At work this week, someone mentioned their friend had adopted his brides’ surname when they got married. Apparently, he really hated his birth name and thought hers would be better. Do you know anyone who’s done this, and why? For that matter, ever know a newlywed couple that adopted a surname totally unrelated to either’s pre marriage surname?
An acquaintance of mine did this. His background was less than stellar and he thought ut would be a great opportunity to change it. So he is legally John Herlastname. But publicly they go by his last name. Yeah, I don’t get it either.
Two friends of mine combined their last names into one. I don’t want to share their last name, but it worked really well. Unfortunately, they got divorced and went back to their original names. Such a shame.
My niece’s husband took my niece’s last name. He said that he knew that it was important to my brother-in-law to continue his name, but my sister and BIL had 4 living daughters (and a set of girl twins that died).
StG
I know a small handful of couples that adopted the bride’s surname. I know more who combined the two last names or created a whole new name for the new family.
I was talking with my wife that my daughter should do this, just last week. The best part is I got quite a bit of time to convince her to keep the family name going.
The Japanese call this yoshi. In Japan it is usually done to carry on a family name that would otherwise die out. Example: Prospective husband is the 2nd of two boys (& older brother has already married/reproduced). Prospective wife is one of 2 girls…so if she takes prospective husband’s surname, her family name will not continue.
Solution: Yoshi. He takes her family name so it lives on
I’ve known 2 guys who did this. One was half-Japanese and half-Polish (mom was Japanese and dad was Polish, so he was tall and skinny like dad and had Polish last name but Asian features). He got tired of having to spell his last name to everyone and explain to strangers why his appearance didn’t match his last name. Sadly, the marriage didn’t last, and he went back to his birth name and has continued to confuse people.
The other? Well, he’s an egalitarian-minded guy, and I don’t know the story for sure, but I think he just didn’t see why his wife should take his name rather than vice versa.
I know:
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1 couple who created a new name from a piece of literature they both loved
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1 couple who got pissed off (rightfully so!) at his parents after 15ish years of marriage and switched last names of themselves and their three children, thus killing off his very unusual family name. (deservedly, I promise you!)
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Several couples who hyphenated
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1 couple where the guy just hated his super-common name (Smith) and chose her less common one.
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1 couple who broke up over her refusal to take his name.
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1 couple where the guy took her historic and prestigious name for the sake of his children.
My sister and her husband chose a totally unrelated last name for themselves.
I just know one couple who hyphenated their names and both use Hername-Hisname now.
Actor Jim True-Frost of The Wire was born James True and changed his name when he married Cora Frost. I just think True-Frost is a cool sounding name.
There’s the recent former mayor of Los Angeles, Antonio Villaraigosa, né Villar, and his late wife Corina Villaraigosa, née Raigosa.
That was really nice of him.
I don’t know anyone who has done it yet but one of my classmates said that when she and her girlfriend get married they’re going to combine their names into a new name.
I know several Spanish families whose lastname has a dash separating/joining what had previously been two lastnames. In every case, the origin is that at some point in the 19th or very-early-20th the second lastname would have disappeared altogether (no known cousins left) or gotten lost down the female line when it happened to be the name of the business (if you own a chain of boutiques called Chez Myfamily, you want the family to keep having that lastname so people will know the stores have been inherited, not sold).
I took my wife’s name in Chinese. It was on my ID card, drivers license, apartment purchase, etc. I still use it occasionally, but have learned for anything official to use my English passport name.
I didn’t change my birth name in English.
Don’t know anyone personally, but have heard of celebrities (some mentioned already) like Jack White.
I know quite a few people who’ve chosen a new last name when the married - including two (unconnected) guys who kept the new name after divorcing.
I only found out one friend had changed his name a few weeks back, but another was a bit more obvious, being a guy with an identical twin… with a different surname.
I offered, but my wife refused. She would have prefered separate names, but took my name as a concession to prevent me using hers. I don’t actually understand her objection. But based on my experience with people in general, if I’d tried to force an explanation out of her I probably still wouldn’t understand it.
Two sons from a large family in my family tree took the surnames of their wives. I assume it is because they have a long surname that probably invites teasing.
A friend of mine and her husband did just this for that very reason (she’s one of three sisters; her husband, I believe has at least two brothers and no sisters). Their three-year old goes by her last name too.