Wilson is a lynx Siamese, and he’s very friendly.
I’ve had three cats in my life.
In my youth there was one born a barn cat. It got saved from drowning as a kitten, and never adapted to domestication. He ended up living in the country with my grandparents near the farm he was born on - a barn cat without a barn. He was mildly social but never friendly but that was his early experience too.
I had two that weren’t officially purebred but were almost dead ringers for a Maine Coon and a Turkish Angora in description and other traits. The Maine Coon was a demanding cuddler …all 20 drooling lbs of him. The Turkish Angora was smart, actively sought human interaction (although shy with new people), highly bonded to me over other people, and went out of his way to take care of those he labeled as “his” humans. After some adaption they got along for quite a while…then seemed to have a falling out over sharing me. Neither of the breeds were clearly bred for socializing with humans. Neither needed it in my examples. Neither had a dog-like subservience. I probably could have turned the Maine Coon into a socialite purse rider though.
Cats are not “purpose-bred” for any one trait, but for a collection of traits known as the breed “standards.”
For example: Maine Coon Cat Standards
As you can see, these standards cover many traits, but affection or friendliness isn’t one of them, nor is a friendly temperament a recognized standard trait for any breed of cat. So, as I said, if a particular breeder decides to select for affection, that is a personal deal and not part of any breed standard.
In other words, is there an officially recognized “friendly” breed of cat? No. And that’s simply because “friendliness” is not an officially recognized characteristic.
I can see the logic of your notion that friendly cats will die out since they are being neutered, but I think that while it may be logical, it’s not what’s happening.
As for your notion that cats have tiny brains and simple lives, well, my girl kitty would be happy to show you some tricks that would leave you scratching your head. She and her brother have quite complex social interactions, actually. And her brother certainly lends support to the notions about orange males being affectionate. He is currently trying to learn how to use this computer while loving on me. Cats are a lot of things but simple is not one of them.
The OP may mean “friendly to strangers.” I have had lots of cats, because I used to live in a place where people tended to dump unwanted pets-- in my life, I’ve had 15 cats, and every single one has been very cuddly with me, but most of them have hidden from strangers.
I’ve had two cats who were dog-like in their pursuit of visitors to the house. One planted himself on the lap of anyone who came over, as soon as they sat down; he was so friendly, he liked going to the vet because of all the attention he got. I walked him in on a leash, and he hopped up on the counter and got all the people there to pet him, then he went up to all the people in the waiting room, with their cats cowering in the backs of carriers, and wanted petting. I used to take him to nursing homes for visiting.
One of the cats we have now is also very friendly with visitors. She harasses the maintenance guys whenever they come, trying to get attention while they try to work. I take out out on a leash once a week or so, because all the kids in the building want to pet her. Meanwhile, my other cat, who adopted me from the shelter when she was a kitten (I wasn’t even there for a cat, but she jumped on my shoulder, and wouldn’t let go), hides no whenever there’s a knock on the door, even if it’s just the maintenance people bumping it with the vacuum cleaner.
If I lived near Hollywood, or in New York, I’d be auditioning Miss Friendly for commercials, because she’s so remarkable, and because she so obviously loves it.
So, in sum: every cat = friendly with owner, unless it’s feral or has been raised badly. Typical cat = afraid of strangers. However, they get used to new people pretty well. I had a couple of cats when I got married, and they got used to my husband living in the house in a couple of weeks.
I made thispost about 2.5 years ago about my mom getting a kitten. The kitten was from a feral mom who must have gotten hit by a car, not sure how long the kittens were out before people found them.
The one she got was malnourished (after it got adequate food it grew rapidly in just a few weeks). However I wondered what role the fact that it was feral, the mom died, it was malnourished, etc. was going to have on it.
I have my answer now. The cat acts like it has PTSD. Based on this chart of body language, the cat goes to the furthest lower right square just if you walk past it. I’ve known the cat its whole life, never abused it and it still does that.
I’m not sure what happened. It was a very social kitten. Either way, I’m considering a pet and do not want one like my mom’s cat.
For whatever reason this cat likes to sit near me, about 5 feet away and pretend to sleep. Anyone know what that means?
My goal, if I do get a cat, is to not get one like that.
Get an adult cat. They’re fully formed, and you’ll know what their personality is from the get go. Getting baby animals is always a bit of a risk, I think. All puppies and kittens are cute and cuddly. Their real personalities emerge as they grow up.
IME, males are more easy-going than females, especially the males who were the largest of the litter.
Not a cat person are you, actually I would even venture to say you might not even know what a cat is?
Cat social structures are very complex and mature. It is more of a adult pier to pier relationship then a who’s top dog type of thing - in that it is far advanced over dogs in this respect which is much more on the level of children. Cats have a strong sense of mine, yours and common ground and divide up territory (including ‘relationship’ territory) in this fashion. They have a strong sense of identity and will defend what is theirs and let you know if you violated their stuff, but respect it and work with the cat and the relationship prospers and the cat is far more willing to be affectionate.
