Halvsie, the two-legged dog

Crunchy, you are a deeply disturbed, sick, out-of-control whacko. I like that in a man!!

Awwww, FairyChatMom, stop it, you’re making me blush! :o

I was sorry to hear Halvsie had only the two legs on the left side of his body. If they had been on the other side, he’d have been all right.

“Hey—a dog THAT good, you wouldn’t wanna eat him all at once!”

Hey, FaityChatMom, if you thought that was bad, I was thinking of describing Halvsie as only having his two hind legs, and telling everyone how I used to have to rub salve on his chin to help the rug burns he’d get from pushing himself along the floor. If I’d done that though, I’d lose the swimming in circles line. Plus two legs on his left side isn’t as sad of a mental image as a dog pushing himself around with his two hind legs.

And a special groan for Dinsdale for that pun.

And I loved the link Lazarus. Thanks.

“Timmy and Halvsie” (The Dumont Network)

Episode 37, “Timmy Falls Down a Well” (first broadcast April 5, 1953)

Timmy: “Oh, no—I’ve fallen down a well! Run, Halvsie, run! Get help!”

[Halvsie falls down on his side and frantically paddles around in circles like Curley for the next 30 minutes]

THE END

“Timmy and Halvsie” (The Dumont Network)

Episode 58, “Halvsie, Come Home!” (first broadcast December 9, 1957)

June Lockhart is driving home, when she goes over a bump and Halvsie falls off the back of the truck.

Cut to Timmy that night on the front porch, mournfully calling, “Halvsie, Halvsie—come home!”

Cut to Halvsie on his side frantically paddling around in circles like Curley for the next 30 minutes

THE END

Eve, you’re killing me! I’m Laughing my ass off over here, trying to be quiet about it cuz we’re not supposed to cruise the internet anymore.

Keep it up.

“Timmy and Halvsie” (The Dumont Network)

Episode 72, “Halvsie the Ghost Catcher” (first broadcast March 23, 1959)

Timmy: C’mon Halvsie, lets go check out the old abandon Wiliness house on Chestnut street! They say it’s haunted!

Cut to Timmy and halve exploring the dusty, decrepit house with a flashlight. Suddenly, they hear a creak! Timmy turns the flashlight beam towards a white dropcloth draped over an old chair, the holes in the cloth look like a pair of eyes.

Timmy: AAARGH! Run Halvsie!

Cut to Halvsie on his side frantically paddling around in circles like Curley for the next 30 minutes

         THE END

“Timmy and Halvsie” (The Dumont Network)

Episode 72, “Halvsie the Ghost Catcher” (first broadcast March 23, 1959)

Timmy: C’mon Halvsie, lets go check out the old abandon Wilkins house on Chestnut street! They say it’s haunted!

Cut to Timmy and halve exploring the dusty, decrepit house with a flashlight. Suddenly, they hear a creak! Timmy turns the flashlight beam towards a white dropcloth draped over an old chair, the holes in the cloth look like a pair of eyes.

Timmy: AAARGH! Run Halvsie!

Cut to Halvsie on his side frantically paddling around in circles like Curley for the next 30 minutes

         THE END

Those summer reruns are a bitch, aren’t they, Inky?

“Timmy and Halvsie” (The Dumont Network)

Episode 103, “Have a Cigar, Halvsie!” (first broadcast July 13, 1960)

Timmy and June Lockhart standing over Wholly, Halvsie’s girlfriend, who is nursing a litter of two-legged puppies.

June Lockhart: “Damn—I’m impressed, Halvsie . . . But . . . HOW?”

Halvsie proudly wobbles over the litter till he falls on his side, frantically paddling around in circles like Curley for the next 30 minutes

THE END

“Timmy and Halvsie” (The Dumont Network)

Episode 17, “Timmy’s Bet” (first broadcast January 14, 1959)

Timmy gets in a fight with the neighborhood bully over and bets that Halvsie can outrace the bully’s German Shepherd.

