What I wanted to be: I wanted to tell my friends I was dressing up as Mitt Romney’s tax returns.
. . . then just not show up. :D:p
What I’m actually going to be: Grown up Honey Boo Boo. I’m going to walk around all night saying, “I’m Alana. I’m 26. And I. Do. POLE DANCIN’!!!” My friend is also going to dress up as Glitzy, Honey Boo Boo’s pet pig. What I like here is that my costume is cheap- $14 for a crappy blonde wig, then I can just wear some trashy pink dress, trashy platform shoes, glittery tiara thing, and trashy makeup out of my own closet. I fear that last sentence says more about me than I care to admit. Anywho, all that plus a sash and a bottle of Mountain Dew labeled “GO GO JUICE!” and I’m good to go.
First… we will need pictures! I’m going as a bottle of Maker’s Mark bourbon. My local bar is having their annual costume party, and I am, umm… well known for drinking Maker’s. I got a t-shirt from the company store that is the bottle label, and a red knit ski cap with straggly tendrils that will serve as my wax seal. It’s easy to wear, cheap and the regulars at the bar will get it.
I’m going to be a stepford wives version of the Bride of Frankenstein. I’ve got a black 1950’s cocktail dress I’m going to wear with a tripled strand of pearls and a big BoF wig.
I was going to put on some wings and a halo and go as an angel for the Halloween party I’m going to, but then the hostess announced that anyone going as a binder full of women will win the costume contest. I’m not doing that, but I’m considering going as “women’s issues” by wearing as many sparkly things as possible and putting pinwheels in my hair so I can be a “shiny object of distraction”.
In honor of my recent heart surgery, I’m going as a heart surgery-gone-wrong patient. I’ll wear a hospital gown, a couple of IVs (with a stand), a thermometer, finger sensor, insulin needle, a TheraPEP lung exercise system, red paint oozing out from my 8 incisions, and all sorts of papier-maché innards coming out of a 10" chest incision.
And of course the “FALL RISK” bracelet that I still haven’t removed.
I hate this holiday, but since I will be one day post surgery for cateracts, and wearing an eye patch, I guess I will have to be a pirate.
Looking forward to seeing my granddaughter. She loves trucks and wants to dress up as Mader the tow truck. This is the first year she’s had a choice in the matter.
The extent of my costuming this year was just enough for people not to recognize me at the charity fundraiser I went to last week. I have two more occasions I will break this look out for in the next week. I told people I’m just going as not quite myself. I had a ton of fun at the fundraiser, people I know well really didn’t recognize me until I spoke more than a “hello” to them!
Taking it from the top: 10-gallon cowboy hat, Groucho glasses with shifty holographic eyes, checkered flannel shirt, big belt buckle from Goodwill, tan dockers, orange socks and hiking boots.
Anywho, all that plus a sash and a bottle of Mountain Dew labeled “GO GO JUICE!” and I’m good to go.
