Gun Storage Etiquette Question

Great Debates
121

My emphasis added. Those two sentences don’t quite compute for me.

If they just regard the guns as furniture, why wouldn’t they ever touch them? You touch furniture, after all. And if they’re not afraid of guns and know about proper gun handling, then they wouldn’t be concerned about touching guns because they know how to do so safely.

On the other hand, if they were taught to regard guns are being more dangerous than furniture, then they’d be more cautious and then perhaps be less likely to touch them?

122

I think people who didn’t grow up around guns will have a very hard time understanding how it was for some of us who did. My father hunted, and always had a large assortment of guns from handguns to rifles to shotguns. They were never hidden, never really locked away, and never treated as something to be feared.

My sister and I grew up from a very early age seeing the deer and other animals that my father brought home from hunting trips side by side with the rifle or shotgun he used to kill them, and so we just always understood what a gun could be used for. We weren’t taught ‘these are bad or dangerous, so you cannot touch them.’ Hell, there are pictures of me at 2 years old sitting on the dead deer with the rifle across my lap. That was normal to us.

We were taught that the guns belonged to dad, and that as long as we asked, and were supervised, we would never be denied the opportunity to see them out of the case or to touch them. I grew up regarding them as no different than any other object that belonged to someone else - I could not touch it unless I had explicit permission.

Neither my sister nor I ever did attempt to play with any of the guns, and they were in plain sight our entire lives.

123

I think the “kids don’t misbehave” thing is what’s not computing. I played with Dad’s matches, looked at Dad’s playboys, drank Dad’s alcohol, and a lot of other posters here did the same thing. The idea that any kids won’t at some point get into mischief is so far out of my reality that it makes me think the posters saying it are delusional.

124

Again, no one is saying that kids aren’t taught to be safe around guns, or that it’s wrong to teach your kids to hunt, or to shoot, or whatever. Just that nothing in life is absolutely guaranteed, and kids do stupid shit all the time.

125

Both Guin and catsix make excellent points.

Yes, kids do stupid shit. But a common theme seems to be that the stupid shit is often forbidden. Forbidden fruit has a very special flavor. Dad’s porn, Dad’s booze, and Dad’s fire starters all fall into the ‘forbidden and therefore fascinating’ category. Been there, done that.

The OP is unfamiliar with guns and quite reasonably finds guns scary. Or at least, views them as a matter of serious concern. Her kids will have picked up on this from generalized cues throughout their lives, even if they were never lectured on the subject directly. And if the OP has ‘that talk’ with them (“If you ever find a gun at someone’s house, you had better…”) then the ante is raised. The kids will find them scary too-- but intriguing. I wouldn’t allow them unsupervised in my house either. (Most guns are locked, but not my bedside revolver.)

Catsix provides a different scenario-- one of familiarity. Guns were common items and were used for certain common activities. They were not secreted away, and were not forbidden. “As long as we asked… [we could] touch them”. Boring! We’re not playing ‘Dead Deer’ so we don’t associate guns with our play. We knew that, if we really did want to play “Dead Deer”, Dad would happily take us hunting. Otherwise guns had no special appeal.

Back when I had three young daughters who frequently engaged in sleepovers (all are grown and gone now) I kept the gun cabinet locked. My bedside revolver was in a locked drawer that I unlocked at bedtime and locked again in the morning. The keys went with me. Did I ever forget to lock the drawer? Probably. Might they have ‘discovered’ it one day? Possibly. But they had all handled it and several others under supervision. In fact I’d drag it out at times and actually require them to hold it (unloaded, of course) and show me how they knew it was unloaded. They were frankly bored with it. It had the same interest level for them as my old typewriter. (They all learned to type on computer keyboards with word processors. I still occasionally banged out a letter or two the old way.) I made them try that tool too. I’m sure not one of them ever touched it again.

One hundred percent safe? Probably not. But I was quite sure that if they ever chanced upon a gun at a friend’s house, it would be “Oh, just like Dad’s. Crap. Don’t you have something better to play with here?”. My wife and I were comfortable that the actual safety level attained was higher than would be reached by forbidding or frightening the kids.

The OP is certainly entitled to politely ask what safety arrangements are in place, and to decide if those are sufficient. Given her kid’s probable mindset, on his/her behalf I’d only be satisfied with “all guns are kept under lock and key, and I keep the key” as an answer. If it were my kids, well, my mileage would vary.

126

Which is why I’ve furnished my own kids with liquor, cigarettes, dope, and porn from a very young age. I don’t want them to have problems when they get older.

