Phobias/fears are rarely logical, and the sufferers know this. E.g. someone scared of spiders will feel fear to a video of a spider, even though they absolutely know it won’t jump out of the screen. With paruresis, (and I can only speak for myself), the thoughts are more, “I wonder if the guy at sink thinks I’m weird for taking so long,” if anything like that. The other though is that the more I try(ed) to force it and the more I thought about it, the harder it becomes. For most people, nothing to do with homo/phobia/sexuality.
I don’t know what the psychology behind it is. For me, it has nothing to do with other people seeing my penis, or judging my urine flow, it is just awkwardly difficult to begin peeing with someone two feet away. I don’t know why, and it doesn’t occur all the time. If I mildly have to pee it might be an issue; if I urgently have to pee, not so much.
if I had to try to describe it as best I can, I guess it’s kind of a mental block about being that “exposed” with other people nearby. whether or not they could actually see anything is immaterial.
I used to have it really bad, where I wouldn’t be able to do it even if I was in a cubicle and it was open just a little bit. But of course, drinking helped the situation I never had a problem when I was drinking, I could easily whip it out and do it in a bush if there was no toilet around. I think that’s how I grew out of it, from being able to do it while tipsy.
I can pee in front of a large audience if I have to, but I prefer to pee in privacy. I’m pee shy but not to the point of physical inability to urinate.
I certainly hope, and in all honesty, expect, that a new thread is forthcoming regarding the same polling question as the OP, but targeting female respondents.
The sooner the better, IMHO, for a better, more equitable urinary world for all.
Same for me as Dr_Doom mentioned up thread, mostly I have no problems, but in very crowded situations with a queue I have had bouts of bashful bladder. Oh, and with those 4 place unenclosed portable urinals I ran across at festival events in Germany. Sure that was as much my sheltered American upbringing as anything. Just something weird about being face to face with another guy a couple feet apart while peeing.
Does this happen often (not for you, specifically, Modern Master, but to other men in general)? Other than the one time I’m about to mention, I don’t think I notice other guys staring at me. Either they are very stealthy or I’m just clueless.
Now, for the story: Before ordering my lunch at a local Wendy’s, I went to the restroom to take a piss. The layout of the restroom was odd to start. As you enter the door, you face a urinal with a very narrow wall (sort of like a bulk head wall) on its left and two sinks to its right, with no divider between the urinal and the sinks. Turning 90 degrees left (relative to the door as you walk in), there are two stalls. Turning 90 degrees right, the restroom wall with paper towel dispensers.
I walked up to the urinal and just after I unzipped and started to piss, a guy came out of one of the stalls to wash his hands at the sink. He muttered something, but I didn’t understand him, nor was I sure whether or not he was actually talking to me. But when I looked over at him (as I was pissing), he said “big dick,” and glanced down at me.
I didn’t know how to react at first, but eventually I said thanks and finished up. He must have seen my confusion because he pointed at the mirror. Apparently, he could see my penis perfectly in the mirror as he washed his hands.
Yeah, I get it. I think it’s just being a little bit tense that does it, rather than “shy.” Everything seems to flow pretty good if I’ve had a handful of beers or so, but sometimes even if I’m alone in a one-person crapshack, but kind of keyed up, takes a while to focus on draining the lizard. No, it’s not a prostate thing.
Usually take a stall if there’s two urinals and one’s empty – you can tell I don’t go to a lot of sports games or bars with the giant troughs in them anymore. Not shy about taking a dump though – grab a book, a stall, and let the magic happen.
When you know the urinal is one of those badly designed ones that splash so badly you’d think you were peeing directly on your leg. Course, I want to back up, out of range. But if there’s other guys in the bathroom…
…that’s when you hold it for later. Not really stage fright at the urinal, more like you walk in, pretend to blow your nose, and walk right back out.
I never had a problem when I was drinking, I could easily whip it out and do it in a bush if there was no toilet around. I think that’s how I grew out of it, from being able to do it while tipsy.