- Bring a laser pointer to your favorite produce area and help other shoppers by suggesting which watermelon, orange, zucchini, or other-what-have-you they should choose by shining your laser pointer on it. Be careful not to be seen.
Ten 2 liter bottles of soda. One frozen chicken.
Free bowling!
Frozen pizza Frisbee
(a far better use for the stuff, actually)
hmmm, for some reason, I actually prefer frozen pizza over most restaurants. Nothing beats Jack’s original cheese, with your own toppings added!!
Be careful not to be seen eating it.
Leave interesting notes in between boxes of cereal
My son (when he was about 10) and I would always play Secret Service for my wife. We’d talk into out collars describing where she was going and stake out the ends of the aisle. (We’d often hear what sounded like real coded security calls. We never knew if it was actually us they were worried about or not though.) When wifey tired of this, she’d send us on separate errands to find stuff she’d “forgotten”.
You’d probably get arrested for shining the light on genetically modified foods.
Make one pass through the store filling your cart.
Make a second pass through the store emptying your cart, leaving things in random locations.
Try to sneak stuff into other peoples’ carts without them noticing.
Bonus points if you can do this and have them blame it on their kids…
This is an assholish thing to do. An employee then has to take all that stuff you randomly placed and put them back where they belong.
Two women, standing side-by-side, taking turns picking up progressively larger cucumbers, saying “This one!”… No! THIS one!.. NO! THIS one!"
Extra points if they’re both dressed as nuns.
As you go through the store, pick up your favorite items and perform cheerful commercials for each of them, with hand flourishes and toothy smiles.
Putting random groceries in other people’s carts while they’re not looking never gets old.
Do all your grocery shopping from other people’s carts.
Assume the posture and tonal quality of a whiny teenager: “There’s nothing to eat in here!!!”
Sing appropriate jingles as you see certain products - wait, do products have jingles any more?? All that comes to mind right now is “Frosted Lucky Charms - they’re magically delicious!!”
Ask employees to direct you to embarrassing products, loudly. “Hey, where are the adult diapers??”
“What aisle has constipation meds??”
“Do you guys sell stuff for jock itch??”
Fill an entire grocery cart with about $300 of groceries and then go to the self check-out.
Assholes.
Oh I agree totally. I’m always getting on my wife’s case because she will decide she doesn’t want something and will just drop it somewhere and I tell her “That’s not where you found it!” And she works in retail! You’d think she’d know better.
Fill an entire grocery cart with produce, then go to the self checkout.
Assholes.