I’m really enjoying this thread – you actually inspired me to spend an hour painting yesterday, which is something I hadn’t done for about 6 months. It’s really fun exercising the old “art muscles” in conversation, I rarely do that since becoming a mom to twins. So I’ll tell you what I would say about this painting if we were in a critique together, as peers.
Things that work for me:
You filled the paper very well – although, anatomically, there’s no way that her hair extends all the way to the edge like that, the paper needs to be filled there; if you had background along the right edge, it wouldn be a very choppy effect. Instead, there’s a nice flow from the curve of the hair to the wrinkles in her shirt, to the background. It’s a swirling composition. The necklace breaks that action in a good way, and draws your eye back up to her features. The composition is the best thing about this piece. Your background colors support it well, too - the triangle of neutral brown, just above her shoulder, is a really good choice; it “sets” her down, gives some counter-balance to her shoulder. The swirls in the background echo her hair in a good way. The lift in her hair, where it kind of sticks up, looks good in this piece (although it would be a strange hairstyle in reality).
Now, unless you took this photograph yourself, you can’t really take entire credit for the composition; you’re borrowing from choices that someone else made. But you adapted them well in the way you put the photo to paper.
You also rendered her features quite well - the eyes are the same size, and they make sense (you let her nose crop her right eye accurately). The nose is even stronger and shows a lot of volume. Good right cheek. The chin and mouth are really expressive and individualistic - this isn’t a generic person, but a specific one.
Your color intensity is balanced well, too – with that strong pink shirt, you needed a powerful background to keep her in place. I think that contributed to her yellow skin, too, but in an abstract way it makes sense. If you’d used a pale skintone against that background and shirt, her face would be overpowered by the other elements.
Now for the criticism:
Anatomically, this gal has some issues – her neck is twice as big as her jaw (feel yours), and her shoulders have no volume whatsover. The fabric of sher shirt seems to be draped across a piece of cardboard, not a 3D human being.
Her hair is really problematic for me – given the care that you took with her mouth, nose and shirt, her hair is way too formless and flat, and ends abruptly.
Since her shirt goes lighter towards the right (which is a good choice, compositionally), you need to explain why that’s happening, by showing the same effect elsewhere in the painting. Is her shirt lighter there because that’s where the light source was? If so, then her hair and face would be affected by the same light source.
Her yellow skin tone is clearly not “true” to reality (and it IS a bit much), but that’s not always the main goal of a portrait. With the other strong colors in the piece, her face needed a powerful tone in order to compete. At first glance a person might say “Wow, that chick’s yellow”, but if you turn your piece upside-down to examine the composition (and forget that it’s about representing a person) you’ll see that a normal skintone wouldn’t have worked here. I don’t object to it as much as you might imagine, because it’s a part of a whole; change one element, and you have to change the whole thing.
It’s nowhere near as “bad” as you described, and actually shows some competence (and attitude, on her part).
When we’re starting out in painting, we often think that “more paint = darker”, but that’s not actually true. In black & white, yes, more black = darker. But in color, more pigment = more saturated, and depending on the color that can mean a lot of different things.
Start mixing complementary colors when you want a (realistic) “dark” – add green to red, orange to blue, purple to yellow (that last one’s a bit tricky). Don’t just add more of the same pigment. Unless you want a flat, graphic look, that is. If you want a 3D value effect, you need good browns and greys.
And if you’re really devoted to watercolor, let some paper show through, somewhere. Her left cheek and jaw should be transparent.