure, we can take off as many inches as you want!”
The World According to Garp?
The African Queen.
“All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.”
Blade Runner.
“Never ever in my fucking life has anyone ever been as fucking rude to me as you.”
Blade Runner!
“How do you shoot the devil in the back? What if you miss?”
Touche. I think you are correct.
Dang, too late for Blade Runner.
“I did not achieve this position in life by having some snot-nosed punk leave my cheese out in the wind.”
The Usual Suspects
“Either I’m dead right, or I’m crazy.”
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off! 
I can’t get Priceguy’s quote, even when I cheat and look it up on IMdB. I did get RealityChuck’s, but since I had to cheat on that one too, I feel like it’s unethical to post it.
Yay, OneCentStamp!
“We’ve got Armadillos in our trousers. It’s really quite frightening.”
This Is Spinal Tap
“English, motherfucker! DO YOU SPEAK IT???”
This is Spinal Tap
“I guess I sort of went west, you know, the way of Horatio Alger, Davy Crockett, the Donner party…”
Pulp Fiction.
“One day a rain is gonna come and it’s gonna wash all the scum of the earth”
Pulp Fiction
“I thought I was dead, but it turned out I was in Nebraska.”
Taxi Driver?
“Ty Cobb wanted to come, but none of us could stand that sonofabitch while we were alive, so we told him to STICK IT!!!” 
That’s the one. What about “That rug really tied the room together.”? This one’s actually too easy but it belongs in a thread like this one.