Guys, trust me when I tell you, this isn't the right way to impress a date.
Man sets up fake knife attack to impress his date. Flowers really do work better.

When I was in the Navy, I was having dinner with a pilot from a foreign military where the male-female culture is different from the US. Apparently in his native land, it’s acceptable to ask “Do you want to see me naked?”

Or maybe that’s what he thought American women wanted to hear…

He never got a second chance with me. ick.

But a Fake Flower Attack is nowhere near as impressive!

There’s no such thing as a “fake” flower attack. You get attacked by flowers, you gonna come out smelling like a rose, or possibly a galdiola. It’s for real buds.

Because… what, they like a challenge? Or did they “decide” not to charge him because there was no crime?

No crime? He hired a guy to threaten someone with a knife. The fact that the assailant wasn’t “really” going to stab anyone is somewhat beside the point. He was pointing a knife at her, Mr. Hero saves the day, but she was still threatened, and that is a crime.

I would bet if the woman really wanted to press charges, against him and his knife guy, the cops may have gone further with it.

“Without thinking twice, Coots took off running to a cliff area nearby, where she had caught some rocks at the bottom …”

I"m having trouble deciphering the Arkansas patois here. I think they mean she stumbled on some rocks, right? Wanted: journalist. Job requirements: literacy, well, more-or-less.

Another example of why the correct course of action is to always take her out to dinner and then during dinner excuse yourself to go to the restroom and then sneak around behind her and whip your sack out and place it on the back of her neck. Chicks love this. Trust me.


I am embarrassed to admit that I had come up with almost the exact same plan (sans knife) to impress a girl I had a crush on.

Admittedly I was in fifth grade at the time. But still.

I read that as meaning, because he admitted it and didn’t lie to the police, the police weren’t going to pursue charges.

This made me laugh aloud - thanks for brightening an otherwise dreary Monday!

Most crimes have an intent element.

Did you intend to threaten this lady with a knife?

See also Menacing

Mine involved saving her from being beaten up by a bully.
I was 10 or so.

I feel… so ashamed.


From your own link:

If he never actually intended to harm her or to steal her money or jewelry or whatever, then you might not have the necessary intent for a crime.

He did not intend to harm her, he intended to threaten her.

This the law that prevents you from waving a knife around threatening people, and telling cops that you were “joking” and weren’t actually going to stab anyone.

Pray tell, is that how you got your username?

I guarantee you that at least one of her relatives (probably an aunt) will be telling her that she should really consider dating him again, because look how much trouble he went to just to impress you! And on top of that he’s so honest!

I wish that was a joke.

I was expecting the guy to get killed while “protecting” her. Now THAT would’ve impressed her (but it still wouldn’t have gotten him a second date).

Well, it was a lot of effort. Where all those texts him trying to furiously set this up at the last minute or back-&-forth: Are you here yet? How about now? When do I jump out?

He’s a good guy; it’s just that his friends are would-be knife-wielding rapists, but he is a good guy! :rolleyes: