My sister-in-law has a housecat** that’s really, really friendly and forward with people. In my experience, this is unusual among felines – a lot of (adult) housecats are standoffish and will run off and hide if unfamiliar people come around. A lot of other housecats will start off kind of wary, but warm up to new people given time.
What I’m talking about is a cat that pretty much acts like a good-natured lap dog. Their cat will come up to any and all strangers that enter the house and beg for attention. If you sit on their sofa, the cat will come over right away and rub up on you, prod your hand with his head, and so forth. The cat even licks like a dog at times. He’s a very sweet cat, and his behavior leads to lots of family joking about him being a “cat-dog”.
So … is this friendly behavior something you can instill in a cat if you so desire? Or is it more something that’s inherit in a given cat’s personality?
*** I specify “housecat” to distinguish between (a) cats that have been around people since birth and (b) formerly feral cats that have been adopted.*
Just a casual observation, so don’t read much into it: might have to do with the breed. I’d say that only about 5% of all housecats that I’ve ever encountered exhibit this ‘loveslut’ behavior. Just from searching my memory, short-haired calicos seem to be heavily represented in this subset. Other than that, I gots nuthin’.
As I understand it, raising a kitten with lots of luvvin’ and cuddles and gently rubbing it’s face into yours programs it to grow up into an adult cat that equates human contact with pleasure.
Apparently Ragdoll cats were bred to be docile, which in the cat world often translates as friendly. I know our ragdoll is amenable to being picked up and hauled around, and likes to spend time around others, and if us humans want to call that friendly, then I suppose he’s a friendly cat.
Different breeds do have different levels of friendliness with human beings, but it’s also a matter of the cat’s upbringing. If the mother was friendly with humans, and there were a lot of humans around being nice to the cat while it was a young kitten, then it’s more likely to be friendly.
An extreme case was a cat which my family once had. It was born into a house full of cats, which the city council took away. However, this one was overlooked: it was so young that it had not yet been weaned, and so we fed it with a human baby’s bottle for a while. Since it had been nursed by humans, it was extremely friendly with them. It also had not been socialised in proper relationships with other cats: it kept on invading the territories of neighbourhood cats, and play-fighting them in a kitten-like way when it was old enough to know better – so that was some of the upbringing that it had missed out on because its mother had been taken away at such an early age.
I’d say IMO ( and that’s all that it is, I don’t have cites ) it’s more inherit to a given cat’s personality. For example one of my two is very friendly and “dog-like”, including with strangers, but he has been that way since day one when I got him at ~12 weeks old. The other is very affectionate towards me and good-naturedly tolerant of everyone else - but he won’t usually climb into anyone’s lap but mine.
As mentioned some breeds have a reputation of being a bit more docile/friendly on average, neutered males are traditionally cited as more affectionate on average than females or unneutered males and certainly steady socialization from a very early age can create a more people-comfortable individual.
But cat breeds seem somewhat less plastic than equivalent dog breeds, particularly in terms of temperament. As much as some people insist that kitten are changeable as they mature, my experience has largely been the opposite ( putting aside the normal kitten spasticness and insanity ). IMHO the best chance to get a friendly, out-going cat is to get an outgoing kitten ( and subjectively not all of them are ) and socialize it extensively while young.
Like most things it is a combination of things. To get a super friendly cat you need a cat who: 1) naturally has a sociable temperament AND 2) is raised being around kind, loving humans from the earliest age.
If either one of those is missing, the cat wont be super loving.
I think I can speak directly to this, as we kept several kittens from the same litter and raised them together, treating them exactly the same:
Arthur is exactly as you described. He comes when he’s called, leaps into stranger’s laps, cuddles, licks your hands, and rolls over on his back to have his belly rubbed.
Lena is standoffish, but will tolerate a bit of attention. She’ll growl if picked up and get very upset if you try to rub her belly. She definitely won’t lick. When she’s in the mood, she’ll cuddle, but just with people she knows.
Shadow really could not care less about people most of the time (every now and then he wants attention, but that’s on his terms). He will generally stay away from strangers.
Three siblings raised together, three very different personalities!
It’s almost impossible to tell what a kitten will be like when it matures. If you really want a cat that adores everyone, I suggest going to a shelter and looking only at adult cats. Look for the cat that is rubbing its head on your feet 5 seconds after meeting you. It will be the one that purrs loudly while you carry it around everywhere and meows pitifully when you leave the room.
Beware though, once you bring the attention-whore cat into your home, your lap will never be safe from kneading paws and you’ll never be able to sleep without a fuzzy thing trying to get under the covers with you.
Again, my experience differs. And I’m not the only one.
It has been my own observation that this factoid is repeated most often in animal shelters, by folks that have strong motivations for promoting the adoption of adult cats over kittens ( which, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for ). I’m not at all saying anyone is being dishonest, but I think confirmation bias plays into the situation.
ETA: And of course I should be clear and say that of course it is impossible to predict an adult personality from a juvenile one with absolute confidence. It’s just that IMHO there is a lot more correlation than some seem to think.
Every creature has their own personality - my two cats were raised nearly the same way, and one is super-friendly (in exactly the way yo describe in your OP) and gentle but a bit fearful of new things, and the other is standoffish, often aggressive and fearless.
But you can ‘socialize’ cats the same as you do dogs, and children. It won’t make a naturally aloof individual an attention whore, but those that aren’t exposed to new people and experiences at an early age will become more wary of new people and experiences on average. Since most cats I know are either indoor-only (hence very restricted in their exposure to new things) or mostly outdoor (hence little exposure to any humans) I’m not surprised most aren’t too friendly.
I know several people that have leash-trained their kittens starting very young and taken them everywhere, and they are all unusually friendly cats, though not necessarily in a ‘doggy’ way like my cat and the one in the OP.
ETA: In reference to the above post, I got my cats at 5 weeks old and 7 weeks old, and both of them have had the same temperament their whole lives. I’ve generally found this to be true in cats, dogs and people I’ve known since their youth.
Desmond Morris in his book Catwatching posits that cats behaviour with humans is mostly set in the first six weeks. He advises that at least 5 separate people need to pet the kitten during this time. He also notes that the mother’s attitude to humans will be learnt by the kitten, so a mother that is very friendly with humans will be a good thing to start with too. A kitten that has been raised by a mother that bolts at the sight of a human and that has never been petted as a kitten is going to be really hard to socialise. It is suggested that breeders that have happy queens, and that have their family interact with the kittens each day will provide really nice friendly cats.
On the other hand, individual variation clearly has a part to play. Cats have individual personalities, and this will vary the result you get. I currently have a couple of six month old rescued cats. They were trapped on an industrial estate. Brothers, they are quite different in their behaviour. One is much more easy going with humans than the other. Both will run off when a stranger arrives, but whilst one will hide in the cellar, the other will eventually come out to say hello and wander about. But this is, I think, more reflection on more inherent personality differences than just human socialisation. With more than one cat, the more dominant cat will often be the more social, and changes in the dominance hierarchy reflected in comfort around humans. My parents had a couple of cats (brother and sister, pure Burmese) and it was only on the untimely death of the dominant of the two that the other one became a total sooky lap cat, almost adopting her brothers personality overnight.
I got my Abby from a good breeder, and her mama was an affectionate queen, as was she…
She exhibits all of the happy behaviors described as a ‘cat-dog’- and she was in a cage most of her life apart from humans- just loved on when the opportunity arose…
In my experience it’s more nature than nurture but nurturing can help. I’ve had both outgoing and skittish cats - raised together and different as night and day. Can’t speak to Morris’ theory since the youngest cats I adopted were six weeks old. Practically speaking, most kittens won’t be available for adoption til six-to-eight weeks old.
I don’t know if this is unusual - my 18 year old, diabetic cat who was always skittish and aloof has become much more affectionate and calm in the last couple of years. I’m pretty sure his age and condition have affected his personality.
Nope. My cats are littermates, exact same life experiences – the girl is super friendly, the boy isn’t. (Except when I’m lying in bed, when the boy wants to cuddle and the girl is indifferent.)
I’d bet that your sister’s cat is (or has some) Maine coon! I’m not an expert, but here’s my description: Maine coons can come in all different colors, but they are identifiable in that they have fluffy long-haired tails, but instead of a typical long-haired cat, their body fur is more a mix of long and short hair with longer hair around the neck/collar. They are apparently a pretty common cat in the US, readily found in shelters and pounds. It wasn’t until I researched that I realized my cat was a Maine coon and that a previous cat with a similar personality was as well.
I’ve had 6 cats over the years and all were pound kitties (except one Siamese.) The personality of my current Maine coon is remarkably dog-like. Mine is quiet and her purr is not typical - she sounds more like she’s snoring when she purrs, but I don’t know if this is unique to her or the norm. She is the friendliest cat I’ve ever had, with the family as well as strangers. She comes when you call her, if you lay on the floor, she’ll immediately come to you. She sleeps with one of us every night, usually my daughter, sometimes at the foot of the bed, often on the pillow nestled against her head with her tail wrapped under her chin!
She also grooms our hair and is almost always in the same room with people - she never hides. When I am home alone, she follows me from room to room. She comes into the bathroom while I shower, then into my room while I dress, then hangs out in the kitchen or living room with me. She usually sits in an empty chair at the table while we eat dinner. Even during a noisy party, she will be hanging out in the same room. She came to us when our son was only 2 and not always terribly gentle with her. She was amazingly tolerant and could have/should have scratched him up a number of times, but didn’t. Even when he was really bugging her, she’d swat at him, walk away and then sit down about 2 feet from him - she’d never leave the room! When one of the kids is sick, she is in their room or outside their bedroom door keeping watch. She’s the most awesome cat.
All my cats have been pretty friendly, but the personality of a Maine coon is notably different.
