I am thirty years old. I look about 20 (and that’s at the high end of the spectrum of people’s guesses). Without going into all the reasons I’ve been told why I should treasure this quality (For example: I will appreciate it when I’m 40, et al.), most of the time I consider it a burden. I find that in most situations, people assume that my maturity level is directly related to how young I look.
I am the mother of two boys. I have survived alcoholic family members, my own father’s tragic downward spiral into the world of hard-core drug use when he was in his forties, the loss of a verbally abusive mother for whom I acted as a nursemaid, one divorce, a myriad of squandered opportunities, and one agonizing ten-year high school reunion…
So I was standing in line at a convenience store purchasing a large quantity of fountain sodas and snacks for some co-workers when I noticed that one of the fountain drinks was a little too full, and some of the soda has accumulated on the outside of the plastic lid. I unwrapped a straw and sucked the tiny bit of liquid off the top of the lid so that when I drove down the road, I wouldn’t have to wind up with Diet Coke on my lap. A guy behind me says with a snort and an air of wisdom beyond anything he thought I could possibly grasp at my young age, “That’s full of germs.”
I also get a lot of advice about basic baby care because my youngest is eight months old. Of course, I smile and try to divert the conversation in a gracious way. I wish I was not so nice and could say something like, “Oh, have I introduced you to my son who, despite me, has managed to survive for eight years so far.”
So does anyone else experience this? Does it irk you, or do you just accept it? For those of you who are assumed to be teenagers or early twentysomethings when you are 30+, are you insulted by it or are you grateful that you look young?
When I was your age, I was often mistaken for a teenager. I hated that! But now that I am in my late fifties, it’s great to be mistaken for a younger person. For me, the shift between being annoyed and being glad occurred around age 45. You may have a few years of annoyance ahead of you, but I can virtually guarantee you that your youthful appearance will seem like a blessing eventually!
I’ll be 34 in three months, and am often taken for being in my early-to-mid 20s (though last week I didn’t get carded at happy hour and someone thought I was 28 … I must be losing my looks! ;)). It usually doesn’t bother me at all – only if I get treated unprofessionally because of someone’s presumptions/thoughtlessness.
BTW, I’ve found that some people will make germ comments and baby-care suggestions no matter how old you look.
I have the same ‘problem’, but I don’t really consider it a problem anymore. I’m 34 and most people guess early 20s. I’ve had to actually show a play director my ID because he didn’t believe me. I get comments sometimes but I usually shrug them off. And in the interest of full disclosure, sometimes I even use it as an excuse to be really immature.
I’m 35 and young looking. Problem is, I truly am immature. My friends and I still call “shotgun” when vying for the passenger front seat in a car. I try to hide it when I’m at work since it’s a white collar environment. But every once in a while it sneaks out. This is not good in meetings with the CFO. While I’m management, people seem to assume that I’m still an entry-level analyst. The best thing that happened to me career-wise was getting married and having 2 kids. People somehow assume that I must be mature. Yeah right!
Since the written word can’t convey tone of voice, I read this more as a know-it-all-buttinski rather than someone trying to teach a young 'un the error of her ways. I’ve never looked that much younger than my age, but I always seem to draw unsolicited advice. <shrug> For whatever that’s worth.
But I have to agree with you about the way some folks try to be patronizing. Perhaps a simple “I beg your pardon??” would get their attention, especially said in a slightly annoyed tone. Or you could borrow Eve’s lorgnette and harumph a mighty “Really!!”
Unfortunately, having two kids only makes people assume that I am either the babysitter or the older sister who is old enough to drive, bless her heart.
Some really comical things happen to me too. I took my stepdaughter to her dentist appointment once and the receptionist assumed I was in middle school with my stepdaughter and asked me if we were waiting for a ride.
