Why can’t it be a floor polish AND a dessert topping? I’d say it’s pretty well known that perceptions of men and women, correlated with age, differ by gender.
Yeah, a woman may be infantilized by default. Being a young woman, or perceived as one, can make it even harder to be taken seriously.
And eventually you get to be middle aged and just ignored. But I’ve always been ignored so no skin off my nose.
There’s your answer right there. 35 and male it does not matter if you look 28 or 40. Or if people think you’re 40 or 28.
As others have said it mattered a lot when you were in junior high, high school, and perhaps college. Not now. If you have a problem being taken seriously at work or as a consumer buying seriously adult stuff like houses or new cars, think about your wardrobe and how you carry & present yourself.
I always looked a little young for my age. At 65 I still do, but now it’s a blessing!
But more than that throughout my 20s and 30s I was real slender and rather small as adult men go. Up through my mid-20s my build and size made people think I was a teen. To find clothes that fit I often shopped in the teen / tween department at the stores. Turns out the clothes were making my problem a lot worse. Better to be wearing a baggy size XS men’s shirt with adult colors or print patterns than a tween size M that fits well but has Yodas an’ shit on 'em.
yeah. it doesn’t really matter much to older people. younger people usually seem taken aback but I guess that doesn’t really matter either.
I understand and sympathize with that. The OP, however, very much comes across as a sneak brag. What is their grievance? What is it that they need assistance “handling” ?
It’s not a brag. It’s a handicap for alot of people.
Women, surely.
My daughter had a history teacher in grade 11. Male. Cute as a button.(All us Moms said, yep we were guilty) Short. Kept a youngish haircut. Probably late 20s.
He was tormented with the girls flirting him up and all the boys calling him Mr. Doogie Houser.
He lasted 2 years. Went on to something else I guess.
I swear he could a been a detective sent to highschools to break up gangs or drug problems.
I thought surely close up you can tell his true age. But I got a real close look at a parent/teacher meeting. He was truly a marvel. I think I even saw acne.
You know it had to bother him.
But what are you gonna do? A man can grow facial hair. Dress older.
A woman not so much.
I don’t see sneak bragging. I see emotional immaturity that is (mildly) obsessing over something they think they should be worried about. “Everyone is looking at me!1!”. Totally standard teen social angst. A bit silly for a 35yo male, but we each grow up at different rates.
And lest that comment sound too harshly judgmental, please believe I can totally remember utterly cringeworthy emotionally immature shit that 35yo me did on a regular basis.
I’m feeling pretty much grown up now but that’s a very recent, definitely post age 60, experience for me.
It’s a pain many of us suffer. I rarely get my haircut. Even now in my 50s it just sort of naturally grows out into this glorious mane of hair. I have to constantly deal with taunts like “Hey McDreamy!” or “Look it’s handsome Canadian PM Justin Trudeau!” Just the other day I’m at my son lacrosse practice. The park isn’t in that great of a neighborhood and some local boys were calling out “YO! YO!! Little help Tom Cruise! Toss the ball Maverick!!” Can’t a handsome man with glorious hair walk down the street wearing a pair of Ray-Ban aviator sunglasses?!
I can’t even escape it at work. I’m meeting a potential client for the first time and the first thing she said was “Oh my! You do have nice hair!” Yeah. I need it to cover my gigantic brain!
Even AI doesn’t work on it. I had brunch with some old college friends last year and one of them thought it would be funny to apply an AI filter to do a before/after photo. MINE DIDN’T CHANGE!!
Clearly you’ve never actually looked younger than your age no matter what anyone told you or decided after admiring yourself in the mirror. There are easily as many people in the world who judge a book by it’s cover as there are who don’t. If you did look significantly younger than your age you’d have memories of being disregarded for a lack of maturity, knowledge, and experience instead of assuming those who faced the reality are bragging about it. What you are doing is blatant bragging about your appearance.
hey y’all no need to get heated, please.
obviously I was emotionally insecure about this otherwise I wouldn’t have made a thread about it. this board trends older so I figure people who had experienced this issue would have handled it already.
I’m not autistic but I was undersocialized to begin with and then being inside for 3 years during the pandemic didn’t help much.
I’m 70 now, but when I was 40 I looked like I was 25. I didn’t start going gray until my 50’s. Whenever anyone learned about my age they had a kneejerk response of “I’d never have known it” or some such. I would just smile and say thank you. That’s about it.
My second year of teaching second grade, I decided to grow a beard. “Great!” my assistant principal said; “Now we can tell you apart from the students!”
Thanks, asshole.
Being mistaken for being younger is a stereotypical blessing in a youth-obsessed culture. That doesn’t exactly make it a fun experience.
yeah that’s pretty much how it goes now. seems like that’s fine.
I’m now 48. I still look in my 30s even with a graying beard.
My (2 year) older brother has the wrinkles called “laugh lines” on his eyes, and I am kind of jealous, because his beard never really worked out. I can grow a full beard, and have a secret ambition to be a Santa actor with a full white real beard, but those “laugh lines” need to be there too. The guy needs to twinkle his eyes!
As for why I want to be a Santa actor, I cannot say. Although I did watch “Bad Santa” the Billy-Bob Thornton and Coen brothers collab, and Santa did get a fair amount of random sex in that movie.
I mean the answer here is there’s nothing you can do other than comport yourself with dignity and maturity. Some people are going to treat you differently anyway, but that reflects their own immaturity.
I’ve never heard anyone else say that, but that is exactly how I feel! I think laugh lines are the most attractive way to age, and I was almost looking forward to getting them. Alas, even though I’m getting a lot more wrinkly now that I’m 65, I still don’t have much in the way of tiny fine lines at the corners of my eyes. (No doubt because of my greasy skin - a blessing and a curse.) I honestly think it might be more attractive if I had some.
I normally look about 15 younger than my actual age, except I have extensive crows feet. At least according to my wife, who loves seeing them.
I’m something like 45. Most of my life I’ve not only gotten carded, but gotten double-takes and comments from servers and cashiers when they do so. I don’t mind. I don’t get carded because I look underage anymore, thankfully.
The only time it was ever a problem was if someone made an assumption about my competency based on their perception of my age.
Sometimes people presume the wrong pop-culture youth nostalgia era. That’s fun, whether it’s surprising Millennials that I don’t know anything about Pokémon or Power Rangers, or GenXers that I watched M°A°S°H and You Can’t Do That On Television.
I’m 51, but I appear to come off as about a decade younger. It’s kind of a trip. It’s certainly not because I keep myself in tip-top shape or because I am brimming with youthful energy that people want to knock a few years off my age. The fact that I shave my head probably helps. It’s harder for people to see those grays that are trickling in.
Like many others, I’ve always looked younger. In the military, I grew a moustache to look a bit older, and I still have both a beard and a 'stache at age 77. Without them, I’d probably pass for early 60s, but I’m not a good judge of age.
I’ve looked almost exactly the same since I was 14 years old. I’m 68 now. It was a problem then because I looked older and bus drivers wouldn’t let me pay student fare, and it’s a problem now because I can’t get a senior discount without someone having to use their calculator on my driver’s license.
My partner, who is a few months younger, doesn’t appreciate it when salespeople think I’m her son.