Our work lunchroom is in two main parts: eating area and cooking area. In the eating area, I put down some silverware, a packet of saltines and a new, unopened bag of those sticky, sweet black Mission figs. In the space of time that my back was turned to put a bowl of soup in the microwave, somebody pinched the bag of figs! It didn’t take more than 40 seconds, tops, and no one was in the eating area when I set everything down.
Godammit. Those things aren’t cheap - I bought them for a treat and to keep me from eating the ever present office candy. Even now some meat pickle is snarfing down my defenseless, delicious figs.
I think I’ll go on an office tour and check wastebaskets for the empty wrapper.
You might want to send out a quick ‘email to all’ re: the person who stole my figs.
That’s if you’re in the type of office where such a thing wouldn’t be frowned upon.
You could also add something about the product safety alert you just found, mentioning the horrible gastrointestinal effects of the contamination at the processing plant.
If, y’know, you were the sort of person to do that kind of thing.
Nothing lower than a lunch thief, I always say. They are the lowest of the low. Unless there is some sort of situation that is causing them to starve to death, there really isn’t a good excuse for this behavior. Sniff him out and make his life a living hell.
About 10 years ago I left the remains of a very nice chicken teriyaki in the fridge, in its styro takeout box. When I went to collect it to take it home at the end of the day, I found someone had eaten all the chicken, leaving the rice and leaving the box in the fridge.
I’ve never forgotten the betrayal I felt. Don’t think I’ll ever get over it.
A guy I used to work with would go to the lunch pails and take a bite out of a sandwich. Then when the rightful owner would gross out and start to toss the semi-sandwich, the bite stealer would proclaim, “Don’t throw that out…I’ll eat it!!”
Well, after a couple of times my boss put the ol’ fumunda cheese on the next sandwich. The thieving stopped with the laughter which followed.
Well, pugluvr, I’d like to step in at this point and say that I don’t give a fig, but you’re way too sweet for that. Next time, carefully open the package, stuff each fig with the perrenial dose of Exlax, gently reseal the wrapper and keep your back turned for a little while longer during lunch. Revenge is a dish best served cold!
WARNING: When doing this, DO NOT have more than one package of the same figs in your house at the same time.
PS: We still need to do the Los Gatos ister bar thingie.
Ahhh, I’m over it. Maybe I introduced some philistine to a new taste sensation. Fuckfoon.
Actually, Zenster, this Saturday, 4/19, there’s a gastonomic event up at Kermit Lynch in Berkeley. The cooking crew from Chez Panisse will show up and prepare a lunch of Hog Island Oysters, grilled Bordeaux sausages, salad and fresh-baked Acme bread. Several kinds of French wine will be served by the glass or bottle, provided by Mr. Lynch. Mr. Pug and I never miss the event, and we will be there at the opening bell, 11:00 a.m. I’ll also post a separate thread in Cafe Society to alert anyone else in the bay area to this, and to provide an address. Francophiles will be plentiful, as will political discussions.
There’s a running joke on the internet that a student had to go get something from the line, and he didn’t want to leave his lunch unattended, because he knew someone would steal it, so he wrote a sign that said “WARNING: I spit in this food”. When he got back, someone had wrote “OK: I spit in it as well”
We had El Torito deliver lunch for one of our staff meetings. There was a lot of food left over. A co-worker and I happened to have Glad-brand plastic containers, so we each packed up some leftovers for dinner. My co-worker absolutly loves the steak soft tacos (and she has an SO), so she packed about twice as much as I did. I collected my container at the end of the day and left for the weekend. When I got back on Monday my co-worker was furious! Someone had made off with her containers of yummy El Torito Mexican leftovers on Friday afternoon. How dare someone steal her food? She put an angrily-worded note up on the fridge, and asked the person to at least return her containers. Turns out it was the department director. He’d seen the leftovers and assumed that someone had nicely packed them up and that they were there for the taking. (The rest of the leftovers had been claimed from their deilvery containers by the time he was ready to leave.) He was totally embarrassed, and we didn’t let him forget it for a while.
Another time, one of the managers had put six one-litre bottles of Mountain Dew in the fridge. One of the other employees (who sometimes has a stick up her butt – but that’s another story) took them out so she could put her insulated lunch box in the fridge. When people saw the bottles of Mountain Dew sitting on the table, they natrually assumed that they were there for the taking. The manager was pissed! He’s a Mountain Dew fiend; and besides, he’d paid for them.
While it does happen from time to time, someone actually stealing a lunch (as opposed to making a false assumption) is very rare in our office.
Jackmanii: When Mr. Pug and I were first married, we had a huge lab mix, name of Mack.
Once we were planning a backyard barbecue, and I worked carefully for awhile forming a couple of dozen beautiful hamburger patties. I carried the platter out to the backyard, put them on the picnic table near the barbecue, and popped back into the kitchen for a second to get the burger spatula.
You guessed it - when I came back, every single burger patty was inside Mack’s belly. In under a minute, he put away about 5 pounds of beef, and kept it all down, too.
Mr. Pug was dispatched for emergency replacement hamburger and Mack spent the rest of the day under a tree, sleeping heavily and belching occasionally.
