Has anyone ever tried to kill/murder you? [Warning, morbid, and TMI?]

Granted this is a pretty morbid topic, but I just wanted to put the question out there. Has anyone ever tried to kill you, or at least really did want you dead?

I’m looking for anything. Has the mafia put a hit on you? Maybe you fired someone who wanted revenge? Did you sleep with another man’s wife? Maybe you treated a psychotic murderer in a mental hospital? The one thing all these people have in common is that they honestly wanted you dead and if they could they really would kill you.

Frank gave me permission to start this. You guys know the rules, so no one say something that will get them in trouble please.

I’ve been shot at in Iraq and twice people left fake IEDs near where I was living as a warning to get out, plus a sniper shot one of my employees on our property, does any of that count?

Yep, just a potshot. Hardly worth mentioning. (Do drunken bar fights count?)

When I was about 16, a friend and I were walking down a country road to his house late at night. Some fucktard drove past us, turned around, and made two passes trying to run us over. The last one was so close I could “feel” it as it past us.


Well, I’ve been in ETA’s death list, but then, so were all my cousins - anybody with my lastname (no, we’re not royalty).

B was my best friend from K-1 until she got a boyfriend. Her brother K is one year younger. When we were in 8th grade, him and his friends would walk behind us on the way to and from school, using the shells of bic pens to shoot grains of rice at us. The fuckers had good aim, too. Have you ever had sciatica? Now imagine that it’s actually got a Known Cause and you may get an idea about how angry this made us. At midmorning recess they’d get close to us and just show us the bic shells, looking angelic any time a teacher was nearby.

Of course, any complaints were met with “you’re exagerating” by the respective Parental Units. K’s denials were apparently more compelling evidence than the bruises in our butts and backs (my mother would directly refuse to look and tell me to “get decent”).

One day at midmorning recess they started again; we managed to corner one, at which point the rest came by as well. B and K started yelling at each other; at one point he made a sort of stabbing gesture with the fist that held the bic shell and I snatched it from his hand. K tried to get it back, B grabbed him and held his arms behind him. I dropped the shell and made as if to step on it. K yelled “you step on it and I KILL YOU!”

I stepped on it.

He escaped B, jumped on me throwing me to the floor with him on top of me and tried to choke me. By the time they were able to get him off me, I was starting to lose vision.

Of course, the teachers decreed that, since I was the oldest person involved (I’m 10 days older than B), it was All My Fault. I got three weeks of Saturday Morning Detention.

I guess people just don’t like me. My mother tried to abort me in her third trimester (does that count?). A guy in high school held a knife to my throat at a party, telling everyone he wanted me dead. I was mugged at gunpoint in Seattle once (although, the guy apparently did not want to actually kill me, because he never shot the gun). And once, my father tried to suffocate me under a pillow when I was 7.

For some reason, I am thinking that there are probably more people who would like to see me die, they just haven’t actually tried.

You can laugh at this one, but while riding my bike on a country road one day, a dude in an oncoming SUV threw a glass bottle at me. It smashed on the road in front of me.

Certainly not premeditated murder, but you have to think that he knew “death” was a likely outcome from his actions.

You know, Nava, you live a much more exciting life than I do.

I was jumped by three guys and choked until I passed out. I beleive they thought I was dead, good thing for me I wasn’t.

When I was 7 or 8, I knew a neighborhood kid with a real bad temperment. He was adopted (not that this should matter), and had lots of issues. IIRC, he was abusive to animals and such. I can’t imagine his life turned out really good. One day, while swimming, I remember him holding me under the water to the point where I really started to panic (obviously, he released me before it was too late).

I got into a fight in college. I beat the crap out of about three guys who were trying to intimidate me.

The next day about three dozen of their friends showed up with knives, bats and guns. I escaped out a side door and was escorted to security by some guards who were almsot pissing their own pants. Police riot teams showed up and arrested a bunch of guys.

Yes. An Ex.


I suppose some sort of racial cleansing thing. Separatists often get like that.

Yep. With limited success. I spent a wee bit of time being clinically dead.

I got better. :wink:

I have an endless supply of zombie jokes.

Nava mentions the ETA – the Euskadi Ta Askatasuna – and from the looks of things, Nava is a Spanish National. They’ve been known to target the spanish military and police personnel, as well as their families, businessmen, politicians, journalists, lecturers, judges, intellectuals… and their strikes are anything but surgical, so they just have had a tendency to take out family units if necessary.

That kind of explains the groundwork, at the very least :slight_smile:


I belong to a political organization. Another member (now former member) of the organization “went off the deep end” and accused me and others of engaging in a vast FBI conspiracy against her to steal her money and eggs. Now, she thinks she has kids scattered around the country from her eggs. Anyway, she has threatened to kill the roughly 5 or so people engaged in this conspiracy, which includes me. Looney Tunes.

When I was 16 my brothers and I used to hang out at the church we went to after school. My Mom worked there at the time and it was the only way to see her everyday*. One day we were out throwing a football and doing laundry when some guys from the Acorn Housing Projects started bothering these girls down the street, they, the girls I mean were also church members and friends. After some back and forth between us and them they left.

About an hour later we’re still there when they came back, except they’ve bought friends. Now it’s 4 (us) against 8 or 9. They jumped us but we fought them off. They ran and we being dumb asses chased them. When they got to the overpass on 14th street one of the guys turned around and started shooting at us. We still being dumb asses stood there until he stopped shooting and started chasing them again. Then the police pulled up, guess which group they stopped.

*We were homeless of sorts at the time.