handy's drive-by posting: just stop already!

The BBQ Pit
1

I know this has been mentioned before in the Pit, but it really drives me crazy. I think almost every time I have ever seen Handy post in GQ, it has been to either 1) answer a question incorrectly, apparently based on whatever the first thing to come to his head was, or 2) to not answer the question at all.

For example, see:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=84066

In this thread, Handy made yet another useless post, suggesting that the OP “call the bank” to get his question answered. Then Zumba the Cat posted an actual answer, and also told Handy that she wished he’d post something useful once in awhile (a sentiment I heartily agree with). Then Handy comes back and has the nerve to tell Zumba that she posted nothing of value.

Well, that’s rich, considering the source. I would like to point out that Zumba’s post DID contain information, and information that was a lot more useful than “Call the bank.” Yeah, the OP should have just called the bank to find out. In fact, any time anybody wants to post a question to the SDMB, they should probably just find out the answer for themselves first, and therefore nobody would ever have to post at all, and wouldn’t that be great?

If the OP HAD called the bank, he probably would have got the stock reply, “Visa should be accepted everywhere,” which as I pointed out in my response is not necessarily true. Besides which, the point of the SDMB is to answer people’s questions. Personally I didn’t think the OP’s question was silly or useless. It was not a bad question.

I just get really, really tired of seeing handy continually post INCORRECT or totally USELESS information in GQ. Especially incorrect posts.

I would just like to point out that I have nothing against Handy as a person, I just really wish he would stop these “drive-by” posts that don’t help anyone. Yes, I realize that sometimes he posts on topic with useful information, but those posts are submerged in the sheer quantity of dreck that he also manages to post. I am speaking solely about GQ, too, as I figure people should be able to post as much dreck as they want in IMHO and MPSIMS.

It’s just driving me crazy. It always bugs me when people post off-topic or useless/wrong info in GQ, but this single person manages to do it about 50 times more often than anybody else, and it makes me want to scream.

That is all.

2

::driving by::

Agreed!

::driving by::

3

Me too!

4

Again?

5

:smiley:

6

-AP (Chicago)
Thousands were stunned by the latest drive-by posting by handy, the poster with the highest post count on the SDMB. “It was uninformative and annoying” says one poster, who prefered to remain anonymous.
While no one was injured by the latest drive-by, many seemed annoyed and irritated. “Why does he post such drivel?” asked one frustrated Doper. “Will he ever stop?” asks another. “Imagine if he just posted one factually correct post. I’d go and check the Weather Channel to see if hell really did freeze over” said yet another.

We now return you to your regular message board, already in progress.

7

handy’s goal isn’t accuracy or helpfulness–if those occur, they are just byproducts. His goal is post count, and onlypost count. This may not be much of a goal, but notice how far ahead he is of even the most prolific posters who go for content–I think Coldfire is in second place, and he’s a couple thousand back. So handy has exactly what he wants, and I doubt complaining about it will impress him.

8

Elsewhere in the news,

“Pope reveals himself to be member of Catholic church.”

“Bear found relieving itself in woods.”

9

My car is a four-door sedan, dark metallic grey. At some point in its working life it was parked near enough to a house painting job that it picked up an approximately ¼" drop of pinkish-beige paint on the roof, about over first gear.

I don’t like that drop of paint, but it had cured by the time I noticed it. While it clashes garishly with the overall appearance of the car, I think few notice it. And the bother to see to it becoming gone far outweighs the weight I bear for it being there.

The car seems pretty much the same inside. As far as I can tell the performance is unaffected. Yeah, the car works as expected even with the garish paint spot (that few really notice).

So, I think I’ll probably spend the rest of my time with this car remaining essentially oblivious of that spot of paint.

10

Oh, I did it first.

Not that I’m proud of it or anything.

11

I feel really sad just typing this. But I think it’s important to say anyway.

IIRC, handy is deaf and doesn’t know sign language. If this is untrue, correct me. But as I now understand it, he cannot speak nor can he use manual cues to convey information. The only thing he has left available to him, short of telepathy, is through a written medium.
He’s lucky in this regard then, that the internet is so prevelent as to allow him to use his one form of communication to an extent never given to any other generation.
And this is how he uses it.
BTW, I believe tracer is in second place.

12

Just curious, Enderw24, where’d you pick up that he doesn’t know sign language? I missed that.

13

I seem to recall that handy is not proficient at ASL, but he does know (some of) it.

That still is no excuse for drive-by posting, and spreading misinformation.

14

[channelling handy]
I have read about this drive-by posting dozens of times here before, but can’t remember where. Anyway you should just email a moderator if this happens, not that it matters.
[/channelling handy]

I dunno, I still feel fondly about him. Sort of like awful cousin eric that you have to have to the family dinner, and there’s always something that goes wrong that upsets everyone, but if he wasn’t there it wouldn’t be the whole family.

God knows when he didn’t make that 10,000th post for so long I was distraught!
Redboss

[channelling handy]
We used to have a redboss before, how come someone else has the same user name? Thought that wasn’t supposed to be possible. Just goes to show what can happen if you know how to use Vbulletin.

So why hasn’t anyone suggested the possinbility of polling everyone on the Boards, I will do it one afternoon, it will only use the Search engine for half a day.
[/channelling handy]

15

I don’t know for a fact that he doesn’t know ASL. I do remember another poster awhile back saying that he doesn’t know it. I couldn’t link you to it even if I wanted to. I’ve never heard from handy himself on the matter, which is why I asked for a correction if it’s needed.

16

I don’t know about his proficiency in ASL, but I do know that he’s said that certain parties he’s been to, girls have found out he was deaf and asked him to teach them to say “hello” in ASL.

He said he taught them the sign for “fuck you.” SO maybe he knows how to swear well in ASL:)

17

And wouldn’t you know it … this is the one thread he doesn’t post to.

18

Used to be, I think, but not any more. I think the correct order is:

handy 10297
Coldfire 8136
Tracer 7400
David B 6395

I may have forgotten somebody in there.

19

well damn… I guess I should check the pit before I speak my mind… I had no idea…

20

He NEVER responds to Pit threads devoted to him.

Sometimes I wish this board had moderation more like that at the somethingawful.com boards. I know it would never work here, totally different styles of forum, but if handy posted there he would probably have a demeaning custom title and a permanent post count of 0 (or some ridiculous figure like 40,000,000).