Big Ol' Clues that you missed or that you sent and were missed

In My Humble Opinion
1

Inspired by many threads, and of course my life.

We frequently discuss ‘what did she mean by this’.

Looking back over my life, I can see times when a woman was really interested in me and I just never figured it out.

A long time ago, I was very unhappily semi-engaged to this very needy woman. I worked at a movie theatre and my co-workers did not really approve of my situation. (I didn’t really know how much they didn’t approve till they threw a party when I broke up with her)
Anyway, one of my coworkers was this very, VERY, hot girl. She was 20. She was really damn cute. One night I’m rubbing her shoulders because we’ve been moving some of the heavier stuff around the stock room and she is sore. She really enjoys this. She asked if I can do a full back rub. Although I have no training, I say yes and she volunteers to come to my apartment. When she is there she TAKES OFF HER SHIRT, with her back to me and lays down and I go to work. I never made a pass at her. I had no idea that wanted me to make a pass at her. Even when she put her shirt back on and lingered at the door when she was leaving, I had no clue she really wanted me to at least kiss her.

:smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack:
And that’s the one I actually figured out (and confirmed) later. There were probably others.

So, have you realized that someone was throwing themselves at you? Have you ever dropped a hint so big you thought it nobody could miss it and they did?

2

My friends tell me that it’s happened frequently, but I was so clueless, I missed them.

Of course, since I’m that clueless, I don;t know, even now, exactly what they were.
Pepper Mill is aware of this, and compensates by being blatantly obvious, since subtlety is clearly lost on me.

3

When I was a manager for a well-known and established fast food restaurant (no, not Ronnie & Co.) a girl I worked with on the closing shift had a walk of nearly two miles home. This was late at night. Granted, this is Boise, Idaho, not exactly the land of rapists and muggers lurking around every street corner, but we dostill have our share of shady characters, many of whom tend to hang out along the bike path that goes by the river, which she would have had to go over. For her safety I gave her rides home afterwards. One night she invited me in and we talked for a few minutes. While she didn’t exhibit any obvious signs of wanting sex, when I think back upon it, it would seem that this was what she may have had in mind. She was damn cute and good-looking (and of legal age, don’t worry) and I would have happily jumped at the chance to have a roll in the hay with her. If she was giving me any signs of wanting to do it I was not receptive to them. After talking and having a drink (non-alcholic, we just had soda) I went back home on my merry way.

As much fun as it might have been to get a lay from her, I know I would have regretted it, and working alongside her, knowing what we had done, having seen each other naked and all that, would have made for some really awkward moments at work.

4

Don’t feel bad. I have the distinction of being 34 years old with a very attractive wife and two beautiful children.I have also never asked a girl out in my life nor knowingly hit on one.

I am also clueless about the reciprocal part of that. I have had the back rub thing myself several times as well as girls telling me they were too tired and needed to sleep in my bed which we did in the literal sense but not in the figurative sense. There were many requests for special tutoring sessions in college which I gladly obliged and made them as capable as possible on their upcoming test and then went home. That is just the overall picture and it gets worse from there with the details.

My wife managed to convince that something was up when I left my dorm room unlocked one night. I woke up with her sitting on my bed laying across me. I thought that was cool. I had met her once before and she was definitely hot. I didn’t mind her laying across me for that reason and I figured we could find something good to talk about. She eventually just threw herself on me and we started making out although I was sick as a dog. Over the next week, I tried to figure out if she might like me well enough for me to ask her to a college football game. I was really nervous until she said yes and even then I wasn’t sure of myself.

Even today, I have a huge number of female friends including some really hot ones. I am convinced it is because of this trait so it isn’t all bad. I just don’t think the way a typical player does and they can sense that.

5

I tell people I’m utterly clueless when it comes to interpreting signals directed my way, and people don’t believe me. Until I tell them this story:

When I was a junior in college a girl from my high school moved into my dorm. We hadn’t been friends back then because I hated her friend Jodie. Jodie didn’t come to our college, so Sarah and I became friends. And she became friends with, and soon infatuated with, a boy named Adam.

Adam struck me as a dweeb, but she really liked him, so I tried to be polite to him. Even when he’d join me at breakfast before my 8am class. I’m not a morning person, at all, so I would have been happier eating alone, but he was Sarah’s friend so I put up with him. Occasionally feeling clever, I thought I’d try to put out feelers to see if he dug Sarah as much as she liked him and directed the conversation towards her on several occasions. He didn’t seem too interested in her, but I didn’t have the heart to tell her that. I kind of wondered if he even liked girls.

