Guilt Trips and Bosses (and other annoying people)

Ah, the “Guilt Trip”. You know, the not-so-subtle technique to try to squeeze something “extra” out of you, by trying to make you feel guilty about it. I HATE it when people do this, especially bosses. (I hasten to add, I did search for a bit for a topic simular to this before I posted, I couldn’t find anything. I hope this is the right place for this topic!)

I have some bosses who are overwhelmed by their duties, and to add to this, are disorganized flakes. I feel sympathy for them up to a point. Their job is no picnic. However, I feel only so much pity and sympathy for people who cannot get their shit together, and then try to make their employees feel guilty because they find themselves in a bind.

Something just happened to me today with my job, and it annoyed the hell out of me. My boss asked me to work on my day off. I was hesitant, and said I’d think about it. She said she’d call back later to ask me again, and give me some other important informtion that she needed to tell me. Anyway, she NEVER called back. I waited all the next day, never called. I had half-figured that I might work a half day, but when I didn’t hear from her, I figured that she found someone else to work that day. I made plans for my weekend.

Then I get a call today, on MY DAY OFF, asking me if I can work today. The boss merely says “We didn’t catch up with each other earlier” in regards to not calling me before. (This is her code word for “I was a flake and didn’t bother to call you when I said I would.”) When she asks me if I will work I say, No! I had figured that she found someone else - I never heard from her, after all. She accepts this. (I give her credit for that.)

But shortly after that I learn that another supervisor, currently miserable with the flu, is having to work today instead of me. I feel bad - I mean, the woman is miserable with the flu, and I know she was hoping that I’d work. But, I frickin’ would have worked (at least a half day) if I had been asked when I was supposed to be asked! What the HELL is wrong with these people?!? Why can’t they get their shit together?

And now I am sitting at home, thinking about that woman with the flu who is working today. And I do NOT feel all that guilty, but it bugs me - that at least some of this could have been prevented had that one boss been less of a disorganized flake!

Well, I have vented. I thought I’d share, and perhaps I’d be able to get a few stories from the rest of you on this same topic - The Old Guilt Trip, a specialty of some bosses.

You shouldn’t feel guilty! Your boss should have set something up with you and given you plenty of notice. Yes, it’s too bad that sick person worked but she could have said no too. Everyone makes choices.

Trying to guilt me into anything back-fires in the worst possible way; I’ll go out of my way to do the exact opposite of what they want. But I’m a bitch :wink:


Best!
Byz

Ah, guilt trips…too bad you can’t get frequent flyer miles with 'em. I’ve learned the hard way not to let someone else’s total inefficency and retardness try to make me feel guilty. Sticking up for yourself is such a wonderful experience. I give it two thumbs up!

My old boss arrived late, about 10 or 11am, then would leave about 1pm to teach aerobics to a bunch of seniors and then BITCH and Whine when I would leave on time at 5pm and she’s (insert whine)swamped. (she never bitched when my coworker left at four because my coworker would chew her head off. The coworker and I ran the company.)I got the
" You are not a teamplayer" a few times. (To which I would respond, “If this were a team, we’d be in the minors.”)

I learned to leave the office when she was on the phone and I never ever said goodbye. One day, after years of putting up with her whining, we had it out, and fortunately infront of her parents (the owners) and other coworkers. Witnesses are always good, when you are in the right.

She accused me of not helping her out in her time of need.(which hit every night at 5pm) I calmly pointed out that if she actually worked an 8 hour day straight through, every day, five days a week like the REST OF US, that her self induced crisis wouldn’t occur and this conversation would not take place. AND ( there is always and AND with me) it was like I was being penalized for doing my job right, on time by having to stay after to help her out. Thus delaying my hour long commute home because the traffic was worse after 530-630p. ( It now takes hubby a minimum of 1h45m to get home on most days, so he stays late to save the aggravation.)

She never bothered me again after that, but it took a few weeks for her feathers to unruffle.

some people are just excellent troublemakers. either brilliant when it comes to making other people do their job or telling other people how to do their job.
dont get me wrong, guidance to a better and easier way to do your job are good. but when a person who has been doing a job for 1 year starts arguing with a person who has been doing the job for 15 years, thats when things start to get silly.

ah…well, i dont really want to bother with a story. what i wanted to say was this:
ask me to do something now, accept the answer. give me a day to think about it, accept the answer. give me a week to think about it, accept the answer.
you should never have to give reasons for your answer. notice that im talking about something that you normally dont do. this is something you are asked to do, but it isnt your job.
and have you talked money yet? they should pay you more for doing something that isnt your job.

bj0rn