I don’t have a nasty attitude about it really. Most of the time, my day has to already be going pretty badlyfor me to react when something is said or done that annoys me…
I won’t be 30 for another 22 months, but I am by no means grateful that people think I’m about 20 or maybe 22. It irritates me more at work than in other aspects of life (though I did find out last month that you need to be over 18 to buy unrated versions of horror movies. grr) because the new people I work with - my work place has a high turn over rate- who are older than I am, after giving me that “aren’t you the cutest thing” look, seem to get the impression that I got my job right out of college which is a sign they should be looking for instant advancement too. Of course, when they ask how long I’ve worked for the company and I tell them four years they a. realize I’m a lot older than they first thought b. aren’t going to be made a supervisor next month and look disappointed. I worked hard to get where I am, so this invariably rubs me the wrong way…
I’m just grateful that people tend to think I’m somewhere around 21 now. Up until the last four years or so, if I told people I was in school, they’d ask which high school. (Lessee here, I went to two different schools, and I graduated in '94…) I once got carded for an R-rated movie when I was 21. The only place I’m consistently carded (and not that I’m constantly in them!) is at casinos. I’d card me too, I can’t blame them for that.
I can see this being a Good Thing in a few more years. I do know I look older than I did when I was twenty, because I came across my passport yesterday, and Og, I looked like I was fifteen!
Well, I’m 40. In addition to looking young for my age, I’m also small, so I’m frequently mistaken for being much younger than I am. I get carded for cigarettes regularly. The closest anyone has come recently to guessing my age was 30. As Misnomer sai, the only time it’s really annoying is when people talk to me like I’m an idiot, but I can shut them up pretty quickly.
And the smoking thing… I was standing outside having a cigarette last summer when a woman who (to me) was obviously younger than I am started chewing me out. She even called me “young lady.” I bore her lecture quietly until she said, “…and it will AGE you so fast! You’ll be all wrinkled by the time you’re thirty!”
I just turned 23 and I’m starting to get annoyed at being mistaken for a younger guy. I could probably pass for a high school senior. At least according to one NY cab driver, I did. I can see that being a plus later in life. Looking 25 when you’re 33? Sure, fine. But being mistaken for 18 when you’re in your early 20s doesn’t do you any good.
I have this problem, too. I’m thirty, with a 2 year old and an 8 month old, and depending on what I wear I can look pretty young.
When I was 24, I was in line to get a flu shot and the nurse who was coming around with paperwork looked at me quite sternly and said, “You know, if you’re under 14 you must have a parent’s permission to get a flu shot.” I just rolled my eyes and pulled out my driver’s license.
Another time my mother and I were browsing at a nursery (plants, not babies ), and one of the employess came over and said, “Oh, you just missed the kid’s project this morning. Anyone under 12 gets to do such-and-something for free”. And then he had the nerve to glare at me as if I was lying when I politely informed him I was about 12 years too old :rolleyes:
Someday, someday, maybe I’ll be grateful for this. At least I don’t get carded everytime I try to buy a drink anymore…
Yes, this can be pretty weird. My friend Mike used to get carded well into his thirties, but then he got married, grew a beard, and gained some weight. Actually, I think he grew the beard to avoid getting carded…
Heck, I often get mistaken for ‘around thirty’, and I’m almost 42 (though this is happening less often, due to my encroaching baldness and greying eyebrows).
The woman I am pursuing is within two years of my age, is petite and slender, and can sometimes look 25. Since she regularly travels by bicycle, she is often taken for a university student.
While physical appearance certainly counts, I think that clothing, mannerism and behaviour is equally important. If you have a fairly high voice (and I often do), that adds to the impressionn of youth.
There is also the opposite of this phenomenom. In the late eighties I used to work with a guy who was a few years younger than me (I was 26), but he looked and acted like he was a lot older. People would think he was in his late thirties or even older.
I totally understand. I am 31 and I still get regularly carded for liquor.
As for my job, I have found that it can be an advantage. My line of work is very adversarial and many others like to assume that I must not know what I am doing given my appearance. I just let them think that for as long as I can, and then give them a whallop of reality when it counts.
Besides, I figure once I’m 35, all of my hair will fall out, I’ll develop a back hump, and I’ll grow bushels of hair out of my ears like alfalfa–so I might as well enjoy it now.
I can see that being a plus later in life. Looking 25 when you’re 33? Sure, fine. But being mistaken for 18 when you’re in your early 20s doesn’t do you any good.