I want to know what that feels like, because no one, as far as i know, has ever really been obsessed with me.
Just to make things less muddy- for a second can we dismiss the dangerous, stalking obsession. I am sure I can imagine what that’s like.
I mean the type where somebody has an enormous crush on you, and you don’t feel the same way.
What is that like?
I imagine it being flattering at first, then a bit creepy and then maybe you feel bad.
But I wouldn’t know.
You hit it on the head.
It’s flattering at first, but I just had no romantic feelings for the guy.
He would buy me flowers, candy, take me to dinner and movies. I thought I would learn to love him, but it just never happened. I’ve always felt guilty about it. I mean I have been totally in love with someone and not to have those feelings returned can be crushing, if not devastating.
Now I find out from his sister that he is still in love with me (talks about me all the time, knows my address but is too embarassed to write to me), even though I am 8 states away and haven’t seen him in more than 9 years. And went into the priesthood after I moved away.
You’re right. It is creepy.
And thanks for letting me vent.
It is terrible. At first things are ok and you think it is just infatuation that will go away but it doesn’t. This happened twice with two different people. The first one was neighbor. She would watch my coming and goings and ask where I had been and with whom. It got too scary and told her that I didn’t want to see her anymore. So she called my mother to complain. After a while she got a clue and began to leave me alone. The second one I worked with. She was convinced that I would break up with my current GF and go ou with her. She would put her underwear in my coat while at work and hope that the GF would find it. After a while she stopped. Sone after I broke up with the GF and so she started bothering me again. I’m not too proud of what I did to make her stop but it worked. I agreed to go on a date with her. I made sure it was the worst date of her life. Needless to say she never called again.
I’ve had a couple of guys that were obsessed (or semi-obsessed) with me. When I was a junior in highschool I had a freshman that would follow me after every single class. He would go out of his way to walk by me in the halls and say “hi” to me. I would go to the football games and basketball games and he would be there… staring at me. He was always having his friends come up to me and say, “John wants to tell you hi” or “Here’s a note that John wrote for you.” It was really creepy after awhile. I graduated and didn’t see him again for about 5 years. Then, one night in a bar I used to frequent, he was there and it started all over again. He would sit on a barstool and just stare at me. He never came over and tried to talk to me or anything, he would just stare.
I also had an ex-boyfriend who was somewhat obsessed with me after we broke up. He would send me flowers and cards and called all the time and then when he found out I was dating someone else he started threatening to kick my boyfriend’s ass and shit like that. He finally moved away and I didn’t see him for about 4 years and then earlier this year I ran into him. I just said hi as I walked by and that was it. Looks like he’s not obsessed with me anymore… thank G-d.
A guy in college who was convinced he was transsexual became obsessed with me. (I’m male.) He would visit my dorm room and talk about meeting me after he had his operation. I wouldn’t know who he was, in his scenario, and I would be totally blown away to discover his former identity. Then I’d fall completely in love with him. I suppose I’m just too heterosexual to entertain that thought.
My roommate thought this was great stuff, and used to laugh and laugh about it after the guy left. (He was also the one who would let the guy into our room, since I’d pretend I wasn’t in if he came by.) I always felt sorry for the guy, so I didn’t tell him off.
Ever notice that it’s not the ones you WANT to be obsessed that are?
Nope, but if anyone wants to volunteer for the job I’d be more that happy to act aloof and unattainable for you!
I don’t have to act. I AM aloof and unattainable. If anybody was obsessed with me I didn’t notice.
But I’ve done tons of obsessing.
In grade 9 there was this really creepy guy who used to follow me around all the time. And when I’d stop he’s say “geez… you’re everywhere I go!” Uh-huh, I wonder why… He used to write me notes too, with his name and phone number asking me out, but everytime he’d put it in my hand he’s say it wasn’t from him. It was sad.
I’ve always had a few of my guy friends turn crazy on me, and start following me around. There was one in particular that I called “hover-boy”. He was always so close by my side that if I lost my balance, I’d crash right into him. He wouldn’t say anything either… he’d just stand there.