[cut to the boys holding the dogs back, and releasing the dogs on the count of three]

[cut to the German Shepherd running to the end of the street]

[cut to Halvsie on the ground in front of Timmy, frantically paddling around in circles like Curley for the next 30 minutes

THE END

I once met a dog with a wooden leg named Halvsie…

You said it Eve.

“Halvsie: Fiery Paw of Fury!!” 1962 (The Dumont Network, distributed by Warner Bros.)

Chun Li (poorly dubbed): Oh! The Clan of the Golden Fist are invading the Imperial castle!

Timm Ee: Quick Halvsie-san, run and take the magical Sword of the Seven Dragons to Lord Taranaga!!

Cut to Halvsie with a sword in his mouth, frantically paddling around in circles like Curley for the next 120 minutes.

The End

Stop it! Stop it! Can’t…stop…laughing…

How do I get this on Threadspotting?

I’m just imagining the “Woo-woo-woo-woo” sound effects. :smiley:

“Wuthering Halvsie” 1962 (Twentieth Century Dumont)

Scene opens to a wide establishing shot of a field. Tall grass and heather ripple in a firm wind.

Cut to halvsie staring longingly in the distance, precariously balanced on his two left legs.

Cut to Catherine, a pink poodle. She too stares longingly at Halvsie. Precariously balanced on her two existing right legs.

Cut back to halvsie.

Cut back to Catherine.

Cut back to halvsie.

Cut back to Catherine.

Wide shot of the field. Both Halvsie and Catherine frantically paddle around in circles on either end like Curley for the next 180 minutes.

THE END

“Halvsie Stories”

Original Airdate: March 21, 1986

Produced by: Steven Speilberg

Fade in: two fleas on top of Halvsie.

“Captain, Halvsie is about to land. He has no legs. Flester’s on the bottom, sir. He’s going to be crushed!”
“Have you tried the flea-a-chute?”
“It ripped.”
“Can he hold on to anything?”
“Negative captain. Our scouts say the balls have been removed.”
“Damn! Well, what about jumping?”
“Sir, fleas can’t do that. It’s just a myth.”
“A what?”
“A myth, a myth.”

Enter femaflea.

“Yes?”

Cut to Flester on Halvsie’s underside. Paper in hand, he frantically draws Halvsie. Flester’s drawing, however, has Halvsie with two yellow legs added on. Concentrating so hard, Halvsie suddenly grows two yellow legs, saving himself from a fall just in the nick of time.

Cut to Flester’s crewmates, celebrating. Flester, now safe from harm, loses concentration. Halvsie loses his two legs, and instantly topples over, frantically paddling around in circles like Curley for the next 15 minutes

Hannibal - email the link to TubaDiva to submit to Threadspotting

Ender - I got the reference and started laughing as soon as I saw Spielberg’s name.

And now for our feature presentation:

Night of the Living Halvsie
Directed by George A. Romero, 1974

Open in a cemetary where Timmy and Halvsie are visiting the grave of June Lockhart. A zombie kills Timmy and Halvsie runs for a nearby house. Halvsie trips over a rock and paddles frantically in circles like Curly for the next 90 minutes.

THE END

“Timmy and Halvsie” (The Dumont Network)

Episode 105, “Jack London Calling” (first broadcast July 27, 1960)

Timmy: “Golly, Halvsie, it sure is cold out, but if we don’t get the serum to Nome in time, everybody in Alaska will die of ebola! Boy, do I feel sleepy.”

Timmy slumps over into a snowdrift, and is immediately devoured by his loyal team of huskies. Halvsie, to whose collar Timmy affixed the serum during the credits, forsakes his savage instincts in the name of duty. He gazes proudly at the horizon, as he steels himself for the long journey ahead–a journey he will make to honor his master, young Timmy. Halvsie springs into action!

Cut to Halvsie on his side in a rapidly-forming snow-donut caused by his frantically paddling around in circles like Curley for the next 30 minutes.