At least until he asked me to sleep with him. :eek: :smack:

He seemed rather disappointed when I told him no, and insisted that I had to realize he liked me. Nope. Never even occurred to me. Did I mention he’d crash breakfast a couple of times a week all semester?

And as you can see from this thread a couple of years ago, I’m still not getting a clear picture a lot of the time. Reading about body language and so forth is useless, because guys who “definitely” (according to those criteria) are interested often turn out to have girlfriends. sigh.

6

I share this on behalf of my husband.

After several months of very close friendship, it occurred to me that I was falling in love with him. I wrote him the standard e-mail one evening, but I finished it with, ‘‘And just so you know, you can’t expect to say and do all these wonderful and amazing things and not have me fall hopelessly for you.’’ Then I added. ‘‘I’m going to send this now. Really I am. Watch me.’’

And I counted to ten, and I sent it.

And I sent it, without even signing it.

And waited. Three days. He finally emails me back, a very upbeat and flattering letter filled with the usual ‘‘you are the coolest person ever’’ references… but completely ignored my profession of having fallen in love. He just remarked he was really looking forward to seeing me Monday, as if nothing was amiss.

Later we were talking (this is so junior high) on AIM, and he was like,

‘‘I can’t wait to see you Monday!!!’’
And I replied, ‘‘Me too! But I’m so nervous!’’
And he demanded to know how I could possibly be nervous.
And I said, ‘‘Because of what I wrote you’’
And he said… wait for it…

‘‘What did you mean by that?’’

Me: I don’t know how I could possibly make it more clear. I am falling in love with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

endless silence

Him: Oh, yes, yes. I feel the same way! I just wanted to make sure that’s what you really meant by your email.

The mind boggles.

7

Oh, these are pretty much the stories of my life. Except for the bits about actually hooking up of course. There have been a few times that it’s worked, but not recently. If women have been interested in me, I’ve generally not been aware of it, until someone else told me, far too late to do anything about it. :frowning:

8

“Mommas Got A Squeeze Box,” by The Who came out in 1975 when I was 28. A couple of years ago I was going down to one of the local casinos for breakfast when it came on the radio. Like a light turning on it dawned on me, “Hey, this song is about sex.”

Check out the lyrics below.
Mama’s got a squeeze box she wears on her chest,
and when Daddy comes home, he never gets no rest.

‘Cause she’s playin’ all night,
And the music’s alright.
Mama’s got a squeeze box,
Daddy never sleeps at night.[rest of song deleted by Moderator]

9

So it was YOU! YOU’RE the kind of guy I was trying to get with when I was a college freshman.**

Sigh…I’m really not proud of this, because the guy was a douche, but…

I was 18 and had literally no romantic experience, but I had a HUGE crush on a friend. We were in this college organization where we had a conference in downtown Chicago and got to stay at the Hilton, and one thing led to another, and I ended up back in his room, and we were being very flirty…so I crawled into bed. Just hoping for a makeout session. (Would’ve been my first. I’m so ashamed.) I was fully clothed, and he was too, pretty much. Then he turned off the lights and joined me, and…he went to sleep.

:smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack:

Yeah. He turned out to be a real creep though, so it was all for the best. Met my husband a month or so later. But man, I remember the next morning, doing the “walk of shame” back to my hotel room, everyone thinking we’d “done it,” and me giving everyone the Evil Glare Of Don’t-Even-Talk-To-Me-About-It.

**Except the douche part. I’m sure you’re not a douche; I mean no harm there.

10

My freshman year of college I quite inadvertently went on a date with one of my English professors.

OK, he wasn’t actually a professor; he was just an instructor. He was working on his doctorate in English, I think, so he was probably in his late twenties. I was 18, an incredibly naive, young 18.

What happened was he was applying for a job teaching English at a college level, and he was supposed to submit some of his students’ writing as part of his application. He asked me if I’d be comfortable doing that, and I said yes. I’d really enjoyed his class, and I was happy to help him by giving him copies of my essays. Only instead of meeting in his office, we met in a little café off campus, and we ended up talking for like three or four hours. Then he insisted on driving me home when he found out I’d taken the bus.

A couple months before that had happened, he had sent me an e-mail over winter break, asking me if I’d like to go to see Girl with the Pearl Earring in the theater with him. It didn’t strike me as weird at the time – I’d written a lot about interpreting visual art and we’d read a lot of Susan Sontag in class, so it sort of tied into the past conversations we’d had. We didn’t go, because I was three hours away on the other side of the state for winter break.

