We did this, more or less - my wife and I both kept out last names, the kid got my last name (we decided as a compromise - kid would take my last name, would be taught her ancestral language as well as English).
In Cameroon, married Peace Corps couples would sometimes have a tough time when they entered their community because sharing a last name in some areas is associated with siblings, not spouses.
In Cameroon, married Peace Corps couples would sometimes have a tough time when they entered their community because sharing a last name in some areas is associated with siblings, not spouses.
No, it doesn’t. Husband and I have been a “unit” composed of two people with different surnames for going on 24 years, and it’s working out just fine, thanks. Sorry if it takes you longer to say that you’re coming to dinner at our house (yet for some reason don’t know us well enough to use our first names).
This strikes me as the same general sort of logic behind “Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.”
Nah, when people refer to us as a unit (let’s say I’m Ms Smith and he’s Mr. Ward) they just say “the Smith-Ward’s” (especially since our kids are hyphenated, using both our last names). So they’d say “we’re going over to the Smith-Ward’s house tonight”
I understand why you agreed. I don’t understand why he asked.
Regarding celebrities, there’s also the actor Aaron Johnsonand the artist/director Sam Taylor-Wood, who married and became Aaron and Sam Taylor-Johnson.
For something vaguely like this reason, I use my husband’s surname socially – also because I belong to a couple of cultures where this is by far the norm, and it would confuse people if I did not.
However, neither my workplace nor the U.S. Government needs a unique name for this unit, and hence I have not taken his name legally. (I also have other reasons, like the fact that I like my name, I like the history behind it, and I have published papers under my name.)
Are you talking about Joe and Susan Kokinballs?
China and Korea, to name two countries, have been doing just fine for thousands of years without requiring one spouse to take the other’s surname upon marriage. Married folks there even have children and the lack of a “unit” surname doesn’t appear to be a problem either.
In a closer place, a lot of Latin American countries (if not all) also don’t have the “change the surname” as tradition. Closer even, doesn’t Quebec also has a “no change in surname” tradition?
Here in Sweden it is not unknown for a Groom to take Bride’s surname if he has something spectacularly boring, like Svensson. I know of people in the UK that have done the “mixing them both into one” thing.
I didn’t realise until this week that the people in my department (who’ve met him a number of times over the past few years) assumed my spouse was Mr Boods.
While telling this story to a friend of about 25 years, she then asked, 'What IS his surname, by the way?
Come to think of it, I’m not sure my mom knows, either.
So due to a bit of absent-mindedness on my part, loads of people think he’s either taken my name, or that my name is his name. Or something like that. Anyway, I’ve got the Bingo song stuck in my head now. Fab.
I’ve known a man who used to be (vaguely) Newman (and short and skinny) and them become (vaguely) Chiefman. Oh yes. He heard a lot about it.
I’ve heard of guys taking their wives’ last names, but don’t know of anyone personally who did.
My sister hyphenated her last name with her husband’s for awhile, but found it cumbersome and later went back to her birth name. My wife’s sister-in-law had a similar experience. When my girlfriend and I became engaged, we discussed that. I told her I’d be honored and pleased for her to take my last name, but that of course it was her decision. She soon did choose to take my last name, using her maiden name as her middle name (she’d never carried for the middle name she got at birth), and has never since expressed any regret.
I knew a couple who hyphenated their last names after they married and both used the hyphenated last name. This was in the mid-80s and was just becoming a more common practice. The names sounded fine together (not that it particularly matters) and it was a little unusual at the time, but no big deal. But, I do remember thinking what was going to happen if their daughter, who also had the hyphenated last name, married someone with a hyphenated last name and they decided to hyphenate their already-hyphenated names. Sarah Smith-Jones-Brown-Watson is going to get tricky when filling out forms with limited spaces.
I’m with you. As someone (I wish I knew who) said on NPR years ago: “Why on earth would you change your name because of a wedding? You’re getting married, not joining a witness protection program!”
Isn’t it great that people can decide for themselves what they want to do with their names after they get married? In other words I’m starting to sense a bit of judging of other people’s choices, which is uncalled for.