"Hand me that 6-sider," and other things non-gamers don't say.

I was playing Monopoly with a mixed group (gamers and non-gamers), and somebody asked for the 6-siders. A gamer handed them to him. A non-gamer said, “Huh?” His girlfriend just rolled her eyes. “Dice, sweetheart. They’re called dice. There’s only one kind in this game. You don’t have to specify that they have six sides.”

“Did you remember to return the library books?”
“Aw, dammit, no, I failed my remember-to-return-library-books roll.”

“I spent a point of willpower to avoid getting the Death By Chocolate Cake and had a scoop of sorbet instead.”

“I’d like you to meet my girlfriend.”

Trunk just made me spit coffee on my monitor, and there will be a price to pay. :slight_smile:

I’m notoriously clumsy. Among some of my friends, a casual comment of “Another botched dex check” after a spectacular spill up the stairs is greeted with uproarious laughter. Others just stare at me with that “normal person in the headlights” look.

Watching the Errol Flynn Robin Hood movie, the part where he escapes from the castle by cutting the rope holding up the portcullis and letting the falling portcullis lift him to the top of the castle wall, my brother said, “HOW many hero points???”

My daughter once asked me what they called people who took care of forests and animals and trees and stuff.

Me: Druids.
Daughter: :rolleyes: No, Dad. In the real world.
Me: Oh! Rangers. (thinking, park rangers…).
Daughter: :rolleyes: :mad: Fine! I’ll go look it up!

I laughed at that. Hard.

I would imagine that if I played D&D, I would understand this. But I don’t, and I don’t.

I don’t play D&D either but a quick search comes up with "Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.

And I can’t come up with any right now, which is odd because I play Vampire and we used to have long conversations involving it.


Yes, my friends and I do commonly use “You failed/made your dex check” after a particularly clumsy/coordinated maneuver. Along with "saving throw vs. {whatever}.

I found these miniature firemen at the craft store. They have firemen coats, boots, helmets, and are carrying hoses, axes, etc. They’re about 2 & 1/2" tall. I put them in with my miniature figures, and a friend, who doesn’t play, saw them. He didn’t know what to make of them.

‘Cute’ he said, ‘Why firemen?’

I just looked at him, grinning. His wife, who does play, immediately got it, and fell out laughing.

‘Notice that they’re twice the size of the other figures’, I told him.

‘Look out’, she said, between giggles, ‘One of them has an axe!’

‘Yeah, so?’, her husband asked.

All together now,
‘They’re FIRE GIANTS!’

After my brother and I spent ten years gaming together and figuring out weird drawings on battlemats, my parents had the bad idea to put my brother and I on the same team the one time we ever played Pictionary.

Brother draws random squiggle.
“Alligator!” I yell.

I draw random squiggle.
“Telephone booth!” my brother yells.

:eek: my parents.

We do the (attribute) check thing, too…someone’s opening a stuck jar, it’s “Strength check”, someone is trying to think of a word, it’s “Int check”, etc. At my old DM’s house, he’d frequently get door-to-door salespeople and pizza delivery at the door…and sometimes the group would be in a deep discussion as to the proper course of action. One unlucky salesman was at the door, talking to the DM, and heard the rest of us plotting an ambush and murder. He stared in horrified fascination, and then decided that he didn’t want to make THIS sale THAT badly and beat it.

For more geeky gamy goodness, go to http://archive.gamespy.com/comics/nodwick/index.htm and click on “Full Frontal Nerdity”, a comic about “Three geeks. No lives. Roll for initiative.” Gamers will laugh at this comic. Non-gamers will nod their heads and think that they are wise to stay away from RPGs and CCCs. I heartily recommend it. Williams has some other treats on his page, too, including the misadventures of Nodwick and the group that hired him.

And then the whole party were bull-whipped…

Once at a restaurant we were served the hardest rolls ever produced by humankind. As my friend tried to hack his way into one with the puny butter knife I said, “Must be some MDC bread.”

It was funny at the time, okay?

My wife and I both play EverQuest. In that game, when your character is carrying too much equipment or loot you repeatedly see a message telling you that you are overweight…

So one night we were walking back home from the store in Seoul, S. Korea, with a couple of bags of groceries. My wife had grabbed the bags while I paid, and was carrying them down the street (normally, I carry the heavy stuff, but I was waiting for her to say “hey! Carry this, idiot!” simply to be annoying…).

Anyways, when she suddenly noticed that she was carrying everything and I was carrying nothing, she had a brain-freeze on how to express her dissatisfaction with the situation in English (Korean being her native tongue). So she reverted to EQ terminology: “Hey! I am ENCUMBERED!


I’m sure I’ve used at least a couple of Magic: The Gathering terms in non-game settings in the past, but it’s been a long time since I’ve played. And I’ve never played D&D or other similar games, though I’d probably really enjoy them.

I live in a cave in the middle of 20,000 acres of uninhabited forest. Uninhabited by humans, at least. Besides me, of course. Well, there is this one guy. I don’t know if he has a name, but I call him The-Red-Headed-Man-That-Lives-Down-The-River-By-The-Crab-Apple-Tree. However, I’m not sure if he’s entirely human or even partially human. Or mortal. He’s been somewhat angry with me since I deleted all the Windows card games off my computer. And that was quite a while ago.

However, I do use insider terms from professional wrestling all the time. The-Red-Headed-Man-That-Lives-Down-The-River-By-The-Crab-Apple-Tree took quite a “bump” when he tripped over a branch and fell into the river. He busted himself open “hardway” on a rock. I “marked out” big-time over that. And the animals in the forest jeered at me like I was some sort of “heel”. It’s not like The-Red-Headed-Man-That-Lives-Down-The-River-By-The-Crab-Apple-Tree is a real “babyface”. He “punked out” a raccoon just last week with a “foreign object”.


I’ve found that, thanks to playing so much Magic, I now cannot help but tell other people when it’s their turn in other card games. Like poker. “I see your two, and raise you five. Your turn.” Then everyone gives me funny looks, and I have to explain again that I’m used to playing card games where you can do more than one thing on your turn.

“Your orc is dead.”

I image that non-gamers, when planning an afternoon with a group of friends, seldom ask if they should bring any books with them.

You think that’s bad…last night, I was playing Hearts with some friends. It was the first trick, and I was considering playing the seven of spades, so I looked down to see if I had enough Swamps to generate seven black mana…


The best part was explaining to my friends why I burst out laughing at myself for seemingly no reason.

I have absolutely no idea what any of you are talking about :confused:

Fun to read though, it’s like being in an episode of the twilight zone :smiley:

I was in Las Vegas, the Luxor, with about thirty other people who played an online text RPG. One of the other players and I are deep in conversation as we punch the elevator button to go down to the lobby. The car arrives, the doors open and we get on just about the time she says, “Well, he was acting like a twerp, so I killed him! And he says, ‘Whadja do that for?’”

There was one poor soul already on the elevator, and he starts inching away from us. I spotted the movement, gave him my most placating smile, and said, “It’s in a game” before going back to the conversation. I don’t think he relaxed any the rest of the way down, though.