Greeting Cards for Inmates

[CalMeacham]

Finding it hard to express just the right sentiment to your loved one in prison? A Los Angeles company may have the answer. Attorney Terrye L. Cheathem noticed a market Hallmark wasn’t serving and founded Three Squares Greetings, which provides cards for inmates.

“With more than 2.5 million people incarcerated in the Unites States today, I saw that there was a tremendous need,” she said.

Some express simple good wishes: “We are all praying for you while you do your time.”

But most show a tougher sort of love.

A Christmas greeting partly reads: “You had the choice to be ‘naughty or nice.’ And you chose … Oh well, now you have to do your time.”

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20080326/D8VKQ4LG2.html

I had to post this, because I just KNOW that Dopers can come up with much better lines for “Sorry You’ve Been Incarcerated” cards than this.
Go to it.

[brujaja]

“In your hour of despair, may you find comfort in the fact that you are helping to keep Prison Industries robust on the stock market.”

[Baker]

Actually, I wouldn’t mind finding a line of greeting cards that were sensitive to what the inmate is experiencing. A member of our church has been sentenced to 32 months in prison, after the assistant district attorney, and the defense attorney both recommended probation. The judge didn’t abide by their decision. A lot of us were surprised. I bet his wife(who was in church yesterday, holding her head up) also needs some special greetings.

[lieu]

Congratulations on turning the Big 30

into 25 with good behavior.

[TroubleAgain]

Yeah, a line of cards that was actually sensitive and not snarky would be great. There are *some * good people “inside” for doing something really, really stupid, and outside their normal behaviors. Or people who did do something actually bad, but truly regret it (not just regret getting caught) and aren’t bad people, really.

[cher3]

[Miss Manners] I hope this isn’t a hijack, but why does there have to be a “line” of cards for everything? Buy an attractive blank card, and write in it what you want to say, using the pen you were presumably going to sign your name with.[/Miss Manners]

[YellowTail]

Front: Sorry Santa can’t come down your chimney this year.
Inside: But Bubba will go up your poop chute!

[matt_mcl]

@cher3

[Miss Manners] I hope this isn’t a hijack, but why does there have to be a “line” of cards for everything? Buy an attractive blank card, and write in it what you want to say, using the pen you were presumably going to sign your name with.[/Miss Manners]

I was coming in to say this.

[Annie]

Another line of pokey-appropriate greetingsThe pile of rocks card will be appreciated.

[Baker]

@cher3

[Miss Manners] I hope this isn’t a hijack, but why does there have to be a “line” of cards for everything? Buy an attractive blank card, and write in it what you want to say, using the pen you were presumably going to sign your name with.[/Miss Manners]

Because they may give me pointers on how to actually write my own notes and letters to someone who has been incarcerated. As I said, a guy in our church just got put away for 32 months. He’s a good guy who did something foolish, and a death resulted. I’m not going to elaborate, but he’s a nice guy and not a threat to society. The judge did not take the recommendation of both defense and prosecutor that he get probation, but sentenced him to hard time. I don’t know how to address what he’s going to be going through, so a card would be better than nothing, and I might learn something.

[Qadgop_the_Mercotan]

@Baker

got put away for 32 months. <<snip>>sentenced him to hard time.<<snip>>

I fully agree with your post, but I do want to point out that “hard time” is time in a Maximum Security prison (like the one I work in). Was he sent to a Max?

Otherwise, I see a place for these sorts of cards, too. It’s tough for folks to find the right words to say to loved ones in prison.

97% of folks in prison will not be dying in prison. They’ll return to families and communities, and need to be re-integrated to prevent further re-offending. Being able to communicate effectively with their friends and relatives is a good step in that direction.

And prison rape jokes get pretty damn old from my point of view.

[Will_Repair]

I’d write a note to you but it takes too long to finish a sentence.

[brujaja]

(good one, Will Repair, from a purely punological perspective.)

@brujaja

“In your hour of despair, may you find comfort in the fact that you are helping to keep Prison Industries robust on the stock market.”

For The Record, I would like to make it clear that I was not trying to be snarky at the expense of people in prison.

[radical politics] I was trying to be snarky about the fact that I think it is a very, very bad idea to have a lucrative financial incentive to put and keep people in prison. [/radical politics]

[Rick]

Front: Picture of a chain gang
inside: Sucks to be you

[atomicbadgerrace]

@Will Repair

I’d write a note to you but it takes too long to finish a sentence.

Damn it, you beat me! I was going to suggest:

Outside: “I was going to write something deep and profound, but I had trouble finishing my sentence…”
Inside: “…here’s hoping you have better luck with yours.”

[Baker]

@Qadgop the Mercotan

I fully agree with your post, but I do want to point out that “hard time” is time in a Maximum Security prison (like the one I work in). Was he sent to a Max?

I see your point about my turn of phrase. I’m not sure if he’s in a max, I just though that since it was more than a shorter city or county jail sentence it felt hard. May I email you with a couple of questions? The guy is roughly in my age bracket, it’s going to be hard on him. Although I understand that’s the point.

[kambuckta]

Front: It’s a long and difficult road you’ve travelled…

Back: And it’s friggin long and even more difficult journey for us to do the six hour round trip every friggin weekend to visit you mate.

[Ferret_Herder]

@Baker

Because they may give me pointers on how to actually write my own notes and letters to someone who has been incarcerated. As I said, a guy in our church just got put away for 32 months. He’s a good guy who did something foolish, and a death resulted. I’m not going to elaborate, but he’s a nice guy and not a threat to society. The judge did not take the recommendation of both defense and prosecutor that he get probation, but sentenced him to hard time. I don’t know how to address what he’s going to be going through, so a card would be better than nothing, and I might learn something.

Exactly. I’m normally in favor of writing your own sentiments, but I got a letter last week from a friend in prison and I’m having a hell of a time writing back. His particular crime wasn’t anything violent or awful, just really stupid and heavily contributed to by his unfortunate addiction to drugs, which he did kick after his arrest at least. So it’s not like I’m trying to figure out what to say to an evil person or anything, and still I find myself stuck for words.

[Boyo_Jim]

“Smoking a spliff, thinking of you”

[matt_mcl]

@Ferret Herder

Exactly. I’m normally in favor of writing your own sentiments, but I got a letter last week from a friend in prison and I’m having a hell of a time writing back. His particular crime wasn’t anything violent or awful, just really stupid and heavily contributed to by his unfortunate addiction to drugs, which he did kick after his arrest at least. So it’s not like I’m trying to figure out what to say to an evil person or anything, and still I find myself stuck for words.

Taking advice on letter-writing from the greeting card industries is like taking advice on cooking and presentation from a fast food restaurant. Assuming the person wants to hear from you, s/he doesn’t want to hear from the Hi-There Greeting Card Co., s/he wants to hear from you.