I’m in the office today and earlier this morning I visited the ladies room and noticed that in the stall I was in someone had taped paper towel to the top of the toilet paper holder and left a pen there. I spent the morning idly contemplating why someone would do that. To take notes during a particularly long visit? I was just in there again a few minutes ago when some extra details made the real solution a little clearer. There are paper towels taped in the same way on all the toilet paper holders, there is a distinct odor in the air and most tellingly of all there is a coat of primer on all the walls. Apparently I was REALLY asleep this morning.
My son did this a few weeks ago, but he was horrified. He was napping in his room and after a while he started fussing a lot - this is quite odd for him as he usually wakes up quite cheerful.
I went into his room and he was fully nude and NOT happy about it. He was standing there pointing at his diaper yelling his face off as much as to say ‘Mother! My diaper fell off! I need a fresh one immediately if not sooner!!’
Another one for the God-bothering front: My cousin’s husband posted a comment about Diane Sawyer’s Gabby Giffords interview. (My cousin suffered a traumatic brain injury last year, so you can see why he was interested. ) He mentioned that he heard a lot about how courage helped in her recovery, but not much about faith. One of his friends replied, “You don’t need courage if you have faith.”
I just can’t even begin to delineate all the ways that statement is wrong. I just want to do :smack: over and over again.
Oh, Lily just doesn’t like clothes. Or shoes. Socks are right out too. And diapers, whether dry, wet, or poopy. No hats or sunglasses, no cute little hair ribbons or bands. She seems to only want factory original parts, nothing after market.
And, at 20 months, she can climb practically anything: cribs, tables, shelves, baby gates. We finally had to get one of those big metal gates to block off the office, mount the tv up very high, and we use a 36-inch door, turned sideways, to close off the den. All cabinets and drawers have latches, and all exterior doors have bolts mounted pretty high. She’s a little too smart for her own good, so I even have latches on the kitchen’s upper cabinets.
Monday was the food reaction (probably bad milk, when I got home Tuesday I took a whiff of it and yeah, it smelled off) that indirectly caused me to rip the toilet paper holder off the wall.
Seriously, we’ve had this conversation far too many times for someone who purports to be an adult.
Today, for about the 10th time (no exaggeration) in the three years we’ve been working together, I had to be moved away from you after some unsuspecting floor move manager put us next to each other once again. Every fucking time, I have to be moved away from you after complaining to management about your inability to LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.
Don’t fucking touch me. You have no business poking me in the arm to get my attention. ESPECIALLY since every time you do so, I am very clearly in the middle of a conversation with someone else, almost always DOING MY JOB with a customer on the phone. I would have thought you would have learned that lesson in spades last winter when I rounded on you fist raised and look of death on my face, only barely catching myself from throwing what would have been only my third actual punch in over 30 years of adulthood. And then having our supervisor move me (at my urgent request) within an hour and lecturing you about bothering me and about touching your co-workers like that.
Oh, and it wasn’t one poke, it was a constant repeated JABBING in my shoulder, probably more than 20 times, while repeating my name over and over like you’re a fucking three year old, while I was actively speaking to a customer and you could damn well see and hear it.
Get the fuck off me. You have no business leaning over my desk watching me type my notes while you loudly speak to your customer. You have no business standing directly behind my chair or leaning over me while doing the same. You’ve been talked to about that before and I have straight out told you to “fuck off” and get out of my personal space.
Do your own damned work. Seriously, you failed a skills check at work, something I completely aced, because you aren’t capable of researching issues and solving them yourself. Today in the back chats, every fucking person I talked to about your behavior (after they asked why I was moved again) mentioned they hated this about you. And that was entirely volunteered by every last one of them, because I didn’t ask or even mention that aspect of your behavior before they said it.
When I go on break or lunch, and I have repeatedly told you this and am fucking sick of you not getting this; LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. I have often told you straight out that I just want to zone out. I’ve asked you to leave me alone. I’ve put my head down on my desk, only to have you poke at me and barrage me with questions you should already know or be capable of looking up. FUCK OFF. I’m complained to management repeatedly that I am not being allowed to sit at my own fucking desk on break or lunch because you won’t fucking shut up and leave me alone. You’ve been talked to about it by pretty much every supervisor the two of us have had. GET THE MOTHERFUCKING CLUE ALREADY.
Seriously dude, I’m done being nice. Although I sometimes have a reputation as being a blunt speaking asshole, this is yet another example of how I allow people to go too far for too long to the point where it requires me to be an asshole because nothing less is having any effect.
Today you got spoken to about it AGAIN, because immediately after I got moved away, you started pulling the same shit on the woman on the other side of you to where she started complaining to me about you, and I showed her complaints to our boss. You’re on the edge, dude. Do you really want to start walking down the road of Progressive Discipline because you’re too fucking stupid to get the clue that you need to do your own work and stop violating the personal, physical and headspace of your co-workers? Are you really that retarded?
That’s right. If you like the idea of traveling on crowded planes during the holiday season with people who’ve been propagandized to distrust vaccines for preventable infectious diseases, Delta is the airline for you.
Dear idiot recruiter, no you really do NOT need my social security number for a preliminary submission for a job. Insist all you want, but a) I call bullshit and b) even if you weren’t trying to scam me, no way in hell would I work with a recruiting office who required that type of personal information in my first conversation with them. Go fuck yourself and your super important “client”.
OH MY GOD. I was so happy this year because 40 of the 50 people in my office got the vaccine (they bring a nurse in every year to give the shots). We are probably going to have far less absenteeism this year and our kids (who also all got the shot are less likely to get sick, too.
Our company also will pay for you to get the shot if you are travelling and happen to be in an airport where they are selling them (even though it is free to get one up here in Canada).
Or if it IS too late, just change your opening joke (you DO have an opening joke, don’t you? I thought all speeches are supposed to start with a joke) to: Does anyone have an extra pair of underpants they can give me?
I must be getting old or something. How in the heck does one forget their underwear? :dubious: That is something I would definitely notice right away. :eek:
