HHSP, I like the way you write.
Like tdn said “Pottery, sheer pottery”
Unless you saw his mouth agape, you can’t be sure he knew what his silliness wrought.
The next level of karmic satisfaction will be if you print this out, walk up to him, and say, “That guy over there told me to give this to you.” Watch as he reads.
Post #12. Giles, you exceeded my expectations. I thought it would take at least 20 replies before someone felt the need to tell the OP how insignificant his rant was in the grand scheme of things.
(Note to all people who feel the need to do that in the Pit - we KNOW how insignificant our rants are!)
Excellent rant. Very well done. Sheer pottery indeed. I love the idea of going and standing with LJG on his street corner. Maybe you could even scuffle with him to get on the bus first.
Me, three!
Yes, please, please go stand with him in his Special Bus Stop. The more people can get to come along, the better.
Please!
HSHP, I must agree that Tikko does seem to have a really wickedly good idea there. Let us know if you do it, ok?
'scuse me. That would be, Tikki has a good idea.
Is it possible that the driver on the first bus was aware of L-JG’s ass-hattery and stopped for him on purpose? Most bus drivers get to know their regulars and having to stop a half-block from the bus-stop would definitely stick in your memory. It could have been the bus driver’s way of saying “Here ya go smart-guy, step right on in.” After all, the first bus didn’t try to pick up anyone at the real bus stop, just the ass-hat.
Great story HSHP. We need more pit threads with happy endings like this.
And tdn, I WILL be stealing that “Pottery, sheer pottery.” line :D.
Tikki, one of my dreams is to actually race him to the Bizarro Bus Stop- you know, speedwalk right next to him, see if he breaks out into a run- find out just how badly he needs to be first- and then see if he’ll then move down another block. I entertain fantasies of herding him like a sheep to the beginning of the bus line.
Rhubarb, I’m pretty sure that the bus driver didn’t jam Line-Jumping Guy up on purpose. I’ve seen the same five or so bus drivers all stop for him, and they’ve got no way to communicate with each other and decide who to pick up or not. It’s a one-lane road, so the lead bus pulls over and the back one goes around. Sweet Lady Karma just happened to put the packed bus first at the Bizarro Bus Stop.
I have another amusing anecdote, this time about Line Jumping Woman. I was on a very crowded bus one night, close enough to the door that in order to get off, I’d have to wait for maybe 3 others to get off first, and brush past maybe a half dozen other people. It wouldn’t require the patience of Job to gain safe egress to the vehicle.
So we get to the stop, and I slowly shuffle my way to the door. But I was pushed out of the way by LJW. She just had to get out of there before me. She pushed past the other 3 people getting off as well. When I finally got off, I decided to track her down and kick the shit out of her. And by that I mean give her a really stern stare.
So I started to follow her, as did a few other people. She walked behind the bus-stop shelter and laid down. On the dirty city street. At night. In the middle of Winter.
On passenger asked her about her rather bizarre behavior. It seems she wasn’t really feeling well. Bullshit. Going home and laying on the couch is what you do when you’re not feeling well. Laying down on a sidewalk is what you do when you’re dying. She asked us all to leave her alone, but we decided that we weren’t going anywhere until we saw her climb into the back of an ambulance. Which someone called.
She must have been really messed up, because when people got her to sit on a bench, she left her purse behind. I appointed myself Guardian of the Lady’s Handbag, since I didn’t want to see some punk run off with it.
So maybe 8 of us stayed with her until the ambulance arrived. The whole time she kept saying “I’m OK, just leave me alone.” She insisted that she was perfectly fine, while she nearly passed out several times."
Finally paramedics showed up, and took her pulse (290), BP (1000/999), and temperature (400). But she was fine, really. The paramedics asked her various questions such as her age and whether she had a medic alert bracelet.
And now for the punchline:
Then they asked her what she did for a living. Her answer? “I’m a doctor.”
