So who would win in a fight between the Hamburglar and Wimpy?
Going with Wimpy. I know he looks like a pushover but I imagine he’d fly into a psychotic rage at the mere thought of someone pinching his precious burgers…
Hamburgler. He’s going to dominate like Muldoon in my Jurassic Park poll.
Hamburglar would robble Wimpy’s ass into next tuesday and make him pay up.
The Hamburglar can’t even steal hamburgers, so there’s no way he’d take on a master manipulator like Wimpy. Wimpy would outsmart him at every turn, and whenever the Hamburglar thinks he might get the upper hand, it would all come crashing down. If challenged, Wimpy would simply use his catchphrase, “Let’s you and him fight” and get away in the confusion.
I am, of course, referring to the comic strip Wimpy, not the wimpy version you see in Popeye cartoons. “I would like to invite you over to my house for a duck dinner. You bring the ducks.”
Not to mention making a killing by promoting said fight.
Wimpy would manipulate Hamburglar into getting into a fight with Popeye, who would splat Hamburglar into the middle of next month. Then Wimpy would get Mayor McCheese to give him a reward for defeating Hamburglar: a certificate entitling Wimpy to all the hamburgers he can eat for life, with pickle lettuce and onion both.
I have yet to see the Hamburglar make away with a single hamburger. Wimpy gets hamburgers by the dozens without payment, or even any apparent source of income. The Hamburglar has style, but Wimpy is an old school “Mustache Pete” criminal mastermind.