I would most certainly have to agree that it is flattering in the beginning but it grows quite creepy very very quickly. But it’s nothing compared to when some guy finds you on ICQ and tells you what you wore to school the day before.
:: shudder ::
Someone is obsessed with me, but not in a NICE way. Another author came out with a book similar to one of mine, at about the same time. My book kicked his book’s butt around the block, and now I find myself in a literary feud that makes Gore Vidal and Norman Mailer look like a Ladies’ Home Journal tea party.
The guy has a file on me, is blackballing me from all those A&E and TCM documentaries on film history by bad-mouthing me (I know this for a fact, as people have called me afterward and said, “you won’t BELIEVE what this guy is saying about you!”). I have the uneasy feeling I will wind up stuffed and mounted in his root cellar . . . Oh, well, “you’re nobody till somebody hates you . . .”
Eve, that really sucks!
I’ve had an ex be obsessed with me for a while after we broke up. It is NOT pretty, especially for a clueless high schooler. Ever since that experience, I’ve tried to end relationships on at the very least, a civil note, if not a downright friendly one. So far, so good!
At first it’s flattering that someone finds you attractive or whatever. After awhile it gets creepy because you know that person is checking you out all the time.
My former co-worker would send me notes telling me she loved me. She’d call me in the middle of the night after she’d been drinking and cry. Once she asked me where I was the night before because she’d driven by my house and my car wasn’t there. I didn’t give her my telephone number or address so she must’ve taken them from the company directory. She’d leave me presents on my desk. She had a girlfriend who was a cop and I was scared to death that she’d come after me.
I told her repeatedly that I had a boyfriend and wasn’t interested but that didn’t stop her. Eventually I had to complain to my boss and my employer had some hearings where I was made to feel like I’d done something wrong. I was even asked whether I would still feel comfortable working with this person. I told them I did not feel comfortable in her presence and they were forced to transfer her to another building. She ended up quitting the job because she said she only wanted to work in my building.
Two ex-boyfriends. One was obsessed in the background, one very much in the foreground.
It got creepy quickly with the latter. We dated in University for about 3 months. He got far too serious far too fast - wanted to get formal portraits taken with me and my daughter, as a ‘family,’ introduced me to his family as ‘the one,’ stuff like that. I broke it off, but he would not go away. He got himself into classes I was in, regardless of subject matter. He showed up at my house at odd hours, regardless of the fact that I would not let him in. He called at all hours - I stopped answering the phone. He was never threatening or scary, just persistent. I was dating someone else, and it really freaked my new boyfriend out that this guy was just around all the time. When I changed apartments, several months after our breakup, I also changed my phone number and didn’t tell him I was planning to do either. He finally got the hint, though he did end up showing up once after that (ran into a friend of mine, who was not aware of the situation, and he followed the friend to my house). I treated him quite coldly, and he did not show up again.
The former, background obsession was just upsetting. We dated for maybe a month, but he was terribly upset at it ending. He begged me not to, etc., but I knew it would not work between us. I ran into a friend of his about a year later, and just out of polite curiousity, asked how ‘J’ was doing. He looked me right in the eyes and said, quite seriously, “He still hasn’t gotten over you.” I was upset for quite a while about that, kind of wondering what I had done to this poor guy.
Eve, that is just awful. Keep your chin up. WE all know how wonderful you are.
Turp, how can you suggest no one’s obsessed with you? Don’t you remember the restraining order and the SWAT team incident? All this time, and I thought I’d finally made an impression on you…
In fact, I’m standing outside your window right now…
Oh wait, you wanted non-stalking stuff. I have no experience to draw upon. My contribution to this thread is therefore pretty much useless.
Sorry.
I’ve been obsessing over myself for years now…
I have one:
My high school boyfriend “stalked” me for about seven years. He sent cards, books, candy, letters, a Discman (which I returned to him). The letters alternately told of how he was suddenly fabulously wealthy and driving a corvette (yeah, right) and how he was over me or how he was pining away for me, dreaming of seeing me having sex with other people, wanting to be with me again even though I hadn’t spoken to him in years. Sometimes in the same letter. He came to be known as my “psycho stalker ex-boyfriend.”
