If I were you I would tie her up in the bedroom and keep her there m8.
Girlfriend? Why should my Masculine Authority be confined to a hypothetical girlfriend? I hereby COMMAND all Doper women, by virtue of my Virtuous Shining Y chromosomes and Crotchtacular Scepter of Justice[sup]TM[/sup], to commence wearing nothing but thongs. Please post pictures. Exemptions will be granted upon application to those in Arctic and Antarctic Circles.
:wally
Wow. So many real issues to discuss here and virtually everyone missed.
Should one party to a relationship control what the other party wears (the “let” controversy)? Obviously very few people who read this board live where slavery is allowed, so I’ll skip past the idea that one person can actually force another to do anything and get to the idea that someone may tell their significant other, “I don’t want you to wear that.” I have been on the planet long enough to know that women tell men that ALL THE TIME! Part of the mating ritual is the female makeover of the male. Yet suggesting that a male might say the same to a female relegates him to “controlling asshole,” right? Vriggs’ opinion was right on point–he doesn’t try to “control” the woman in his life by saying, “You CAN’T wear that in public,” but quite validly says, “You aren’t the person I thought you were, and I don’t want to be with someone who would consider wearing that in public.” True, many are not nearly as eloquent, but it comes down to the same thing. And shouldn’t we all let our SOs know our values as soon in the relationship as possible?
The real question Ralph asked: “Should I feel jealousy when she wears something that we both know will draw lots of attention from other men?”
Let’s start with, “Should I feel jealousy?” Jealousy is rooted in insecurity, and with a girlfriend, certainly early in the relationship, insecurity is quite natural. We are hard-wired to defend a potential mate against all other competitors, but that’s the animal (base) instinct. Humans are capable of thought and therefore I have to applaud Ralph for moving past the base instinct to cognitive reasoning (too few ever do). The real source of the insecurity, though, is the reason WHY she wants to wear the thong: is she actually TRYING to attract attention, and if so, why? If she is wearing the thong to try and find a better boyfriend, yeah I would say that is cause for legitimate insecurity, hence the jealousy. If she is wearing it to please Ralph (not too likely, since he isn’t too sure he is pleased by such a public display), then it shouldn’t be causing any insecurity.
So now we have the REAL, real question: Why is she trying to attract attention? Maybe she is wearing it because she feels good about how she looks in a thong and it really feeds her ego. Maybe she is wearing it to see how Ralph reacts. Maybe she is wearing it to find a boyfriend who isn’t so insecure. Maybe she is wearing it to find another boyfriend, period. Maybe she is wearing it because she is an exhibitionist and the attention is a sexual turn-on. (I left out, “Maybe she is wearing it because it is more comfortable” because that proposition is so unsupportable as to be ridiculous. My wife swears they are more comfortable, but I notice they aren’t nearly as comfortable BEFORE she gets a tan.) Most likely it is a combination of several reasons, and Ralph really needs to ask THAT question of his girlfriend.
Finally, I must comment that in a mature, committed relationship this question would never come up. They both know before she leaves to go shopping what they both like and what they both expect. He already knows she isn’t doing anything to attract a new suitor, thong or no thong. In a mature, committed relationship he won’t be insecure, and therefore won’t be concerned with anything she chooses to wear (or not wear), but they will both know what the other expects and will want to meet those expectations.
Which leads me to the question Ralph DIDN’T ask: “Should couples dress to please each other?” I have to admit in our house this comes up a lot more often in discussions of whether or not she is going to cut her hair, and my opinion seems to cause a lot of controversy with the neighborhood wives. I think we should dress (and wear our hair) to please our spouse (or significant other). Anything less exhibits a selfishness that is counterproductive to the relationship. So I guess that makes me a controlling asshole, but so be it.
So Ralph, get to know your girlfriend better, and help her get to know you better. Figure out her motivation behind wearing the thong, and figure out your real feelings about it (beyond the instinctual reaction to fend off competitors). Discuss it at length with her, and then you will have learned a lot about whether this is a supportable relationship.
Good luck and please let us know how it all turns out!
I believe Lady Chance would only laugh at me if I ever tried to prevent her from wearing something.
And criticizing what she wears only leads to disaster.
She’s a big girl. She can wear what she wants.
My Evil Plan is working!
Soon the Universe will be mine - and there is nothing that Captain Testosterone can do to stop me!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA1
Regards,
Shodan the Merciless
If you don’t want your girlfriend to wear a G-string in public just tell her that if she wears hers, you’ll wear yours…
My GF could wear a monkey suit out if she wanted to…but the chances of that are about the same as her going to the beach and wearing a G-string. Bugger!
Actually, the gender is irrelevant. The concept of allowing or not allowing your partner to do something is stupid no matter which sex it is. I don’t mind my mate letting me know what his tastes are or if an outfit doesn’t look right on me. But neither of us would dream of putting ourselves in charge of the other’s wardrobe. The value of independence is more important to us than any clothes could be.
BTW, you chose a phrase (controlling asshole), put quotation marks around it as if someone had actually used it, and then defended yourself against being called such. What gives?
I agree with you that being honest about what we like and don’t like is a good idea, but a little tact and good timing never hurt anyone.
Weirddave, I am curious about why what your wife’s parents see you wearing is more important to her than your comfort? Who is she really trying to please – her parents or herself?
"The concept of allowing or not allowing your partner to do something is stupid no matter which sex it is. "
How far does this go? Is it stupid for a woman to tell her SO that he can’t go to a strip club? Kiss other women? Have sex with other women?
Whoosh! Re-read what i said i was gonna wear.
The woman i’m with does not need to show her ass to all. Exhibitionists are not on my menu, I do not get off watching guys stare f*ck the woman i’m with.
My ex wouldn’t have wanted to wear one anyway, but I’d have had no problem with it. Come to think of it, the only problem would be trying to drown out her squeals of laughter at the thought of *me *giving *her *fashion tips.
So, bojon, how do you think the woman you’re with would take to being told you wouldn’t allow her to wear an article of clothing?
You are with me, or you are using me to showcase your ass in public, with full knowledge that I will kick somebodies ass if they make an impolite remark.
ADDENDUM: You’re using me Bitch, Goodbye
Er? Using YOU to showcase HER ass in public?
I somehow doubt the OP meant “would you let your girlfriend wear a thong made from your own flesh”…
And what, prithee do tell, if someone said “Hey, you look nice in that”? Does that warrant “kick[ing] somebodies [sic] ass”?
I have been used in that fashion, I’m grown up now. And Prithee, an ass kicking would have happened if less than polite comments were said.
Again…Let? What a prick…
bojon, you might want to make sure you know what prithee means before you misuse it;)
Hey bojon, grow up. You can’t beat everyone, and you certainly cannot fight the group of lugs I shoulder with at times. Kicking someone’s ass over a silly comment indeed…You must be 12…hahaha…My son has some extra diapers and toys if you need them…just email and let me know…
If I didn’t think I could kick anyones ass, I would have said so. I realize I can’t, but I would try very hard. My point was that I would be not be with someone who used me…