Could I forgive her? Absolutely. But any relationship would be over.
-
The relationship would be over because I couldn’t trust her any more. If she’ll tell a lie that big, what else could she do? Almost anything.
-
Forgiveness? Moot. She’s out of my life and needs to find it in her conscience or some higher power. Mine means nothing.
Forgiveness is easy.
What’s not so easy is recognizing that this kind of manipulation is not a one-time thing, it’s not something someone “gives up;” it’s an action born of looking at the world and the people in it in a certain way. A self-centered way. A dangerous way. It’s a character trait that some can accept but I cannot.
When HSHExGF made her final attempt to get back into my life, I told her about Mr. Scorpion and Mr. Frog and crossing the river and let that be my answer.
This would creep me out more than anything. She didn’t just lie in one instance to get something she wanted, she didn’t just act inconsiderately of her partner’s feelings, she faked an entire emotional upheaval for probably several months. It just seems especially sociopathic to me.
What he said.
That happened to a friend of mine. Why he didn’t dump her on the spot is beyond me.
I guess he was in W-U-V.
Good god no.
I could forgive a woman lying about lots of things but this is akin to pretending to have terminal cancer. It’s not a protect yourself lie like, “I didn’t sleep with him.”
I knew a girl who did this. Not to me, but to another guy. The same guy also dated Alanis Morrisette, so he had quite a range of girlfriends.
Anyway, the girl in question (fake pregnancy girl, not Morrisette) was a big time nutball. You’d have to be a manipulative, mendacious nutball to do something like that. I think a guy would be very, very stupid to trust someone who was capable of such horrible, malicious deception.
Not a guy, obviously, but who *would * stay in that relationship? Any number of far less egregious transgressions than that would be dealbreakers for me.
My husband’s ex wife, the Manipulative Bitch played this game, ad nauseum. My husband has always made it very clear that he didn’t want children of his own. First she was pregnant. Then she fell off her motorcycle and had a miscarriage. Then they split up and I was in the picture. My son was like 12 and I had decided I didn’t want any more children. I had my tubes tied. When she heard that, she announced that she had her tubes tied (thinking this would endear her to my husband and he’d take her back).
She remarried and has two children now. :dubious:
Since I’m such an impulsive person I would have the benefit of a couple years incarceration to get over her.
I like this idea…
"Honey, on a trip to Haiti before we met I did some… foolish things. Unfortunately I’ve picked up HIV, and some other bugs they don’t even have names for.
The good news is that they’re not HIGHLY communicable. The bad news is that they won’t even show up on test results for a couple of years.
So, no sex for you for the next couple of years."
Instant Bye Bye.
Doesn’t matter where or when. Relationship over. Then I move to secure my property, pets and other stuff against potential psycho retaliation.
I know someone who did something similar. She knew she was about to get her period and she and her new BF had plans for a weekend away. She had been somewhat heavy throughout HS and was now rail thin and very fair skinned (flight attendant). They got to their destination, ripped off their clothes as only impetuous young things can do and went at it. When they were finished, his penis was covered in blood. He said something about how she must have gotten her period. Instead of saying yes and taking a shower together or whatever, she launched into a long spiel about how she’d had cervical CA and this was the “residual”. Now, this guy didn’t know a lot about cervical CA and so was easily manipulated, but that’s not the point. That whole weekend, she bragged to me later, he treated her like a princess. “He couldn’t do enough for me.” It was glorious etc.
It made me sick. This is one fucked up person, anyway. I’d tell you who it was (it is not me, btw), but even I’m embarrassed to know her at all. She did not marry cervical CA dupe, she married her boss instead (more money). I was always kind of glad that cervical CA guy ended up giving her herpes. I’m not usually vindictive, but she is a piece of work. Someday I’ll tell you about her whole IVF treatment which she wanted to abort because she didn’t want twins…
Oh, hell no. I would never want to be a party to that kind of manipulation. In fact, I almost was — I wasn’t told the details at the time, but let me just give the guys in the thread a piece of advice: if she says it’s okay to have sex without a condom, that she’s on birth control now, don’t agree. It might be a manipulative lie. She might have secretly stopped taking her pills, so she’d get pregnant, to push you into proposing.
I wouldn’t have had a problem with marrying her before all that, or being a father, but my God, not now. Couldn’t she at least tell the truth? Does marriage not count unless I’m tricked into it? Is it not love, unless I’m somehow hunted down and captured, like I’m a cat to be lured into a pet carrier with a can of tuna?
(She later felt guilty and had an abortion. I didn’t find out about it until this had already happened.)
No way. I wouldn’t trust a woman like that again. Manipulation is not something you try once, and then give up on.
That happened to one of my friends. He didn’t propose, but does pay child support (she wouldn’t let him have the kid). He learned is lesson about condoms.
And the woman, I dare say, didn’t learn a thing about why manipulating people is wrong.
She later pulled the same stunt with two other fellows stupid enough to not wear a condom.
Yep. And that’s why most of the guys in here say they wouldn’t forgive shit like that. Manipulating people is a lifestyle, not a one-time thing.
How was she lying about being pregnant if she had a baby and the guy is paying child support?