I’ll keep it simple.
Booze does NASTY things to your body. First off, it puts your kidneys into full swing and starts pouring out urine (you notice this mainly with beer), it filters into your brain and as it gives you that great feeling, it starts killing brain cells and knocking out the electrolyte balance of your body. It irritates the brain, which, later, when the alcohol level drops, swells slightly, causing the often experienced headache.
Well into your drunk, you liver is processing out one-third of an ounce of alcohol per hour and hating itself for doing it because the stuff is an organic poison and irritates the structures of the liver. At the same time, it is poisoning your stomach, though you don’t know it. It irritates the stomach lining and too high a level and WHOOPS! out it comes – and, naturally you feel better for a bit because you disposed of an amount of booze. So, you go back to drinking.
In the mean time, you are pissing out large amounts of vitamins, potassium, magnesium, salts and assorted other things as your kidneys work frantically to get rid of the stuff that is poisoning them. Your brain, by then, has become anesthetized and is feeling pretty good, not realizing that the shift in electrolytes has shorted portions of it out and forced it to release endorphins.
Reacting to the level of alcohol in your system, the tissues of the brain swell, blood flow is restricted and some functions – like caution, inhibitions and such, kind of go to sleep.
When you stop drinking, the body is working real hard to recover from what you did to it and often, thanks to the electrolyte imbalance, you will get hot flashes, perspire heavily – and THAT will reek of alcohol because the body is dumping the stuff as fast as possible, your stomach will probably rebel because you caused the lining to become inflamed and the acid balance to go nuts, your intestines will be full of irritating booze and will probably have the liver pour bile into them to ‘grease’ the way to push the stuff out and you might get the runs.
In the process, as the numbing effects of the alcohol goes away, you’ll experience the shakes, trembles, blurred vision, cotton mouth and fuzzy thinking because your vital electrolytes have been knocked dangerously out of whack. Low electrolytes might cause your heart to hammer or skip beats – you’ve drained a lot of the needed potassium out of your blood by then and potassium helps the heart beat.
Your swelling brain will still have restricted blood flow which will not only account for a headache, but difficulty in thinking, problems with balance and loss of some motor control. Your abused intestines will cramp up and you’ll probably get the squirts. Your kidneys will still frantically be processing out the booze and taking more fluid out than you put in. (Drinking beer instead of water in a desert can kill you from dehydration.)
You might not notice the loss in brain cells, and you might not notice the loss of a few hundred tiny nefrons (?) in the kidneys nor the hardening of some of the delicate vessels in the liver, but, keep it up and you will. The booze will have stunned your taste buds, so your mouth will taste like the 5th army walked through it in dirty combat boots.
Your abused stomach will not even be all that happy to accept water.
If you are UNDER 30, then you probably will feel pretty good by the evening and go out and do it all over again. (I used to.) Over 30, the hang overs get harder and harder to get over and seem to feel worse and worse.
The depression that follows is a result of you fucking up your brain and alcohol is a depressive itself. (Oddly enough, because it makes you feel SO GOOD at first.) With that, plus the chemical imbalance plus all of the physical stuff, you’ll feel like dog shit for a time, promise NEVER to do it again and by the next day, probably go out and buy a 6 pack.
A possible alternative to surviving a hangover is to do the following: After stopping drinking, take two Excedrin (they’re a combination of aspirin and Tylenol) 500s, with a large glass of water. Try to take 2 B-150 vitamine pills, a potassium pill and some form of multi-mineral tablet. Rolaids will help settle your stomach or a liquid antacid that coats your stomach. AVOID orange juice if you have an ‘iffy’ stomach.
During the night, when you get up to pee, which, hopefully, you will, down some water to replace what your kidneys are still shoving out. After 4 to 6 hours, take 2 more excedrine. In the morning, if you have not already done so, SHOWER. It washes off the bodily salt loaded sweat and stink from the booze and makes you feel a bit better.
Take a multimineral pill, suck down a bunch of Gatorade – which is a mild electrolyte solution, and, if your stomach lets you, have something mild to eat, like toast. Then, during the day, remind yourself to drink more fluids - Gatorade if you can stomach it. Pedyialyte does JUST fine also.
By the way, that drink for the morning after, it helps by boosting up your blood alcohol. It merely postpones the hangover. Eventually, it’s going to catch up to you. Some doctors will give you tranquilizers, like Librium, to help stop the shakes and the internal ‘quivering.’
A wise thing to do when boozing is to knock back a B-150, plus a multimineral pill before getting started. Now, large glasses of ice water when you feel too drunk will ‘sober’ you up by diluting the alcohol in your system, but you will still be drunk. Still, they will add fluids to your rapidly dehydrating system and actually help ease the hangover later.
Of course, you could go buy a bunch of pedialyte, place it in the fridge and after coming home, gulp a bunch of it down along with Gatorade and that should help also. AFTER you spend some time on your knees before the great porcelain god in the bathroom, barfing up last years underwear and possibly your toes. (Vomiting also contributes to the sore stomach in the morning.)
Now, some wines contain sulfites – whatever the fuck they are, especially red wines. They create even rougher hangovers for some reason.
Satisfied? Now go out and have a few beers.