I think so too. When I was younger, I heard a speaker once comment that “a male’s biggest fear in life is to be rejected by a woman he feels is attractive.” So far, haven’t seen any evidence disproving it.
I missed a lot just because I was finally happy getting any attention AT ALL from the opposite sex. So why would I risk what I just FINALLY got?
If you read my post above, you can see that we hung out a few times before we did anything nasty (plus we were coworkers for a few months as well). 
Of course, different strokes and all.
Yes, seconded. All girls should be as attractive as well.
I think the worst thing about missing signals is often you don’t even notice you’ve missed them. And then it’s too late usually. Personally, I tend not to miss signals, instead creating ones that aren’t there… That has problems of its own, but never anything serious for me so far at least.
At a certain point, it’s not worth the bother. Ignoring signals can be a tactful way of rejecting interest.
Great! My bf and I are about to celebrate 2 years together And yes, I asked him out.
By definition, if you’re attracted to them, they’re attractive.
So, XKCD told you about the tautology club huh?
Of course, her answer could be, “You’re like a brother to me and that’s really weird,” then immediately becomes very “busy” for the next couple of years. The solution isn’t always win-win.
And yes, it’s happened to me.
I found out over Christmas that a girl I was friends with as a teen thought we were dating. Being gay myself I found that odd. I’ve also realized a couple other times that a girl was into me. I just never notice because I’m not into them that way so it doesn’t cross my mind that they might be into me.
Oh gosh, I remember having a huge crush on this guy in high school who hadn’t come out yet. We used to hang out, watch movies, do the whole cuddly thing, and then I found he was gay and thus not interested. Our “relationship” didn’t really change and I actually ended up introducing him to his first b/f…go figure?
Actually, it is. Because you now know that she isn’t in to you - no more need to wonder.
That’s the whole point - rather than hours torturing yourself either way - you ask - you find out - and either way you know. And in the words of NBC, the more you know . . .
I really don’t get this. I mean, I get that you weren’t sure if she was romantically interested in you, but if you were romantically interested in her, why would you hire a stripper while she’s there? What the hell is up with that?
I’ve had several women send me what, according to this thread, are obvious cues, and then back way the hell off or actually get insulted when I ask them out.
I’ve had several women send me very mixed signals, and then get upset when I don’t ask them out.
I’ve had several women give me what they told me were obvious clues, but actually turned out to be either mixed or nearly unnoticeable.
I have never once had a woman give me clear signals and then follow up when asked out.
Now, I’m pretty sure women aren’t giving me any signals at all (besides nausea) so I don’t even bother looking.
I don’t know…
I had this female friend in college. All of my (male) friends told me she was “obviously” interested in me. Some of her (female) friends told me she was “obviously” interested in me.
So I asked her out.
She wasn’t interested in me.
So, I still don’t know…
I’ve only been through this once that I know of (maybe a dozen women have been “signaling” and I never noticed although now they’d have to talk to my wife) and here’s the super-short version:
Friend in college, we had work schedules where I’d get back to the dorms at midnight, just as she started her shift as door-ID-checker. So we’d hang out and talk, etc. Two years of this. Sometimes she was dating someone, sometimes I was… etc. I’m out of college and she calls me one day to say she’s (A) moving to the Chicago area and (B) doing so because she’s getting engaged. I jokingly say “Damn, there goes my chance with you” and she says “You know, I always wondered why you never asked me out.” She says that she was always waiting for me to make the move and would have – of course! – agreed.
Analysis:
(A) Timing. It seemed like one of us would be dating while the other wasn’t. Or recovering from a breakup where a move would seem predatory.
(B) Friend-Zone. After a while you’re such good friends that what could be flirting gets lost in the noise. Things like a long hug or sitting right next to someone on the couch when it’s just you two or resting a head on a shoulder become just those things male/female friends do so you don’t think “Whoah, she’s damn near sitting in my lap.”
© Inertia. After a year or two, you don’t expect things to change and ignore signs to that effect.
(D) Self-Esteem. She was really cute, perky and often had guys’ attention even though she didn’t date much casually. I wouldn’t have expected her to be interested in me romantically.
(E) Blind. I just don’t pick up on stuff.
Edit: I take it back. I’ve had TWO experiences like that, one in high school. Which was the same stuff (co-worker friends, etc). So add “Slow Learner” to my list. Thank God I’m married now.
This is a big one. At least for some guys at some points in our lives, the idea that a girl might like us is not on our radar. It’s something that happens to other people, not to us.
Oh yeah. In my younger years I was a bit of a proving ground for young ladies eager to test out their newfound flirting skills. After a few embarrasing incidents, a girl would pretty much have to crawl on my lap and lick my neck before I’d get the hint.
I’m much better at figuring it out now, but still a bit wary.
I can tell you exactly why I miss signals. Story time: Me, middle school, around age 12. I was known in school for being a nerd but for the most part the guys left me alone with my fellow nerd buddies. I never had a female friend and at the time couldn’t care less. One day the gym teacher is out so the whole class is goofing off. Naturally, boys on one side, girls on the other. My buddy tells me that the new French-exchange girl is totally starting at me. I glance over, sure enough, it’s undeniable. By nature, I quickly turn away. Over the next few minutes she continues making noises trying to get my attention. I make quick eye contact before turning away. Meanwhile I’m trying to rationalize what’s going on, maybe because she’s new here she doesn’t realize yet that I’m the class nerd and therefore not to be flirted with. The game continues until finally I decide to man up and look without turning away. This time she gives me a slow sultry wink. In the boldest move of my young life I grin, tilt my head and wink back. This is immediately followed by the entire pack of girls cackling like hyenas, pointing and laughing to murmers of “OMG that was SOOO MEAN!!!”.
To sum up- why are some guys oblivious regardless of blatant signals? Because no matter how much you mature and try to look at things rationally, you NEVER get over shit like that. It’s a defense mechanism pure and simple.
That was difficult to read. I’m sure I’ve blanked out similar memories.
I’ve been the recipient of some of the various signals listed in the other thread, only to later find out that, no, apparently there was no interest after all, just being friendly.
So now I don’t even try to read the signals now. Too many false positives.