In the course of my lifetime there has been a progression in the form greetings/congratulations among men, from handshakes to “soul” handshakes, to high fives (and variations), to vertical fist bums, to knucks.
I figure that by the time an out-of-date older white suburban dude like me becomes aware of something, it is probably already passe. So how are the cool kids greeting each other these days (which I and my definitely unhip golf buddies will be emulating 5 years from now)?
If you want to be hip, finger bang your friends when you greet them.
That is, point your finger at them like you’re shooting them. At the same time, make a double clicking noise in your mouth. For extra cool points, wink.
No one will ever think you’re a tool when you do this.
Sorry, I’m an old white dude too. If I told you the new way to greet people, if I even knew how, it would automatically become uncool.
In fact, because you used the word “tool” in a sentance, believing it to be a cool word, you have actually ruined the word for any young person listening. Please, those of us over 50 must be careful with our powers. Just the other day I sent a small tremor through the urban youth community when my pants slipped below my waist and exposed my underwear.
Handshakes are never out of fashion. I stick my hand out for a shake, period. I don’t high-five or knuckbump. If someone tries that crap with me, I simply ask them to stop play childish finger games.
Yeah, I’m an old codger. So what? Now get off my lawn!!!
Don’t get me wrong - I’ve never fully embraced the fist bump. Don’t know if I ever initiate it, but I’ve gotten a little smoother about responding in kind when someone else does. (I assume I resemle Jon Stewart and his “Senior Black Correspondent.”)
Like so much else, I’m pretty much stuck in the “slip me five” that we used in my high school and college. I know I’ll never be cool again - if I ever was. Just kinda curious what the next generation of cool kids is going to do. Trying to figure out how many new ways there are to make hand contact.
In black culture*, there is no such thing as an age limit for ‘giving pound’. Everyone** does it. Mostly, it is done fist on top of fist, though, not bumping knuckles. But both ways work.
*Not speaking for all black culture, just the black culture that I have witnessed.
**I don’t really mean everyone, I just mean lots of people that I know.
I believe you should try this out. If for no other reason, the look on the Judge’s face if you tried. “Counsel, is that a threat? Put your hand down before I throw you out of my courtroom.”
Better yet, every time you win a motion, fist bump your client or co-counsel…
As a side note, I second whoever said the fist bump does not replace a handshake, but rather replaces a high-five. Now, would you ever really high-five a judge or opposing counsel? Probably not. But would you high-five your kid after they win a soccer game? Probably.