Yeah, I would. You can’t make more siblings… but they may be shocked.
Then again, it’s like anything. You could be BSing with a friend & then find out you have a common ancestor. It can happen…
I’d want to know, and I’d probably want to meet, but I don’t think I’d go in with any expectations of “family.”
This brings to mind something one of my uncles used to say when I was a kid (and too dumb to understand what he meant.) He had been in the Army and he claimed that every Father’s Day, he got cards from kids in Germany. Funny fellow, that uncle… :rolleyes:
Yes, I would want to know.
I either have a half older cousin or sister no ones quite sure which… apparently the girl in question back in the 70s was seeing my dad and uncle at the same time
mom used it say “one would be sneaking out the back door while the other was coming in the front”
funny thing is it wouldn’t surprise anyone as at one time my family on my grandfathers side was about 40 percent of kokomo Indiana (counting cousins and the like )
supposedly weve all met her here and there over the years and shes a cool person …
This is my answer exactly.
Definitely want to know.
In fact my father had an affair with another woman for the whole duration of his marriage with my mother and more, beginning before the marriage. And she had four children (whom I met and played with a few times when little) and I don’t remember her having a husband (though I probably wouldn’t have anyway). I’ve always wondered. But I don’t even remember their family name and have no idea how to investigate.
I’d be curious what would turn up through meeting half siblings. Probably not much. But then probably not much will turn up next week at work, and I’m curious about that too, so…
What if knowing this reveals to you that your mother was even more of skank than you thought?
This kind of stuff can extend, I know of case of a young man who has three half-sisters he knows about, one half brother and three more half siblings he doesn’t know about but I do, and who knows how many more out there, not to mention the full and half siblings of all those half siblings. We’re talking about at least three mothers and at least two fathers also.
If you want to know, and you can handle it, that’s great. Make your wishes known. But certainly don’t tell someone else about half siblings they have, or any other relations they’re mistaken about or don’t know about unless they’ve expressed a desire to find out. I understand there’s a conundrum there because that person may have no idea they have these relatives out there and so wouldn’t express a desire to find out, but you need a really good reason to bring up a subject like this with someone. Drama ensues readily from this situation, you don’t know if the knowledge will make anyone any better off.
Still for myself, I’d be interested in knowing. I already have siblings and other relatives I don’t like, so finding out about a couple of more is no big deal, and maybe I’d find a relative I actually do like.
No, I would not want to be told by a cousin that they have reason to believe this.
I can’t think of a circumstance under which a cousin would know that there is a DNA match between my father and another person, except some kind of lawsuit that was a matter of public record. If there was some circumstance where a DNA match had taken place, wouldn’t the half-sibling also know? And in that case, wouldn’t it be more appropriate for her to decide whether to approach her half-siblings than the cousin?
I’d be curious. But frankly, I can’t imagine how I could have a half sibling. Considering how sexually active my parents were, it’s a miracle they had any kids at all.
With the rise of AncestryDNA and similar services, this happens all the time. I’ve joined Facebook groups that are focused on getting the most out of DNA results, and there are constant post of adoptees, foundlings and people with an absentee parent finding their biological family through cousins they’ve matched with through the DNA testing services.
No, I wouldn’t want to know, not at my age. We may share DNA but that doesn’t make us family. It would be the same as if I had given up a child, that child would be the family of the persons who raised it. As are the childfren who have been legally adopted into my family. We don’t share DNA, but we are family.
Nope.
I’m adopted and I have never been interested in who my blood relatives were.
Nm
Of course. I have to know who I’m related to, both for personal reasons and for health reasons, and I need to know about who I have a relationship with, so I know how trustworthy they are.
Spend a little time with my family and you’ll understand. There is no way I’d want to know. It would be a massive shit show and I’d have to clean up the mess.
Under no circumstances would I get involved if I were the cousin. Maybe I would recommend one of the siblings get the DNA test done so that they could make the discovery and deal with their own family’s skeletons.
The major reason why siblings and cousins are family is their shared history, not their shared genetics.
Definitely want to know. In my case it’s a lot easier to imagine a cousin than a sibling; I mean, Dad running around and not taking responsibility for consequences? Dad? You don’t know my Dad, right? Abuelito maaaaaybe, if he hadn’t known about the pregnancy; the Gramps from Hell no surprise at all.
We did have some known about but long-lost cousins contact the family a while back. We live in different continents and neither branch of the family is terribly cozy-cozy so there isn’t much contact, but hey, we have each other’s contact info.
From personal experience - I was the one being approached by the half-sibling - do not expect anything beyond, “Hey, hi, funny that I never knew about you until now!” and perhaps an exchange of e-mail addresses. It’s less pressure to the person you contact, and it’s better that you keep your own expectations low so you don’t get hurt.
In my case, it turned out the half-sibling (a brother 17 years younger than me) was going through a very difficult time. His mother particularly pushed for more contact, phone conversations, maybe a visit. From me to them. She was rather insistent on that. (I don’t drive, and they lived 3 hours away.) Also, my half-sibling could not contact me via any electronic means.
I got suspicious, and did some poking around on the internet. I found out my half-sibling was a sex offender. A child molester, specifically. :eek: I cut off contact immediately, after explaining to the mother why (via e-mail).
An inadvertent benefit (perhaps the only benefit) to being contacted by my half-sibling is that I got to speak with my father, who I hadn’t seen in 40 years, before he died.
This happened to my husband not too long ago. He wasn’t interested in reaching out, but wouldn’t have rejected the half brother if he had reached out.
On the other hand, my husbands sister has made contact with the entire family and moved from the west coast to the east coast to be closer to her new family.