Well there is that When Harry Met Sally debate that a guy always wants to sleep with his femmale friends but a little chemestry doesn’t hurt a friendship as long as you are mindful of the boundaries. If you go pining off for a relationship she has no interest is she is going to think you are pathetic.
Nope. I can’t be friends with women I’m attracted too. So no, I wouldn’t waste my time, because I’d just end up frustrated with the situation.
You called? 
Seriously, some people can handle it and some can’t. Even those who can’t handle it with some people might be able to handle it with others. Call me weird (and I know jeevmon will; it’s one of his favorite things to do these days, whether he does it out loud or not), but sometimes a person is special in such a way that I’m not willing to toss out the rest of the relationship, even if the romantic and/or physical attraction is one-sided.
This is also why I generally try to remain on friendly terms with exes. One ex, in fact, is often the first person I will call when I really want an honest opinion about any relationship issue. Sometimes the fact that we know each other so well is a huge advantage. Plus his wife is really cool. Of course, we broke up 15 years ago, which probably helps lend some ojectivity to the situation.
(And FTR, if he was talking about me, it’s not entirely one-sided, a matter for which I have a certain amount of empirical evidence. Whether it pans out in the end is another story, but hey, sometimes a girl’s gotta take her chances.).
And may I say that those of you who see no point in having a non-sexual, non-romantic relationship with a person of the opposite sex in general are really missing out? Just because your body parts were designed to fit into each other doesn’t mean you have to fit them at every possible opportunity. There are other ways to hang out.
Well, I don’t think anyone was suggesting that. The OP was asking about being friends with someone of the preferred sex to whom you are attracted. Which is different than just being friends.
(And, may I say Eva Luna, it sounds like you either know cowgirl’s ex or a close relative.)
Yes, one can never have too many friends. When we first met, I was really interested and would have liked to have been more than friends. Now our relationship is almost sibling like, I treat her like a sister and vica versa, and the idea of it changing to a romantic relationship seems odd. However I occasionally remind her that both sides of my family have roots in Arkansas, but so far all I get is a :rolleyes:.
Well, apparently there is indeed something about guys named Dave, at least in regard to my recent dating history. (Darn Old Testament!) I will note for the record, though, that my friend is currently single, and therefore (technically, at least) available. (Plus it hopefully means cowgirl and I aren’t talking about the same guy.) As for the rest, well, we’ll see how it turns out. Maybe I’m just too big a fan of delayed gratification for my own good, but I may well be willing to take a chance on this one.
It’s true that nobody has said outright in that thread that they don’t see the point I having friends of the opposite gender. Several have said that they find it too complicated and/or painful to have a non-romantic and/or non-sexual relationship with someone toward whom they feel romantic and/or sexual. Others have mentioned that well, they suppose they could handle the mixed feelings, but just didn’t see the point and/or didn’t think the endeavor was worthwhile. My mileage varies, as some of my best friends are exes. And you might be surprised if you knew how many mutual and/or one-sided attractions there have been among my close circle of friends. This kind of relationship may not be the societal norm, but hey, neither am I.