The funniest moment in the saga came during college when one of my suitemates declared that we should send him a postcard that read (and she said it in a funny, insistant/annoyed voice) “vix is dead. Do not write to this address.” We about died laughing.
** inoci **-
I thought you had disappeared off the face of the planet!
And all this time you were here, peeking at me through my windows?
You can come in, you know- Susan Bananahands would be thrilled to meet you.
There was a guy in high school that I was friends with who sort of became obsessed with me. He’d somehow break into my locker and leave tapes he’d made in there for me. I was dating a guy at the time and when he dropped me off at my house, the obsessor guy was often sitting out on our front porch or in the shadows on our lawn waiting for me. He just wanted to talk. He was a really nice, smart, funny guy, I just wasn’t interested, so I always felt really bad. My boyfriend knew about it and one night, while I was at his house and some of his friends were over, they prank called the guy and told him he was a geek, made fun of him, that sort of thing. We broke up very shortly afterward. I have felt absolutely awful about that for years. I’ve since graduated college, started a career, gotten married, and bought a house and I still think about that guy and feel bad about what happened.
In college, I dated a guy for awhile and it was one of those trouble-letting-go-after-we-broke-up obsessions that went on. He’d write long, involved, pining letters to me, sit outside my house for hours waiting for me, etc. Once, I even discovered him sitting inside my car waiting for me to come out. It had gotten too cold just sitting outside. :rolleyes: Another nice guy. I just found out this past weekend that he’s married!
Three times, harmless crushes.
[ul]
[li]A girl in first grade gave me a mini-wallet picture of herself. On the back was written “[AWB] I Love You [LA]”. I was too young to be flattered by this, but I did keep the picture.[/li]
I found the picture when I was cleaning my house before I graduated college. It was amongst my sister’s old boxes.
Before my 10 year reunion, I misplaced the picture. At the reunion, I told LA about it. She was horrified (because of the 1970’s fashion she was wearing, not that it had the note on the back), until I told her I couldn’t find it. Since then, I have. And our 20 year is coming up… 
[li]A girl that I worked with at a fast food restaurant. She flirted with me, but I wasn’t interested. I was either put off by her forwardness or her being a little overweight. (OK, I was a pig back then.)[/li]
Turnabout was fair play a few years later, though. She was a couple of years younger than me, and started college when I was a junior. She had to take a computer class, and I was the student employee in charge of the computer lab. And she was hot! She’d lost the excess weight, and done her hair in a more flattering fashion. I asked her out; she turned me down. Fair cop, V.
[li]Mystery woman. She called me up one night after I’d given her my home phone number. Trouble was, I couldn’t remember her! (That year, I didn’t have a car. So when I went out for drinks after work, I usually overdid it. Especially during the holiday season, because the bar had tons of free taxi ride coupons. So I had less active brain cells going at any time then.)[/li]
She said we’d met at a topless bar (!) near where I worked. She mentioned some things about myself that only I would know and had obviously talked about. She asked if we could meet again, at the bar we’d met at before. I said OK, at we set a date.
Well, she didn’t show. She called later and apologized. We set up another date. Another no-show, but no further calls.
So I don’t know if she’d lost her nerve, forgotten what I looked like, or didn’t like what she saw if she did peek in. And it’s not like she was trying to embarass me by having me show up there; I was a regular. 
[/ul]
I was about 10 yrs old and was at a religious summer camp that my Aunt had gotten me into. The first day there, some friends and I were swimming on the raft in the swimmer’s area and some girl on the pier about 50 ft away started shouting at me, “Amy likes you!”. I didn’t know who Amy was at the time, but later that day I did meet her… and she was hot! But me being 10 at the time, I really didn’t know how to act around girls, especially girls that thought I was cute (Hey, at that point I never had any girl that I was interested in say I was cute). So because I couldn’t handle it, I spent the rest of the week at camp trying to avoid her, but she kept following me around when she could. She did end up taking a picture of me at the end of the week… much to my objections. I still sometimes wonder what ever happened to her. I was such a dork back then.
I’d be very much suprised to learn that anybody thought about me sexually.
[Edited by Eutychus55 on 10-31-2000 at 03:03 PM]