Okay, I did it! My lover and I got married in a wedding ceremony (Wiccan) and have filled out the paperwork for domestic partnerships here in sunny California. While the benefits are nice, they only go as far as the borders of the Bear Republic. So far as I know there’s no reciprocity with MA, CT or VT tho that may change in the near future.
My question is, what sort of legal forms should I complete so that outside of California, my spouse and I won’t have to worry about hospital visitations, medical decisions, inheritance, property ownership, etc. All those things heterosexual couples get by simply getting married. Is there some legal kit with the set of forms that we can fill out? Or is it more complicated than that?
Just curious, why not get married in a civil ceremony in a courthouse so you don’t have this problem? It seems the simplest solution. Note that I said “civil” which conveys all the legal protections you mentioned, without any religious connotations.
Quite right. Sorry if I didn’t make that clear in the OP. I’m a gay man who’s just married (been committed to, wedded, civilly unionized, domestically partnered) with my (gay male) lover. I’m just trying to protect myself and him legally as best as possible. I’ve done a web search but haven’t come up with much. I was hoping some of our legal eagles or others with some experience in this area, might point me in the right direction.
It’s more complicated than that. At a minimum, you’ll need wills and healthcare powers of attorney. But you’ll need to see a California attorney who can best advise you about these and other issues such as the manner in which you should hold title to property.
It’s really a very specialized area of the law; try these lawyers for some tips. One of the bar journals did an article about them recently; they have carved a niche for themselves in the area of domestic partnership planning (wills, etc.), and do pretty frequent free seminars (Bay area, not Valley, sorry) about the issues you’re facing. They have some articles on their website.
Give them a call, though; they may have some free information they can send you, or you may find that their rates are cheap (or at least affordable, considering the alternative). Or if you’re up for it, go to one of their seminars. The article I read was quite complimentary of them.
Alternatively, check with your local Lambda Law group (sorry if I’ve fudged the name); they may have local lawyers to refer you to.
One of my brothers is gay and has been through this. Unfortunately there are many issues to be dealt with such that a quick answer on a forum is not really possible.
As mentioned you need to retain an attorney and start working through all the issues such as medical power of attorney, estate planning (wills), agreements on how to split assests should you break-up and so on.
In short, you have to write up all the bits and pieces in legal documents that are generally taken care of by existing laws for heterosexual couples.
Thanks for your recommendations and congradulations, everyone!
That’s a good question. I don’t know about the status of reciprocity of marriages are between two countries, even if they’re good neighbors like the US and Canada. I think this question was hashed out in GD a while back, but I don’t recall the particular thread.
Don’t you have to be a citizen (or partner of a citizen) to be married by another country? I know some Americans get married overseas, but I assume that the actual legal documents are drawn up in America and it’s only the ceremonial part that takes place in the other country. Otherwise, I’m sure millions of gay Americans would be making a run for the border.
A few years ago, I read a piece written by one of the financial columnists who suggested that if a same-sex couple wanted to married but couldn’t that one person in the couple adopt the other. It sounds weird, but the parent-child relationship would at least establish a next-of-kin relationship that would be universally recognized.
Not necessarily – my mom was married in Japan (to another American). Their original certificate is in Japanese. It’s never been an issue for them AFAIK.
And I sadly suspect that we wouldn’t legally recognize a gay marriage from Canada.
As others have pointed out in previous threads, a Canadian marriage between two people of the same gender will not be legally recognized in the United States.
Freyr, you need to get a lawyer who specializes in this area. If you or your partner regularly travel to another state, you should probably consider consulting a lawyer in that state as well. The laws on this subject are too complicated to get any meaningful response on a message board.