Guys, trust me when I tell you, this isn't the right way to impress a date.

[Lynn_Bodoni]

“Looks like a penis. Only smaller.”

“I can see you have a thing for me, but why is it so small and misshapen?”

[kaylasdad99]

@Bricker

Wow.

I am embarrassed to admit that I had come up with almost the exact same plan (sans knife) to impress a girl I had a crush on.

Admittedly I was in fifth grade at the time. But still.

But Encyclopedia Brown figured out that if you had really been fighting that bully, the spectacles in your coat pocket would have been broken, right?

And so he got to keep his receptionist/bodyguard after all…

[kaylasdad99]

@Gagundathar

Mine involved saving her from being beaten up by a bully.
I was 10 or so.

I feel… so ashamed.

But Encyclopedia Brown figured out th–

Waitaminute, didn’t I just do this one?