Two years later, when I had transferred to a different school and was a teensy bit more worldly, I was wondering what ever happened to him and if he got the job or not. So I looked him up on the Internet, saw he was still at the same university, and sent him an e-mail. No reply. So I started thinking about what happened and some conversations we’d had. He’d asked me to a movie, we’d gone out for coffee, we’d had some pretty good conversations, and he’d always commented when I had my haircut or was wearing a new scarf. Then it hit me.

I’d gone on a date with one of my teachers. The worst part of if it was that he was incredibly handsome, and if the same thing had happened now, I would have been a little bit more savvy.

If only there was some way to make it clear that the usual advances are completely wasted on me. Maybe some Wile E. Coyote signage is in order.

11

Probably 10 years ago I was a pizza delivery driver and I worked with this abso-frickin-lutely hot blonde girl named Jackie. I had the worst crush on her. I was also scared to death of asking girls out. I have always been pretty shy and on top of that I thought she had a boyfriend. She and I talked a lot at work and we seemed to have a lot in common and she was always really friendly to me.

At some point I actually got up the nerve to do something. I wrote a little poem for her. Then I folded up the paper and slipped it into her duffel bag that was in the back of the store and signed it, “A Secret Admirer.” Corny I know. But that was the limit of what I could manage. I was just too chicken shit to do anything else.

Well, a month later, one night I was out making a delivery, and I came back to the store and one of my friends said someone had called for me. I asked who and he said someone named Jackie. I said, “But I don’t know anyone named Jackie. 'Cept the girl who works here, but it couldnt possibly be her.” At first I really thought he was lying, but he kept insisting that someone named Jackie had called for me. Keep in mind he had no idea I had a crush on her anyway. Well eventually I just blew it off, because I could think of no reason in the world why Jackie would want to talk to ME, so it must have been either a wrong number or he was just playing around with me.

Fast forward about 3 years: No longer pizza delivery, and I run into Jackie and one of her friends at a fast food restaurant as me and my brother are leaving. I haven’t seen her in 2 years. As I get into the driver’s seat of my car, she and her friend are also exiting, and Jackie’s friend yells out something like, “JACKIE LOVES YOU!!!” or something like that, and Jackie gets all embarrassed and tries to shut her friend up. But even STILL I cannot conceive that she could possibly be interested in me.

It was probably another 3 years after that before it finally dawned on me that she probably liked me. Maybe even had a little crush on me.

And of course that probably ranks up there in the top 3 of the biggest regrets of my entire life. I would give almost anything to have a “do over” for that one.

12

Count me in amongst the clueless. Back in my college days when I had less belly and more hair (and no wife and kids, for that matter) I know I missed several opportunities to turn friendships with very attractive young women into relationships. Too bad they didn’t hit me with a clue-by-four, as I missed all their signals. I only want one do-over, though.

It was at a woods party. We had a sauna out near a pond where we’d build BIG bonfires, heat up rocks, have saunas, experiment with recreational pharmaceuticals, drink whisky, cook pigs, and play music. These were usually all-night parties.

Somebody had some friends visiting from a nearby city (our school was in a rural area) and brought them to the party. One of these people was an absolutely stunning brunette who went out of her way several times during the evening to make small talk with me, give me small compliments, and otherwise do everything short of scream “I’m interested in you. Come sit down with me and let’s get to know each other better!” She was a professional theatrical dancer - - Broadway stuff and some ballet - - and just seemed like a really nice person. What did I do? I kept stoking the fire, tossing rocks for saunas, and letting her attempts to make conversation just die.

Of course, I’ve a fine life and now with very few regrets, but I wonder occasionally if things would be different if I’d responded to her overtures…

13

Why haven’t any women posted to this thread about throwing clues that weren’t picked up upon?

14

I gave a woman flowers on Valentine’s Day and invited her to the opening of a play. A couple days later she asked if I could get a third ticket so she could bring a date.

15

Did you skip over mine? :stuck_out_tongue:

16

We were down to our underwear and making out heavily in bed when she asked, “you’re not gay?” :smack: :smack: :mad:

17

I had a crush on a boy in high school for a year and a half. I laughed at all his jokes. I pretended to love his favorite sports. I wormed my way into his circle of friends, which he didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he seemed to like me being around and considered himself a friend.

He never once asked me out.

The possiblity is there, however, that he got all the signals and chose not to respond.

18

I must have missed it.