I second Renee’s recommendation of checking out adult cats for adoption. There’s the added benefit that they tend to be harder to find homes for because they aren’t still small and cute.
As to the pretending to sleep near you, my guess would be a show of connection/trust. Cats IM limited E make an art form of sleeping and my cats have run a range of different rest modes. There’s the dead to the world (and my Turkish Angora would literally appear to be dead with a broken back at times) through light napping to a just resting with their eyes closed mode. If scaredy cat is picking a spot near where you already are to relax, that may well say something about the relationship in it’s mind. Of course it could also say something about you picking a spot near prime sleep spots and it’s not willing to let you own the space. Is the cat picking the space after you are nearby? Do you find it sleeping there when you’ve been elsewhere?
Well stated post.
The cat sleeps near me, not the other way around (I don’t invade the cats personal space).
I adopted a cat that was the only survivor of a litter whose feral mother got hit by a car. She was malnourished and had parasites. She never grew to be very big, but she was solid and muscular. She was a very sweet, affectionate cat. I think what helped her, was that when she still weighed less than a pound, she bonded with that dog-friendly cat I had. She followed him everywhere, and they played all the time. He was really good, almost maternal, with her. He wasn’t even a year old yet himself.
Of course, he was a stray himself, so I don’t know his background, but I doubt he was feral. When I worked at an elementary school, I found him on the playground with the kids, and I took him away (he was about four months old), thinking I was rescuing him, and took him to the edge of the playground. I thought he’d run away, but he ran right back to the kids.
I think of myself as a cat person and I would consider only two of the eight cats I’ve owned as being friendly. Strangely one of the cats I owned hardly ever let me pet him yet he loved total strangers!
I’ve always thought of cats as people, just smaller, furrier, less annoying in general, and on average less likely to want to learn how to play the piano.
Which is why this kind of thread seems so strange to me. It reads a bit like:
“Have anyone bred a more social breed of human? Yes, the ones in the Mediterranean countries are often more outgoing. Scandinavians can be aloof. The best way to get a friendly human, though, is to raise it from birth. But it will vary between individuals.”
I mean, a lot of the advice here is right and good. But somehow, also very, very wrong.
But I guess that’s probably just me. 
Schrödinger did.
A good read is Desmond Morris Catwatching (yes the Naped Ape and Manwatching guy).
The difficulty is that we can’t ask cats why they do some things, so there is always some element of guesswork, and dare I say it? - slightly unscientific extrapolation, but it is a great book.
Morris essentially says that breeds make no difference, and that the first 12 weeks of life are the critical ones for determining the relationship a cat will have with people. If a cat is handled by five different people during this time a cat will be happy with anyone, and will be affectionate with total strangers. Less socialising than this and a cat will never be fully happy with strangers, right down to being extremely skittish with anyone they do not know. There is some evidence that the mother also teaches kittens about how to interact with humans. So a good breeder with a very happy household is a very good start to happy affectionate kittens.
My parent had a Burmese that would stand on the gate pillar and wait for strokes from random passers by.
Yes. While I have encountered cats that were friendly and affectionate toward strangers, it’s pretty typical for cats to be much more social and relaxed and interactive around people they know and trust.
I think this goes a long way toward explaining why people who don’t live with cats think of them as aloof or antisocial.
It is generally assumed that cats went thru a genetic bottleneck as some point and just don’t have the diversity of genes that dogs have. Hence the inability to breed cats in a wide range of sizes and shapes.
Personality range is also limited. But not exactly small. Of all the cats we’ve had, each has had a completely different personality and temperament from the others.
And, yes, Maine coon cats can be surprisingly people-oriented by regular cat standards. But there’s still a genetic lotto component as well as how they are raised.
With considerable effort, an even friendlier breed might be developed. But the problem is that genetic bottleneck. As you start breeding very selectively, undesirable traits start to become more common as you lose even more genetic diversity. Hence the problems with a lot of puppy mill dogs.
Having two wonderful Ragdolls, this is absolutely true. The female follows me around like a puppy, cries when I leave, and both are waiting for me at the door when I get home.
If this and similar sites are accurate, there are certain cat breeds which may be more human-friendly, overall, than some others. YMMV:
Siamese are said to be dog-like in devotion to their humans. IDK since I haven’t interacted with any.
My domestic short hair, a former street cat, is quite friendly and affectionate.
It’s also been noted in multiple studies that cats pretty much domesticated themselves; they slowly wandered into human communities and started eradicating rodents, then kept hanging around for food. Cats are low-maintenance and can mostly take care of themselves–hence, the perception that they are aloof. They don’t really need us. Maybe we need them. Mine provides purr therapy, warmth, fun (scampering, playing ball, attacking the robotic mop, etc.).