Hands Free Devices, Bluetooth & Douches. Get your damn vocabularly correct!

Here’s your daily lesson from Professor fusoya. “Bluetooth” is a wireless communication protocol. That douchey thing you put in your ear to use with your cell phone is called a “hands free device” or “head set”. It is NOT called a Bluetooth, even though many use the Bluetooth protocol to link to your phone. A “douche” is someone who wears a hands free device when not either driving or talking, and refers to it as their bluetooth.

If I put it in my pants pocket, can I call it a Blueballs?

. . . and uses a plural pronoun for a singular antecedent. Thing is “bluetooth” is also slang for a hands-free device that uses bluetooth protocol. There are probably lots of examples of this sort of thing (all of which are escaping me). Don’t like it? Tough shit, you’ll have to get used to it.* You sure as hell aren’t going to stop it by getting all nerd-tough and talking about wireless communication protocols. Still, I agree that it’s douchey to sport a bluetooth headset when not driving, talking (and I’ll add) or expecting a call.

*Same as I am going to have to get used to folks talking about someone and their things.

I just portmanteau it and call it a bluedouche. :slight_smile:

I can’t hear you. I’m busy Hoovering.

I was going to make a snide comment, but, being too lazy to google a good idea, thought to just xerox this post.

Wait, what? There are hands free douches now? I bet you have to practice your Kegels to use it.

I’d better get a kleenex; I’m getting a cold.

You could just trace it. Maybe with a Biro or Sharpie.

Snark aside, there’s a difference between Bluetooth, and Kleenex, Xerox, Sharpie etc. Bluetooth isn’t a company name, it’s a form of technology. Bluetooth is also used for communicating between your Wii/Xbox/PS3 controller and the system, for some (overpriced, in my opinion) wireless keyboards and mice, and can infact be used between my phone and computer - not for talking, but for file transfers.

Does anyone refer to their wireless mouse as their bluetooth? Anyone? Then stop calling your damn headpiece that!!!

fusoya, while I agree with you, it’s a lost cause. You know why people say bluetooth instead of hands free device? Because it’s half as many syllables. That’s also why they don’t call their mouse a bluetooth, becasue mouse is shorter. Yes, it’s not a company name like Kleenex or Xerox, but I don’t see that as a meaningful distinction linguistically.

I agree it’s not the same as a genericized trademark like band-aid or kleenex, but I managed to think of a parallel. I’ll tell you when I done eating this burrito I heated up in the microwave.

Meh, I use the term Bluetooth or headset, mainly cause I really don’t care. It’s a mute point because the first one broke when I dropped it on the Formica, and the other fell into the Jacuzzi.

Hands free Bluetooth enabled device. Why is it any more or less douchy to shorten that to “bluetooth” as opposed to “hands free device?”

To be really nitpicky, the thing that just goes in your ear is an “ear piece.” It’s only a “head set” if it has something that goes over your whole head to attach it to you.

Jeez, now this is getting to me.

The genericization of the brand names Hoover, Xerox, Jacuzzi and Formica is really not analogous. This sort of mistake leads to bad LSAT scores.

If I understand correctly, it’s not as if there a brand called bluetooth that’s been genericized to apply to all headsets. A bluetooth headset (or earpiece) is one that uses a certain type of wireless communication protocol. This protocol is used by devices other than headsets, like keyboards, for example. Nonetheless, in common parlance, a “bluetooth” refers to a “bluetooth headset/earpiece” or “bluetooth hands-free device”, not a keyboard, even though both might use the bluetooth wireless communication protocol. Similarly, in common parlance, a “microwave” refers to a microwave oven, not a radar or communications tower, even though all might emit microwaves.

fusoya:

  1. You’re right.
  2. Who gives a fuck?

Well; USB rolls better than “portable flash memory drive”, even if USB is the connection device.

Do people really call them “USBs”, though? I’ve only heard “USB stick”, “thumb-drive”, etc.

“Bluetooth” will be the commonly accepted term within fifteen years.

It already is. You’re just seeing the inevitable backlash from linguistic conservatives now.