Sorry Stan, I’ve never worked at a retail establishment or a grocery store.
Do bring on your next frothing post though, you’re very entertaining even if you aren’t very bright or coordinated.
No, I don’t think they would. (Heck, my house was burglarized and I couldn’t even get them to come to the house. They told me to file a report & list of the missing property via email.)
Besides, the DNA test would only work if you already have a suspect to match against.
Fuck you and your bad breath Stan Shmenge.
Don’t worry, maybe you can get a job at Barnes & Noble.
I dunno, this is a guy who couldn’t manage the complex art of bagging groceries.
“Fuck you” and “Go fuck yourself” both violate the Pit’s language rule. Please do not use sexually explicit insults against other posters.
This also violates the board’s over all rule against wishing death on other posters. Don’t do this again, either.
No warnings issued.
This thread makes me want to kick ass.
Or chew bubblegum.
And, well…
I saw last week where a defendant blew a bubble and burst it in front of the judge. The judge then sentenced him for contempt and gave him 30 days. He can practice in jail if they allow gum. I’m not sure they would allow gum there as all the locks would be fubared.
Stan I’m sorry you are hurt but you have to put yourself in our place, it’s pretty funny imagining a wad of gum flipping a bike. Get well dude.
That was my semen.
It’s mint flavored. (So your girlfriend tells me. I just have to take it on faith.)
Stop a bike? My jizz could stop a truck!
Come on Shmenge, own up to it. You broke your carpal bone whacking off. The gum/bike accident is just a cover story.
Gotta say, though, it’s not every day you see such an impressive level of vitriol over a wad of gum.
I was a gum-chewin-poppin teeager. Double Bubble was my drug of choice.
My grandfather, who hated the habit with a passion, once told me; the only difference between a cow chewing its cud and me chewing gum was the thoughtful look on the face of the cow.
Yeah, grandpas tend to say stupid shit like that. I figure it’s a side effect of the alzheimers. Next time, when you leave the room, tell the nurse he needs his morphine drip adjusted.
Well, my right wrist and elbow have no mobility this morning, so off to the ER. 
Is that the same special hell for child molesters, and people who talk at the theatre?
Gum chewing/popping/chomping has got to be the lowest form of human activity that doesn’t involve sexual assault. Mindless and rude and just plain stupid. I hate the stuff and those that persist in using it. Don’t get me started on bubble gum.
If some fucking gum was able to throw your over the handlebars of your bike, then Im sorry, but you’re doing it wrong.
No, he said it was chewing gum. 
Here, I have some in purse, want a piece?
Dude, my dentist reccomended I chew gum as opposed to my Altoid addiction. He said it’s better for your teeth. I don’t chew it like a cow or snap it – not like a kid. Jesus. Nor do I throw it on the ground – actually, I swallow my gum. (Does anyone else?)
It depends. Usually I just swallow but if I see Stan coming I usually spit it right in front of his tire.