Okay so I’m nothing special when it comes to looks or even personality but for some reason men these days get way too emotionally attached way too quickly to the point where they’ll be telling me they would rather die than be without me, or that they would kill for me and after only a few days or weeks. Now, i know when a guy says that they don’t always mean it but lately they really have meant it i spent last night trying to convince someone not to kill themselves because i couldn’t meet up with them right at that moment. This is not the first time this has happened but with numerous people. ex boyfriends keep asking for another chance after 3 years of being apart and only 3 months of being together, male friends are all trying it on, ex sex buds keep asking me over. I’m going insane its as if i woke up one day and I’m megan fox minus the terrible acting. I’m not big headed or insecure however i used to worry i was attracting crazies but its gotten to the point now where i think I’m turning them crazy. people I’ve known for years are suddenly changing and acting all clingy and cheesy. i hate it and i don’t want to break anyones heart. please help. I’ve tried not leaving my house for weeks on end but im still subject to relentless messages and phone calls. its making me woozy. :eek: I’m trying not to go too insane over it but i can’t even describe the amount of crazy things people have done in an attempt to keep me or get me in their life and its exhausting. i want a relationship and i want to be in love but i need the person that happens with not to be obsessed with me. well atlas not straight away :’) but in any case any advice/tips on how to form a healthy connection with someone without any weird obsessions being formed? or failing that how to deal with obsessive people? much appreciated 
No, they are actually crazy. If someone tells you they’re going to kill themselves because you can’t meet up, let them.
i usually would but its scary when its someone you’ve known for a long time
Sorry, knee-jerk reaction. What I should have said is that the person is not crazy, but trying to manipulate you. The sooner you learn to say “Fuck that”, the happier your life will be.
fair enough thank you for the advice
Maybe it wouldn’t have been such a long time if you just let them get on with it.
Why is it that so many of our new posters start off with an OP that’s a wall of text?
Paragraph breaks are a Good Thing, folks.
i think you answered your own question. I’m new to this.
i knew them before they got weird
*Well I’m a king bee
Want you to be my queen
Well I’m a king bee, baby
Want you to be my queen
Together we can make honey
The world has never seen *
You are not responsible for someone else you just met psychological health or issues, next time a guy tries to manipulate you like that tell him if he threatens suicide again you’ll tell his family or call 911.
haven’t just met known him for a long time only recently things took a bad turn and yes i agree with calling the police or family suggestion
Wish we could fix them. We can’t, we’re just a community of posters on a message board.
We don’t have a cure for being a teen or getting through your twenties or dealing with different people that really need to grow up. Before people start giving you joke advice or felony-level reaction ideas (and laughing at you if you try them)
why not try distance, time, and let the hormones pass?
If its seems dangerous, call the police… but leave the bad plot ideas to Hollywood.
Is this the same guy who has hinted at double suicide as part of your “love story?”
Your post makes you sound as if you might be a bit co-dependent. You are owning other people’s emotional garbage and seem like you’re afraid to say no. No is a complete sentence. You don’t have to make up excuses to go along with no, nor do you have to apologize for saying no. I’m going to guess that many, of not all, of these men you write about are controlling manipulators. The behaviors you mention are all things people do to try to control the behavior of others. Abusers frequently start out with overblown declarations of love and devotion very early in relationships. This establishes a sense of obligation in their targets and makes you easier to manipulate and control.
I’d suggest the following:
- Get a therapist to help you work on self-esteem and co-dependency issues.
- Learn how to say no.
- Learn how to not own other people’s emotions. Take responsibility for only your own.
- Be single for a while. Get to know and love yourself.
- After some introspection and some hard work, you might be ready for a relationship. When and if that happens, look for men who are more mentally and emotionally healthy.
- Take a good long look at your own behavior and think about what kind of person that type of behavior might attract. Think of behaviors you might change in order to attract, and be attracted to, a more healthy person. Again, a therapist would be very helpful to you in this regard.
Where was That gem burried?
It was 15 minutes after I posted when I saw in another thread that the OP advocated making smart people smoke pot so idiots could seem smarter. :dubious:
Sure you are. Don’t sell yourself short. You’re beautiful. And you’re wonderful.
I mean, you’re not perfect. You do have a rather strange relationship with paragraphs and punctuation. For me, personally, that is a deal breaker. But a lot of guys are able to look past that.
As for dealing with obsessive people: Don’t engage them. Don’t let it get as far as even the third date. Get rid of them sooner rather than later.
Then, be proactive. Find someone who clearly doesn’t obsess over you, and hook up with them instead. Someone who isn’t chasing you, but that you have to chase.
Also, pack pepper spray. And be ready to use your angry voice. Scare them off.
Stop agreeing to anal.
That is a pretty interesting question. You might have some theories as to why so many people are choosing you to act this way about – do you?
Drones like Queen Beeatches. Whaddya gonna do.