127

I’ve added up some totals, and made some speculation based on previous posts, and even I find the number of people who don’t lock their firearms to be surprisingly high. About the only things I don’t have secured are my carry piece (because that’s on my hip and hard for a kid or thief to get without my knowledge) and my hunting rifle (because I’ve not gotten around to it, the ammo is locked up, and the rest of the family is afraid of it - small people and .300 Win Mag don’t mix).

I do have the kids friends in and out of the house but have always locked my stuff up. A talented thief could get through my safes and cabinets fairly easily, but it’d slow them down and make some noise.

My sons (8 & 11) guns are the most securely locked because those are the ones I think they’d be most likely to mess with and/or show off. A 13 pound bolt action target rifle isn’t nearly as interesting as an M4, so the first can be in the locked wood/glass cabinet but the second is encased in steel.

Of course, if the neighbor parents ask, I’d confirm everything is put away and locked and the keys in my pocket before the munchkins come over.

As has been said before, it shouldn’t be a problem to ask. I can’t imagine anyone getting offended, especially when the things are on display, for crying out loud.

128

CannyDan said pretty much everything I’ve been trying to.
Forbidden fruit, for example, is what lead to my friends and I playing in traffic down on Route 8. The danger made it more exciting. The drivers would shake their fists at us, honk, etc, and we’d just laugh.

Kinda like people who do extreme sports, there’s just a little thrill out of doing something risky.

My dad’s cousin (well, I guess that makes him my cousin too), lost a finger tip playing with a firecracker. My dad taught my aunt and her friend how to use one to blow up a neighbor’s mailbox, when my aunt had a paper route and the woman wouldn’t pay what she owed.

And some kids are different, even having been raised in the same family. Take my sister and I. I was the trust-worthy one when I was little. When we lived above the funeral home, the main building was three stories, and the garage was one, creating a large roof you could walk out on. My dad built a nice little porch in the back. My mother would sit at the table crocheting while I’d be playing in my kiddie pool, or with my dolls. She was able to trust me if she had to run inside to answer the phone and what not.

My sister, on the other hand, who didn’t come along until after we moved out, was NOT someone who could be trusted to play out there. She was the type who would have to be leashed to keep her from climbing over that rail in a heartbeat.

I was the kid who would hold my mom’s hand and just follow her around when we went shopping. My sister was the one who ran off, who purposely climbed into displays. My mother had to get her one of those kid leashes (the wrist to wrist kind), and even then she got a little thrill out of wrapping it around displays.

Now, my sister wasn’t a bad kid. She was just a little troublemaker. Likewise, my cousin Josh was the type who just didn’t think. He was the of the afore-mentioned uncle who kept hunting rifles. My uncle had them locked up in a gun cabinet, because Josh would have been playing with them. He was the one who once took half a bottle of vitamins, figuring if one was good, a whole bottle would be better. He ended up having to have his stomach pumped. And he wasn’t and isn’t stupid. He just lacks common sense, and tends to be impulsive.

I’m not saying that kids are definitely going to do these things. Just that many of them DO, even knowing better. Who here amoung us has NEVER done anything dangerous, or forbidden, even knowing you weren’t supposed to?

129

My kid is grown and gone. So I can do what I want in my house.
Why do 3 year olds need sleepovers?
In this and a lot of other threads about “Safety”, why is there this impossible desire for 100% safety? Can’t be done. *:: Ask me about my murdered daughter and (my raped sister) and the need for home defense. ::: *
Miscellaneous points that scare me:
Military or police types who think I should not have weapons without their conditions and approval. (I am a vet.)
People who want me to give up my rights because they are scared of them.
The lack of quality parenting in general in the last 30 years.( I have no solutions)
People who think that any sacrifice is ok so that everyone survives. (Except the folks that die so they can continue to think that.)
People who rant about what I do with guns while they speed even once in a school zone.
People who think there is an acceptable restriction to prevent all accidents.
People who think they have a right to tell me who’s life is more precious then my own. I decide who I will defend to the death. *::: clue:: I will kill a 10 year old with malice of forethought if that is the only way to save myself. ::: Note: The most horrible decision a sane and moral soldier has to make is last resort time in dealing with a pack of ‘war torn’ 10-14 year olds. (most vicious and lacking in compassion of any group):: *
Juries who continue to give awards to people who’s children have defeated reasonable precautions and still managed to kill themselves. Yes Virgina, it is still happening. Or not , YMMV, I’m not going to spend the time finding ‘cites’ that no one will accept anyway, this is the SDMB, and after all, no minds will be changed by any argument.
I love living in the back woods of Arkansas, we are expected to shoot first and talk second. Keeps the tourist real polite it does… Bawahahaha

130

I hope you don’t believe anyone here is saying that. What mostly is the problem is complacency. (Spell?)