Hey, look over there! Next to Geraldo! Isn’t that the guy we almost ran over a few days ago? Dang, it’s a small world!
If you can get close enough, I think I can get him with the door…
What the Fuck ??? Geraldo ??
I’ll back the truck up now… meant to crash into the Jerry Springer Studio…
Tonight’s subject:
“My InterNet Geek Kid ran away with A bunch of Alcoholic Nymphomaniac Satan Worshippers than rape nuns !”
Coldfire
“You know how complex women are”
- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)
Hey! You watch it there, fella. I’m no Internet geek.
I Miss Him Sometimes:
Today I ran into Geraldo. So I backed up, and ran into him again. I miss him sometimes.
More tequila! Stat!
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
:::jumps onto the back of the ambulance, twitching and clutching his shotgun:::
Hey guys…don’t mind if I join your party, do ya? They just let me out of the state pen. It’s hell…all of the stories they say…well, they’re all true…damn soap slips too much…
:::inadvertently twitches:::
Can I have some…tequila?
:::jumps onto the back of the ambulance, twitching and clutching his shotgun:::
Hey guys…don’t mind if I join your party, do ya? They just let me out of the state pen. It’s hell…all of the stories they say…well, they’re all true…damn soap slips too much…
:::inadvertently twitches:::
Can I have some…tequila?
{QUOTE]:::Inadvertently twitches:::
[/QUOTE]
Causing a double post. Wow. Not a bad way to enter the fray.
Welcome aboard SunsetLighting. Since you just skipped from the slammer, maybe you can help us with those lousy screws next time they catch up to us. Ya know, show us how to hide the shivs and rasps during the body cavity searches.
Dopeler effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
- The truck passes a roadside sign that says "Your Thread is Headed toward the Big Five-Oh-Oh !*
Hey Chef, start flippin’ some beef already, I’m hungry like hell !
Although they say, a bottle of beer has the same nutrition value as two cheese sandwiches… mmmmm… choices choices…
Bud or Beef ?
Beef or Bud ?
Errrrmmmm…
click
gulp-gulp-gulp
Aaaaaahhhh… I’m gonna stop thinkin’ for a while now, my head hurts. Whoa, watch that bus with Japanese Tourists !!! AAAAARRRRGGGG too late…
CRASH
(Take it from here, Unc 
)
Coldfire
“You know how complex women are”
- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)
SOMEONE SAVE THE BEER!!!
leaps at flying beer keg - shielding it with body
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
Ask those tourists where we can get som saki…
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
snaps on the radio
"This just in-- After the bus containing their prime minister was run over by a beer truck, the nation of Japan, in an unprecedented move, has declared war on a ** corporation. ** The Budweiser building was carpet bombed today by Japanese F-16s, which were bought at a yard sale.
Negotiations are underway, but the diplomatic teams having gotten bogged down by the ‘Tastes great/Less filling’ debate.
This immortal question, once again posed to the Teeming Millions, is probably the cause of the explosion in a jail in North Dakota. Police suspect the Less Filling Republican Army. The LFRA is also being blamed for the destruction of a sound stage in Chicago.
However, conspiracy theorist Art Bell has returned from seclusion to proclaim that all these incidents are the work of a team of lunatics with an affections for beer trucks. He traces reports of this back to Tolendo, Ohio, and points out ritual animal mutilation of cats, deer, and moose.
Bell blames aliens, or perhaps a kickass party for the rash of–"
snaps off the radio
click
"A minor correction-- the incidents began in TOLEDO, Ohio, not Tolendo.
And now back to our Chumbawamba marathon."
click
Woo, hoo. No more crappy Bud products taking valuable shelf space from the good beers.
Now, anyone here ever played “kill-a-keg?”
Dopeler effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
< spit take > A Chumbawumba marathon?
I. Don’t. Think. So.
Time to do the world a public favor…to the radio station!
If nothing else, those bastards owe me for the tequila I just spitted up…
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
Sure. I’m gone for a few days and nobody misses me. Well, let me tell ya, the Canadian detox facilities ain’t nearly as nice as the ones in the U S of A.
After the deportation hearing and being declared persona non grata, they threw me on the first plane out. That happened to be headed to Chicago. Lucky me, I just happened to be strolling by when y’all trashed Springer’s set.
But now I’m back, and looking forward to some more alcohol poisoning. Pass be a beer, a shot, and a woman.
So let it be written. So let it be done.
ME, pass ME.
dammit
This just in:
The band of terrorists, party goers, whatever you want to call them, that has reeked havoc all over this country has now crashed into a radio station.
It is rumored that the group did not care much for the Chumbawumba Marathon that the station was playing. Sources say that it was also that they had not crashed any buildings lately.
When will this reign of terror be over. The president is considering two plans.
-
Call in the National Guard to stop this band of misfits.
-
To join them as he has not seen a good rolling party in ages.
We will keep you posted as news of this group …
::::: Crashing sound followed by several buses with beer cans flying. ::::
Took out another one eh?
Jeffery
Shhhhsshh. Does anyone else hear helicopters?
Dopeler effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
:::hops off of the ambulance, shivering as he hears the sounds of the helicopters:::
Damn it!..it’s all coming back to me now…the man’s out to get me. Damn the man!! They took me away because I kept lacing random things with explosives…I never thought those bastard Pokemon things would ever catch on…I really didn’t…
:::spits out a squirrel head, while tying his greasy black hair into a long ponytail:::
Damn foods got hard to swallow…anybody got some beer nuts? I haven’t had some of those since the Reagan administration…and pass some more tequila…no sparing the worm…
:::belches loudly and cackles:::
I’m ready to blow some stuff up.
::sighs wearily, having finally emerged from an . . . uncomfortable session with the judge::
I shoulda gone to med school.
-Melin