Happy Scrappy, maybe you could set up a little temporary bus stop sign down near the corner which just reads (facing the buses), “why do you stop for this jackass?”
While I’m with you on the whole karma thing, I just have one question.
Buses actually stop where there IS no stop in your town? Wow.
Holy shit!
Won’t some politician pass a law banning lava creatures from roaming the surface world?
Lava creatures are useful if you’re away from home and need to bake a frozen pizza right now.
Maybe she was claustrophobic, or having a panic attack? Sometimes those can make people think and act irrationaly.
HSHP, have you considered calling the bus system and complaining that buses are stopping at an unscheduled stop? I too would find it near irresistable to find out WHY this man feels the need to do this. Maybe he’s got some sort of mental illness which makes him not want to be in close proximity to other people?
Once on the bus, he has no choice, but while waiting in line, he does what he can to stay away? It’s truly a weird situation. I think I’d be hardpressed not to ask him. Does someone else who is regularly at the bus stop wear strong perfume or smoke or something?
CanvasShoes, I don’t see the point in telling the bus company. The guy isn’t really doing anything except annyoing me, and it’s only on an intellectual level. He’s not costing me a seat on the bus, he pays his fare like everyone else, and, honestly, I don’t think I’d be able to take myself seriously if I responded to his switcheroo gambit with the tattletale defense. I mean, come on. We’re making fun of HIM for being the playground lawyer.
I haven’t noticed anything strange or unusual about the people that wait on line. There are about ten “regulars” that I notice, and any three or four of them are with me in line most days. And Line-Jumping Guy must have been behind them all at one point in time or another. When the bus is crowded, he still gets on. He doesn’t do anything out-of-the-ordinary to try to get a seat all to himself. I get the very distinct impression that he just HAS to be first.
And this is why he gets Pitted. Maybe, on Monday, if there’s a totally empty bus, I’ll sit next to him anyway. Let’s see what that does to him.
Hakuna Matata, my Dad thinks he has seen your Running Man while waiting to pick up my brother-in-law at the ferry. To bad it wasn’t on the day that you mentioned. 
CanvasShoes, I don’t like standing with a bunch of other people at the bus stop. I’ll stand about 20 feet away as I wait and then get on with everyone else. I don’t make up my very own bus stop though. 
Yes, that is true. I was thinking more along the lines of "what is the bus company doing stopping at unscheduled stops, but yeah, I can see your point about not wanting to “stoop to his level” in actions.
… I get the very distinct impression that he just HAS to be first.
And this is why he gets Pitted. Maybe, on Monday, if there’s a totally empty bus, I’ll sit next to him anyway. Let’s see what that does to him.
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Well, I’d be curious to see the results of that little experiment. I just can’t figure out how having to walk out of his way gets him “first” in any way. As his experience with the standing room only bus (excellent telling by the way) proves, it’s not as if it gets him any special place on the bus, or that he has to wait less time or anything. So weird. Please keep us updated?
[QUOTE=TikkiCanvasShoes, I don’t like standing with a bunch of other people at the bus stop. I’ll stand about 20 feet away as I wait and then get on with everyone else. I don’t make up my very own bus stop though. :)[/QUOTE]
Me too, but mostly becauese of the number of smokers and the disproportionate number of vagrant types we have on our bus system.
Although, my truck is FINALLY ready, now, I will only ride the bus by choice, not because I have no other way. wooo hoooooo
Not so! I love the “I Hate My Ex” threads, especially the B.B. King story. This is just another fantastic rant in the long litany of fantastic rants that you’ve ranted. Kudos to you, sir. Kudos!
It seems I need to point out the obvious even though it my put a damper on the Pup’s elation.
He still got on first. In this case he’s even further ahead of you.
Considering that a preferred seat was never the issue, I can’t see how Line-Jumping Guy lost.
And the chances to meet and engage with a gorgeous co-ed are greatly increased when you’re both forced to face each other standing up in a crowded bus.