You need lye and a corpse-sized pressure cooker. The process is called alkaline hydrolysis and is now used to dispose of medical cadavers and and animal cadavers. It may be coming to a funeral home near you. Story here.
Down the drain? Hell, let’s just flush them down the toilet…
No, thank you. Please scatter my ashes across the golden plains (or, preferrably across the land of greens/Ireland).
I read something like this in a book called “Stiff”. It talked about the very fascinating, benefitting ways one’s corpse could be disposed of when donated to science.
I’d do it. Hell, I’d have my body be made into a jewel or into an artificial reef or shot into space or donated to science. Or just bury me under a tree sans frivilous box for all I care. Why do people care so much about what how their body is disposed of after they’re done using it?
That’s not “green.” A truly green funeral would involve leaving the corpse outdoors and let the scavengers feed. The cycle of life continues. I’d like it if my body could feed some vultures or hyenas or something.
Being made into Soylent Green would be an even more green funeral.
My idea of a green funeral would start with donating every part that can be used to someone who needs it.
Then plant a nice tree on whatever’s left, give people some shade.
Reduce, reuse, recycle 
Well if you’re buried without a big wooden/lead box you are eaten by earthworms, insects and bacteria. Why should the bigger animals be any greener than the smaller? Limelight hogging vultures and hyenas.
In all seriousness, burial without coffin in a place that means something to me would be my preference, with QED’s sky burial option a close but rather unrealistic second (Ireland lacks vultures and hyenas, at least the non human kind).
I can attest that human soup is pretty nasty stuff, having come across it by accident once (story involving part time job as a grave digger and a lead lined coffin from long ago)
Well, hey, if you’re buried underground, then pretty much ONLY the worms, bugs and bacteria get a shot at you. But, above ground, they get you AND the larger scavenging carnivores get their share, too. It’s win-win!
You can do that. There are at least 2 “corpse farms” in the US that just lay bodies out in the open to rot for scientific study.
Well, actually you’re fenced in, so only the little critters can get at you.
Dump me in the middle of the ocean. Feed the crabs.
Sharks’ll get you first.
The guy sitting next to me on the bus today was telling his friend about how you could donate your corpse to polar bears, because apparently they are running out of food. He was really earnet about it too. It seems like it would be a cool way to go. If it were true.
Ahhh, but the crabs eat the shark poop. It’s a great big circle of life!
I just wanted to draw your attention to the recent possibility of being buried in
cardboard coffins.. All this talk about “dump me for the polar bears” is all very well, but not really a viable alternative.
Of course not, polar bears are becoming extinct. With the Ice cap melting, all the corpses in Canada can’t save them.
There’s still lots of black bears and wolverines though.
According to this cost calculator, the weight of 45/55% KOH solution needed is 23% of tissue weight.
So for a 200 pound man, you’d need about 23 pounds of pure solid KOH. That’s a lot of potassium to be dumping into a river.
Also, making potassium hydroxide is not the greenest of activities. These days, its produced by the electrolytic Chloralkali process. which not only uses a lot of electricity and fuel, but also produces stoichiometric amounts of chlorine gas.
Dude, I wanna hear that story. Can you describe the smell?
The company I work for has been making corrugated caskets for years but not for burial, they are used during cremation. The cardboard ones look kind of cool actually.
And after they’ve finished with the dead bodies, and developed a taste for human flesh in the process, where do you think they’ll be looking to get their next meal? The same goes for dumping bodies into the ocean for sharks.
Bob Smith of Manhatten, Kansas… the other white meat.